DS won't sit on the potty until he's about to burst. Does this matter?

[Brynn]

DS is nearly 3.5. We've had a few stop starts with potty training since he was about 2.7, but this time round I feel we've atually made a bit of progress, with wees at least.

I am positive that DS is fully capable of knowing when he needs to wee and in being able to hold it. In fact, he is bloody brilliant at holding his wee, and that's our problem.

Today, for example, DS did a wee at 9 AM then nothing until nearly 2 PM. He was drinking and eating as normal. I could tell he needed to wee from about lunch time onwards by the way he was jigging about, but I don't prompt him any more as reminders were just leading to battles (DS is the very stubborn sort who loves a battle of wills over anything and everything).

Does it matter that he's waiting so long? He's been doing this for a week now and I don't want him to do himself damage! Is this just a stage some kids go through before they realise it's better to go earlier?

I don't think it's a question of physical damage, but if this goes on for any length of time I think it might become a bad habit with unfortunate consequences. If he is hanging on that long, he is likely to be over-riding his body's natural cues about when to go. This might mean that he remains unreliable by day for longer (and will perhaps by smelly, if he just leaks a few drops so he can carry on holding), and he may remain wet at night.

I suggest you talk to your HV - I wish I had done so when DS2 was that age, rather than waiting and expecting everything to sort itself out over time. The key bit of advice for us was to go back to telling him to go regularly (and to go every break time, whether he felt he needed to or not).

My DD1 will put off going especially if she is doing something. She holds her crotch but does eventually go. I don't think it dies any harm as long as they go eventually and empty the bladder completely

My DD2 is 4 and is exactly the same!
She only wee's about twice or 3 times a day - she dances around a bit before and then suddenly stops and says 'I need a wee!!' and if you listen to her, she barely manages to pull her pants down before shes started weeing!
Shes not had any accidents since potty training though, shes been brilliant - so I cant complain, and definitely not done her any damage!
With my DD, I think its that she doesn't want to miss out on whats going on downstairs - she can go up, wee, flush and wash and be back down within about 15 seconds!
Does cause a bit of a problem if we're out - because when she says she needs a wee... she needs one now !

Thanks everyone. So physical damage is unlikely at least - good! That's something.

I have tried the odd reminder, but it's always met with a very cross and entirely OTT "NOOOOOOOOOOOO" (whilst hopping about with one hand on his crotch).

What I am beginning to suspect is that DS doesn't like using the potty when he's wearing trousers, because he can't take them off by himself without getting into a bit of a flap. I saw him hopping about this evening, so I tested the theory by telling him I needed to take his trousers off because they were dirty. As soon as they were removed, he ran straight off to his potty and did a wee.

What to do about that though? I can't send him to pre-school in just pants! I put him in jogging bottoms all the time, so they ought to be easy to take down by himself, he just doesn't seem to like doing it.