It's been over a week. Why aren't we done yet?

[BlackSwan]

I was under the mistaken impression that toilet training took around a week.

DS, 2, has only told me a handful of times that he needs the toilet. He sometimes doesn't mind being taken to the toilet, other times says he doesn't need it, even when he obviously does. If he doesn't want to go to the toilet
(starts pushing the door shut on approach) I say, that's fine - we won't go. Sometimes he's perfectly relaxed about it. When we're out - he uses a travel potty when asked to go. We're still having one or two accidents a day. Today, one big wee, a tiny poo and a tiny wee (sorry tmi). He has definitely gotten a lot better at holding it in.

He errs on the side of defiance with most things & seems completely bored by my potty books and beyond over being asked if he needs to go. I could stop asking completely. Is that the next step? But what happens if we're about to go out? Do I just walk out the door without ushering him to the loo first? I don't want to make matters worse.

incidentally, he never has accidents out of he house, only in. Possibly because for some reason he's more open to going when prompted when we're out.

A week!?
My DD1 took about a year. I started at about age 2, as she needed to be dry for playgroup. She just wasn't ready and I think it caused all sorts of problems.
DD2 was much easier, but certainly more than a week!

You're right of course LargeWine, I realised after posting that I might just be expecting too much too soon. I will try to be more chilled.

It's an on going thing.
Some children do get it quickly, but most take a long time to get completely independent.
You will move forward, then take steps back and it will be frustrating.

But try and stay relaxed, accept that there will be accidents and just go with it.

Thanks Kwazii!

DD (3 3/4) still isn't there after 11 months...

When they are ready it takes about a week but they are all different. I would suggest if it is over 2 months then give it up for a bit, slap em back in nappies and wait for the nicer weather so they can run around nakid at home!

largewine it's discriminatory to insist a child is dry for any Early Years establshment, under OFSTED guidelines they have to have nappy changing facilities. it makes me so when I hear of parents (& DC) being pressured like this.

It's unreasonable to try & train a child if they aren't physically ready.Until you get to the stage where you notice DC has long periods of dry nappies when you check, then all of a sudden has a HUGE down to the knees nappy then you are setting yourselves up to fail. They have to have the ability to retain the urine for a period of time.

If you were a late developer then your DC has a 25% chance of being older getting dry, if both parents were later then you have over 50% chance and you might as well give up & wait till they're older, saves a lot of stress.

As my old mum used to say you don't see them crawling through the school gates with nappy bag over their shoulder!

Thanks bossybritches. He has really come a long way in the short time we have been training. But I will see where things stand at the end of a couple of months. He is going a few hours now between wetting. He doesn't do full on accidental wees in pants now either. Just a little, then we rush to the bathroom. Mind you, right before bed he did a huge poo in pants! DH's watch of course. Had to re-bathe him. I asked him where he should poo, and he says 'only in toilet', but it's not quite sunk in.

What do you mean by physically ready? I think if anything he's not mentally ready. Though I started training him at this age because he was going to the toilet, wanting to get on, and do a wee. Which he did 3-4 times in a few days.

They seem to have an understanding of the concept of doing wees & poos & can often tell when they are doing it or about to have an accident, but not neccessarily the muscular control to hang on & time it for when they can get to a loo.

I reckon it's about a 6 month developmental difference between the two stages.

We do all get so worried/pressured about getting them dry by or around 2 whereas of you left the nappy on much later you'd do better as they'd be ready.