Help - toddler waking (very) early to use potty

[Ozgal]

Our 22.5 mnth old DD started potty training about 10 weeks ago at 20 mths with support of brilliant nursery and took about 3 weeks to be consistently dry. All was going well with just the odd accident but since early Jan we've had the regression everyone talks about on these forums ie more consistent wetting (never poo) of her knickers, refusal to go to the potty then weeing herself moments later etc etc. This happens when at home and occasionally at nursery (3 days per week) but never when out and about. Anyway, I am working this through and it's to be expected as I am due to have baby 2 soon so whilst it's frustrating (and creates loads of extra washing) I am sure it will pass.

But I wonder if anyone has advice on this part of it - for about the same period of time she has been waking up really early (was sleeping til 6.30/7 and now it's anywhere from 5) saying she wants the potty. We've tried explaining that it's OK to wee in her nappy at nighttime (and she does during the night) but at this waking stage she is determined she wants the potty and when we take her, she does always do a big wee. I feel like I am confusing her by saying you are a big girl and use the potty during the day but weeing in your nappy is OK at night? Any advice welcome as she (and we) are so tired with this early waking as she is then wide awake and won't go back to sleep. And I wonder if I'm making the daytime regression worse by not dealing with the early morning issue as well as I could?

I haven't potty trained 22mo DD so have no first hand experience, but am in awe of you being able to get yours to even acknowledge the potty!

However, I think if your DD is wanting to use the potty instead of her nappy then you should probably be encouraging her to do so. I don't think there's a great deal you can do about the 5am waking - if she needs to wee then, she needs to wee then. I suppose she might be confused, as you suspect.

I assume she's in a cot if she's calling you to get to the potty? Would it help to move her into a bed so that she can get herself up and then use the potty herself, and then play quietly in her room until you get up? DD will sometimes happily wake up at some ridiculous hour and sit and play in her cot for a good couple of hours until we get up or she calls for us.

If the weeing 'regression' continues though, I'd go back to nappies for a bit and restart the whole potty training again in the summer once the baby is here and you've got back into a more settled pattern again - this is my hope with DD (am 28w pregnant myself). I'm of the 'they'll finish with nappies when they're ready' school though, rather than any actual training.

:)

Put her in pulls up instead of a nappy at night then put her a potty in her room i assume she can get out of bed herself, that way when she wakes up she can do a wee herself.

My brother went through regression, my mum took nappies off at night and that solved the day problem he was confused at wearing nappies some of the time, when the night nappy came off he got it maybe you could try that with a pampers bed sheet underneath the sheet?

HTH

thanks - will try the pull ups first and then maybe going without nappy at night. If that fails might need to go back to nappies but really hope not!
good luck with baby flisspaps

And you Ozgal!

Oh have you ever taken her to the loo when she is kinda half asleep/half awake a bit like a dream fed but a dream wee. When you go to bed go into her room rouse her so she is half awake and pop her on the loo or potty, she should wee. This may stop her waking in the morning to wee. Parents of older children who wet the bed sometimes do this.

Have you tried taking her for a wee when you go to bed?

I used to take mine for a wee when I went to bed and it helped.

This stage will pass, it sounds like she's doing well.

Of course: A child's desire to use the potty is inversely proportionally to your desire for them to do so.

Therefore: when you are out shopping she will hold on 'til you find a toilet. When the toilet is next door she can't really be bothered as it's not as exciting as CBeebies.

My best tip for the day would be (and this is hard) - don't ask her if she needs to go. Let her wet herself and don't rush to change her. I DON'T mean you should leave her in wet clothes for long, but even a couple of minutes in soggy leggings is enough to underline the point that wetting yourself is a bit yucky (and is probably only the same as wearing a re-usable nappy) and when you have to change her say 'Oh dear, isn't this boring'.

I don't think you should need to go back to nappies, but give it a week.

Viewofthehills, I think you're onto something - it is possible to get little ones to understand they shouldn't wet themselves, but you have to get them to figure it out for themselves... whenever my newly trained 24mo DS wets, I put him back up on the nappy change table to wipe him down. Not that he really needs it, but he hates it up there - and he starts pleading 'toilet toilet!'.

