Betwetting

[12bec345]

My daughter turned 5 in october. At this point I decided to take her pull ups off over night. I lift her out about 10pm for a wee, but she it still wet every morning. Just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere.
I split with her dad earlier this year and we've always moved around quite a lot, but now everything's more stable I thought I should just persevere and with her being at school now. Also her Dad is refusing to have her overnight until she's dry so I'm feeling the pressure.
Any hints or tips, please help x

If you lift her and she is still wet by morning I think she isn't ready. Keep on with the pull-ups and wait. I don't think lifting will help either. I hope DD isn't aware that her dad won't have her to stay overnight because she wets at night, poor little love, as if she hasn't enough stress in her life right now. Why can't he have her stay but wear a pull-up if he can't handle wet bedding? Sounds like an excuse to me not to bother with anything that he would have left to you if you'd been together still. He is probably ignorant of the fact that night wetting is not controlled consiously, as when a child is trained during the day and aware.

Everything might seem more stable now, but she has just started school and it can take a while to settle. It's hard to tell whether DD is wetting through anxiety or just because she isn't physically ready, but I don't think she is ready. She needs to be making a hormone that regulates urine production, this can be at any age between 2 and 10. Doctors won't do anything about wetting until after a child is 7. Once a child is producing this hormone, the urine production slows during sleep, and the full bladder sends signals to the brain which hopefully wake the child to go and wee.

Tell her dad all the above, and tell him he isn't helping his dd with his attitude, and you won't be bullied into pushing her to do something which, at present, is beyond her control. Plus no one can guarantee she will be dry consistently even when she is dry at night. Insecurity, illness, growth spurts, and overtiredness can all cause wetting. What will he do if she is sick in the bed during the night, will he blame her for that too? I think she would be better off just seeing her dad during the day, at least for the next few months.

As DD won't be going to stay overnight at dads, he can pay you extra maintenance to help with the cost of the pull-ups.

Thanks for all that. Its put my mind at ease and you make a lot of sense.
Much appreciated, will have a chat with her in the morning.

Having a newly 5 year old DS of my own, I have had a good look into this. And it is actually normal for kids still not to be dry at 5 - there are 2 things that take place in order for kids to be able to stay dry over night, one is start of production of a hormone, that basically means that the bladder doesn't make much urine so that they don't need to wee as much as during the day, and the other is the bladders nerve connections grow stronger so that the child actually wakes up and is aware if they are needing to go to the toilet.

My DS is the youngest of 3 and the other 2 were out of night nappies pull ups by 3 or there about.

I am guessing if you just relax about it and leave her in her pull ups, and don't stress about it then things will sort themselves out.

I totally agree that DD's should be happy to take his DD dry at night or not - wither she is in pull ups or not.

I make my DS be responsible for his own pull up, in that he checks the picture on the front if there is any doubt it is dry, in which case he puts it in the bathroom for the night time, and if it is wet he puts it in our nappy bin. It means that we get the chance to praise him if he is dry, or say oh well never mind if he is wet.

DD stayed at her paternal Grandmas last night. When she came back i had a chat with her and we've decided to go back to pull ups for the time being. However she did tell me that her grandma made her wear a nappy last night, a proper baby one with velcro!!! She said it was horrid but wouldn't have minded if it was a pull up!!! I'm fuming, its like she's being punished for wetting last time she was there and being treated like a baby!!! I've reassured her that she won't have to stay there for a while and next time she goes i'll put a pull up in her bag.

Professionals advise against lifting a child during the night and there is little you can do at this age, need to wait until the child is ready as previous poster says without causing stress. Although drinking lots of water earlier in the day and stopping within 2 hours of bedtime is recommended and also ensuring she is not constipated as bedwetting can be a symptom.

What are the reasons not to lift a child?

Isthat a joke - hope someone medical can answer your query.

We have been told this by all professionals but I am not sure of the exact reason. I presumed it was just that their bladder was not ready to last the night so when you stopped lifting they would not last the night so better to address by other means such as drinking more in the day and cutting out drink at bedtime etc so they get their own control and can then manage cub camp/sleepovers themselves without lifting?

I was told by the school nurse that lifting a child who is half asleep is no better than letting them wee while asleep in bed, because some aren't fully conscious of what they're doing. She said that if you wanted to, you should wake the child fully and get them to walk to the loo, so that they are awake while weeing. I don't know whether this then becomes a habit that they will wake themselves at the same time and go to the loo each night and then be able to last until morning.

I think it is best to let the DC become dry in their own time.