AIBU to think I have found The Key to quick and successful Potty training?

[YouCanDoItYesYouCan]

Let me just say this is tongue in cheek! My DD is not quite 3yo, and she's my only one (so far). So I know that it's the least stressful situation in which to do potty training.

I had been getting quite stressed about potty training because everyone around me seems to get started when their DC are just about 2, sometimes even younger, but they all keep complaining about how their DC take ages to get it, going back to nappies etc. My mum seemed to think we were just about done with potty training when we were 3 or so.

I was hugely worried about catching the bus (don't drive), ever being able to leave the house to go shopping again etc. It was becoming this huge insurmountable thing in my head and I just didn't know how to do it so DD would stay relaxed.

Her nursery started putting some gentle pressure on - putting her on the potty, asking for non-pop up vests, making a big point about how she put a wee in the potty every time I picked her up. Tbh, I thought they were taking a bit too much initiative and should leave it up to me as her mother.

I knew we would have 2 fairly relaxed weeks over Christmas, so that would be The Moment to begin our potty training adventure, with no pressure to go anywhere.

And - DD had 3 accidents at the very beginning ... and that was it. Within 4 days she was able to go up to 2 hours between toilet visits, and we have been able to go out, even on the bus with absolutely no problems, she even naps with no nappy on. (Nighttime nappy-lessness though - can't hear you, lalala...)

In conclusion, I think The Solution is to

1. buy a potty not too early, but not very late either. Talk about potty, wees and poos a lot. Have fun with it, encourage use of it for entertainment purposes, absolutely no pressure
2. When it's obvious when DC is about to do a poo, or mentions having just done a wee (i.e. you have developed awareness and DC shows awareness), pick a time with no commitments outside the house to do the final stage of potty training once DC seems to understand the concept of using the potty
3. do a complete daytime nappies cold turkey
4. Lots of praise, big girl/boy etc

What I have realised: potty training is not about training the child. It's about training the parent to be aware of the child's needs and to factor them into the daily routine and activities, creating a space which gives the child opportunities to act according to their needs.

Deep or what?

I used smarties :o

"What I have realised: potty training is not about training the child. It's about training the parent to be aware of the child's needs and to factor them into the daily routine and activities, creating a space which gives the child opportunities to act according to their needs."

I disagree with you. I think that once a child is truely trained they take responsiblity for their bladder. My daughter does not have a toileting routine, she goes when she chooses. They learn to fit using the toilet into everyday life. In particular a child should never be forced to use the toilet, even if they are about to go on a long journery and you know the result will be wet pants. It is fine to suggest to your child they do a wee, but if they say "no" then accept their decision.

I think that potty training goes wrong when the parents give too many reminders. If children are taken to the potty too often they never experience a full bladder. Having to hold a full bladder make the muscles stronger. The child also learns the need to antisipiate and realises they have to go as soon as they feel the need and not get too engrossed in a game.

However the age a child potty trains is a personal decision. There are lots of ways of training a child. Different methods suit different families. It sounds like the nursery did a fair bit of the ground work for you by introducing the potty.

I think its important to respect a child's indivdual developmental timetable. Children vary considerably when they are ready.

I actually squatted and did a wee in a potty the other day to show my son what was what

recall That's dedication! What did he make of it?

reallytired Thank you, that's a really helpful and interesting explanation. Although you say you disagree with me, I think I agree with you. Most of my parenting has been about going along with DD's cues, and the part of my post which you quoted is meant in that way. It's less about a routine and more about watching DD and not pushing her to conform with my timetable. What I meant was - rather than forcing her to sit on the toilet, I'm adjusting my expectations (or trying to!), so if she doesn't want to have a wee, I make sure we have spare pants and the travel potty.

Totally agree that nursery have done a lot of the groundwork, but while it has been immensely useful, I just wish they had let me do it.

You can't rush night time dryness. It all depends on a hormone being released that tells the bladder to stop producing urine at night - or something like that!

I let dds play with their potty, it was hanging around months before they needing it, just to introduce familiarity (of course once used, they weren't allowed to "play' with it i.e sitting dolls on it, wearing it on their heads) . I didn't use sweets, but I did use a reward chart that gave them a sticker for trying, going, wiping, washing hands etc. Which they both LOVED & was a roaring success!

I disagree too that it is about training the parent. Dd1 self trained 2 weeks after her 2nd birthday & dd2 took ages, both were given the same amount of attention as each other. DD1 just took to it better than dd2. The only time I 'force' the issue of using the toilet is before bed, with dd2. As she is new out of nappies at night & I hate having to get up & bath/change her bed when she wees.