I'm guilty of asking if he needs to go though. Repeatedly. That's a toughie.

thanks everyone. we had a terrible day today with barely a single wee making it to potty at nursery. But i know it is a stage that will pass and am willing baby 2 to make an appearance so we can help DD face the issue that's really worrying her. Viewofthehills, I will try the stay in wet pants a while tactic too.

Sorry you had such a bad day. I didn't realise baby 2 was so imminent!
Do you think that's partly why she's waking so early!
I hope it sorts out for you, and all the best with your delivery-hope everything goes smoothly.

Hi Ozgal,
I read your post at 3:30am this morning, while desperately trying to find a solution to my own potty-training DD (21 months) wakening in the middle of the night, for the third night running.

It sounds like your daughter is doing brilliantly with the potty-training, and no issue with her wakening up and calling for a wee at 5am, I bet that's just part of the evolution and will get later and later as the days pass - it's just for now the settling back down for some more sleep which is an issue.

It's so hard to get them to try again. I think that's the trick though - you have to lift her for a potty-trip, but she has to go back to bed and know that it's not time to get up yet. Sometimes it works when I make our DD cosy again, blanket, dummy, music on baby monitor like the bedtime routine. A few times I let her howl a bit and she settles within 5 mins. Other times nothing works.

We started potty-training 5 days ago - reluctantly, and with the advice not to go there before 2 years old ringing in my ears. DD was already using the potty at bath-time (I did this with all three of my children in the run-up to 2), asking for the toilet regularly throughout the day. Last Friday morning when she came to breakfast and said ' Mummy, wee-wee, toilet please', I decided to just go for it. She had just 2 accidents in 3 days, and already on day 3 she started to ask to go. So I do think she was ready - but - maybe it's harder pre-2 to emotionally handle it, and she's having a tough time with the night-times. She's not too happy putting a nappy on at bedtime, although settles okay after a couple of minutes. She seems to wake then around 12 with the need to wee, calls out for the toilet, would be distressed if I didn't take her, and empties a full bladder. But last night this keep going until 3am - by which time we were both exhausted, and I was making all the bad parenting decisions (taking her into our bed/putting her back in her cot, taking her to bathroom/telling her she doesn't really need to go as went 10 mins ago).

So my strategy for tonight is to put her in pants and PJs, ditch the nappy, so that she's more comfortable as this is her new status quo. Then, at our bedtime (11pm ish) I'll lift her for a bathroom visit. And if she calls out again between that and morning, I'll deal with it - even if she wets, can't be worse than the 3.5 hour saga of last night.

Mind you, all of this wonderful decision-making is on the back of just 3 hours sleep last night, so feel free to chip in with something more rational...

We are also having the same problem and I can't work out how to fix it. We potty trained our daughter about 3 weeks ago at 25 months and it has gone very well. She seems to be quite unusual and has been interested in her potty and the toilet for some months now and likes sitting on it. In fact some times she sits there for ages when she doesn't need to and I'm sure she is doing it as an excuse to do other things like have her bath.
She started waking almost immediately in the night screaming for the toilet and would insist on using the toilet rather than the potty. We used to take her, put her back to bed and all go back to sleep but now she is just getting out of bed, running to the bathroom and then calling us. She has started waking at 5am and once put back to bed, she just gets up and runs out her room every 15 minutes or so insisting she needs a wee when really she doesn't want to be in bed.

I think perhaps the solution is insisting she uses the potty in her room and lifting her when we go to bed but I don't know how we can backtrack and suddenly say she can't get up anymore to use the toilet. I also know she will have a major tantrum if we insist she use the potty in her room and not the toilet, which to be fair is understandable as we would be changing the goal posts.

I would really appreciate any advice on this as I am quite at a loss what to do And waking up at 5am every morning is not something I want to be doing on a regular basis.

I know this thread is old (maybe a good thing!?) I'm having this exact problem, and now it's years later for you guys, could anyone tell me how you solved it? Going a bit crazy with 5am wake-ups every day, looking for any tactics you used 🙏