Help please! For dd aged 5.5

[warthog]

I don't know what to do.

My dd is 5.5 and has wet panties every day. Her clothes smell after a day of school and I wash her clothes frequently (every day). I'm worried her classmates will notice and tease her about it.

From what I can understand (she's not very forthright with info) she doesn't realise she needs to go until she has an accident.

It doesn't seem so bad in the holidays as I suspect part of it is that she doesn't like going to the loo. But she'll still has accidents.

What can I do to help her? I've told her to go every time there's a break even if she thinks she doesn't need to. I've tried giving her treats if she could keep her panties dry the whole day but she can't seem to so I stopped. I don't want her to feel bad about it but at the same time we need to get this sorted! I don't like her to go on playdates because I don't think she'll go to the loo.

HELP please!

I'm afraid I've no advice, but am in a slightly similar situation
dd1 started school in Sept and loves it. Since half term though her knickers have been a bit wet most days. Basically she is leaving it until she's desperate until she goes, and often a small amount of urine leaks out. At home she is a little better.

we have this week embarked on the reward chart route (wet pants 2 : rewards 0 ), and have even sent in wipes and spare pants, but broadly dd1 does not appear to give a fig.

I hope someone can give some advice for us both...

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First, check possible physical causes. Has DD got a urine infection which can cause urgency and leakage. Next, is she constipated, which can mess up the signals from the full bladder. Given her reluctance to go to the toilet at all, I'd say both are possible from all the withholding.

Then examine emotional causes. Perhaps she is put off the school loos because they are dirty and smelly. Or she is afraid to ask the teacher, or she simply won't go in case she misses something. It could be because a classmate has embarrassed her while in the toilet, shoving the door open or something like that, or being horrible to her so that she steers clear of them in case it happens again. Or it could be down to an actual toilet phobia, especially as DD seems to avoid the toilet at home too. But sometimes wetting can be as a result of insecurity, starting school can be overwhelming for some DC and even good toilet habits can suffer.

thanks girlywhirly. i do think there is an element of yucky school toilets. she's in year 1 now, and well settled so don't think it's stress. i might have a word with the teacher which i've avoided by now because she's a bit of a battleaxe.

suckitandsee, sorry you're going through the same thing. it's worrying as it's been going on with us for ages. it's been highlighted by the fact that dd2 has potty trained with no issues at all, never has accidents and never wets her pants.

Another thing I forgot to mention, can you talk to the school nurse about it, they are usually quite helpful, even about bedwetting and stuff so you may get some helpful advice. Plus, if you think the teacher is a battleaxe, how does she appear to DD, who might well be too afraid to ask to go to the toilet.

very good points. i don't know how to get hold of the nurse, but will look into it.

Hi Warthog - was wondering if you've had any improvements yet ?
My dd is exactly the same and I am at a total loss.

Frequent pant wetting - says she didn't feel it coming, but I often see her jigging up and down and when I ask her if she needs the loo, she says not. Because of this, I think it could be a pyschological thing with her. Have tried reward charts to no avail - and I don't want her to feel worse about it than I think she does already but highlighting daily failure.
Shes never wet the bed at night so I know she has the control and in the past has had months of dry knickers ( and I secretly punch the air and believe we have cracked it) only to regess again.
She often smells at the end of the day poor lamb but I don't think its a fear of the toilets either.

Any further advice would be very gratefully received !

I would phone one of the people at ERIC (the charity). If you google, they have a helpline and I think they are very helpful. Good luck!