Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Flip

Original poster

DS just not ready? Or should I be pushing him?

18 replies

MegumiEto · 04/01/2012 13:02

My DS is bright but very very stubborn, and every attempt at potty training has been met with refusal and tantrums. He's 3.5 and obviously knows when he's going to poo, but only sometimes wee.

However, he will not sit on the loo or potty. Just won't. Goes stiff, stands up, screams and fights if held there.

Fighting him every step of the way just isn't what I want. He doesn't care about stickers or rewards either, so bribery hasn't worked. I put him in pants and he wets them and hates it, then feels like he's going to go after that and freaks out but won't attempt the loo.

I tried pull ups this morning but he went crazy, screaming and kicking me even though he had never tried them. He just wants a nappy.

The problem is he is starting school in Sept and he has to be dry by then. Should I just leave him or carry on fighting him? I'm worried I'll make it worse for him.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Nevercan · 04/01/2012 13:35

Has he taken any interest In following you to the loo and copying you flushing etc.?

Original poster

MegumiEto · 04/01/2012 20:23

Yes, he has seen it all and been interested. He's fine talking about in theory and says next time he will try it, but when it comes to it, he won't.

Any advice? Thank you x

OP posts:

BlackSwan · 04/01/2012 20:34

My DS is younger (2) but in the course of our first attempt at potty training I hit an unexpected hurdle - he doesn't want to put pants on, he wants the nappy back (I'm keeping him in nappies at night). But after reading advice that said to just the pants on regardless, I have done. He has gotten over it pretty quickly...(ok once I bribed him), and I give him cuddles and reassurance that he will be fine. I feel bad for him, but at the same time think I have to push him a little to help him get to where he needs to be. The subsequent 8-10 pairs of pants through the day don't get any opposition, just the first ones, when I take the nappy off.

I seriously hope we make it home & dry this time round, I think he's just going to get more obstinate with time. Please tell me it's plain sailing with kids after potty training is done.

BlackSwan · 04/01/2012 20:34

put the pants on them, I meant - even if they protest a lot...

WowOoo · 04/01/2012 20:39

I let ds1 train himself when he was ready...in the holidays before he started pre-school.

For me, leaving it as late as possible was fab. He understood, he'd practised a lot, he'd seen me, we'd read loads of books about it, he was bored of nappies and wanted to be a big boy etc. Very few accidents, no stress or arguments.

Seems ds2 is going to be the same, so I'm always interested to hear how it goes for younger boys. Maybe I'm just lazy.

maybenow · 04/01/2012 20:48

september is a long way away and these things are always easier in the summer when it's warm and he might not want the nappy on at all... i'd wait.

ceebeegeebies · 04/01/2012 20:54

He sounds like my DS2 - although he will actually sit on the potty, he is stubbornly refusing to do anything on it - and then weeing on the sofa/in his pants/in the bath within minutes which does say to me that he is deliberately holding it in.

No advice as I am a bit stumped about what to do with him (DS1 pretty much just got it with no accidents). We did try half-heartedly at the weekend but I may try again this weekend with a bit more focus.

You are not alone

Nevercan · 04/01/2012 21:37

I encouraged mine by saying that 'friend x' goes on the big toilet so would you like to do it. I also used to encourage her to copy a friend who did when we went round

ceebeegeebies · 04/01/2012 22:02

I have tried that tactic but he just tells me he will do it 'later' or 'tomorrow' but of course that never comes

Shodan · 04/01/2012 22:23

If it's any comfort, I had similar problems with ds2, though he was a little younger. In the end I gave up trying for a while and decided to try again in the summer. As it happened I didn't get around to it before we went away on holiday.

Ds2 was happily running around nekkid one day when I noticed him go to the kitchen cupboard, pull out a saucer and run off with it. Curious, I follwed him- he took it out to the balcony, squatted carefully over it and peed. Thereafter he just took himself to the loo when he needed to. (I did replace the saucer with a new one, btw!)

Sometimes the little buggers darlings are stubborn and will just do it in their own time, I think. The harder you try, the harder they push against you. Definitely summer is a better time to try again, if you can bear waiting.

(Incidentally he did a similar thing with nighttime nappies- just decided one night that he wasn't going to wear one anymore. He was 3.10 by then)

DioneTheDiabolist · 04/01/2012 22:37

You have limited time, so use it wisely. Stop fighting with DS now. Go back to nappies and don't mention potty for the next 3 or 4 weeks, but leave it where it normally is. After this time, introduce potty training in story books. Then try the transfer to pants again. Play the whole thing down.

Easier said than done I know, especially when family and friends all have an opinion, but this has become a battle and you are not winning. Give it a rest for a while. Remember, we all end up potty trained in the end, so try not to worry too much. It may be worth making an appointment with your HV (without DS) if you are still worried.

stormyseason · 08/01/2012 09:01

OP, I came on here to write something pretty much exactly the same as you. DS who is 3 and a half just isn't interested. So much that he pee'd all over the changing room floor at swimming yesterday.

Original poster

MegumiEto · 11/01/2012 20:11

Thanks all for your advice and sympathy. Really didn't anticipate him not wanting to learn, good to hear I am not alone.

Read on another thread about a.box of sparkly desirables, might try a DS friendly version of that. He doesn't care about sweets or sticker charts but the lure of a box of delights may get him!

OP posts:

PattiMayor · 11/01/2012 20:17

I would just put him back in nappies and smile. September is ages away. Honestly potty training is easy as pie if you leave them to decide. I had a few weeks of hell with DS and gave up and put him back in nappies. Suddenly he decided he didn't want to wear them any more and he was dry within 48 hours. Entirely stress-free.

It's EIGHT months until September - that's 1/5 of his whole life! (just to put it in perspective :) )

Original poster

MegumiEto · 11/01/2012 20:26

Thanks, that's very tempting. He's had quite a stressful year really, moved house twice, had a new brother and started preschool. Don't really want to pile more on him.

OP posts:

KinkyDorito · 12/01/2012 10:21

Thanks for this. I'm starting to get twitchy about DS's complete lack of interest and refusal to be without his nappy. He is 3.1, but not budging. I fear it will be some time yet. I will try to relax a bit!

tigersmummy · 12/01/2012 10:32

I would leave him for the time being. I have just potty trained DS (3.11) on the third attempt and this time it just clicked. Twice before was a battle of wills with him refusing to use the potty, even sitting on it brought on monsterous rages. The more you push, the more they resist and then the stress piles on you both. Good luck when it does happen!

PETRONELLAS · 13/01/2012 14:50

I have been puked on by my hysterical DS on day 1 of the journey, and came here for some hope. I love you all. Thank you.

Flip