Another asking if its worth carrying on?

[Shouldibuy]

ds2 is 2.9. Tried pt before but was never that into it, so left it till he pretty much asked to be in big boy pants. Went really well for the first few weeks - pretty much no accidents, now he is having accidents several times a day.

Its as if he has decided that he can do it, so he doesnt feel the need to any more iyswim. Slight touch of laziness perhaps. We have done sticker charts and lots of encouragement when he does it in the toilet, but don't know how we can stop him having accidents as often?

Any tips - we have also done asking him if he needs to go lots, but five minutes later, he says - I've gone already (in his pants).

Slightly tempted to go back to nappies but seems like a bad idea after knowing he can do it fine.

What is your reaction when he tells you he has gone in his pants?

What is his reaction if you just take him to the toilet rather than asking him if he needs to go?

Could your reward system use a bit of a shake up? Have you tried the marbles in a jar method? Each dry day = 1 marble in a jar. Full jar = trip to toy shop. That kind of thing.

Up till now I have been calm and just focused on praise, but I am feeling a bit cross with him now, as I think he can do it, and is almost choosing not to.

He complains a bit if I just take him, but sometimes will pee. We do that before we go out, but sometimes he seems to need to pee again very shortly after.

Shaking up the rewards sounds like a plan. Do you take a marble out for a day with accidents, or just keep focusing on the positives?

I think taking one away would be a little harsh. Though I have been known to say "Oh, what a shame - you won't be getting a marble today", if he has an accident. And I feel bad about that!

Though I think it's important not to berate a young child for having an accident, I doubt it helps much to stay completely upbeat about accidents either. When accidents were frequent I would just repeat my mantra "Where does wee wee go? In the????" To which he would reply "Toilet". Occasionally he would give me a smile & say "Pants", which I would try very hard not to smile at. Once he knew what to do & was just disregarding my 'wee wee toilet' directive I no longer said 'never mind, next time' & got a bit more serious. I also started taking him back to his change mat after an accident, just to wipe him down (and remind him of the fact that he doesn't want to be lying on the change mat half the day as he did before PT). Once there, he would ask for the toilet instead. I think that really got through to him.

I thought suggesting he might have to go back into a nappy might encourage him to stay peeing in the toilet as he does like his pirate pants, but he said that woud be fine - just don't think he cares much either way, and I wouldn't if I thought he wasn't quite ready, but I kmow he can do it, just maybe needs a bit more encouragement - will try the marble jar, as he must have had enough stickers to last a lifetime now.

has anything changed at home or in your environment since hes began to have accidents? or has he been ill ?
my lo was initially brill at potty training until she became ill and the accidents started.I just mopped them up like it wasnt a big deal and reminded her next time we go to the toilet.
After her illness passed she went back to no accidents at all!
I do think if you go back to nappies it would be more difficult when you try potty training again,as lo may think if he has a couple of accidents it doesnt matter as youll just go back to nappies again.
My advice is carry on potty training ,keep up the praise when he goes to the toilet and the marble in a jar sounds great too,but maybe set a timer to go off say every 1 and half hrs too 2 hrs and not ask him if he needs the toilet just say confidently and happily "come on its time to go for a wee in the toilet like a big boy !" He will soon pick up on the feeling of needing a wee and he will certainly pick up on your enthusiasm too !
good luck xxx

Ok thanks dip - will try the timer too and see if that helps. Agree with you that going backwards would be a bad idea.

Guess you need to take each day at a time until the good days are more often than the bad.