Please can someone reassure me that we will get there?

[Biscuitsandtea]

Hi,

I could do with a success story or two to cheer me up!

DS is 3.1 and we started potty training about 3 weeks ago. He seemed to get the general hang of the wees within a couple of days, with obviously still some accidents. Poos took a few days more but within a week he had pretty much got both of them.

For the last two weeks we're still having more days with accidents than without but I was hopeful it was gothis'll.

However, this weekend is just going terribly. . I know DS can do it. Especially with bladder control. Sometimes with wees he can hold on for really long times if we're out - I mean not hours, but you know, time to find a loo etc.

Yesterday though he had a little accident but seemed to stop. I found him in the living room, pants down but not doing anything about it. He just said he'd had an accident so I put him in the toilet and he did another big wee so must have stopped mid accident. So I thought that wasn't too bad, although not ideal.

But today, he has had 3 wee accidents, no successes . He did do a poo on the loo, oh and actually he did one wee on the loo when DH got him up (we always put him on the loo when he gets up). But since then, three accidents . As a general rule, for the last 2 weeks he hasn't had more than 2 accidents a day and has probably averaged one accident levers other day, so this is not a good tally today.

I guess what I want really is for someone to tell me that we will get there eventually. I feel so despondent about it today. (particularly because he's managed to locate all 3 accidents on carpet rather than the wooden floors which are in most places in the house ).

Is there something else I should be doing? Or something I'm doing wrong? I'm feeling very down about it all today and feeling a bit rubbish and as if I'll never get it sorted.

Please help me!

Sorry, 'gothis'll' should say 'going ok'

And 'one accident every levers day ' should be 'one accident every 'other' day.

Sorry - doing the first post of a thread on this app means it never lets me scroll back through to proof read it before I post!

Make that 4 wee accidents and no successes bar when DH put him on the loo this morning

[where's the emoticon for weeping?]

He says he just didn't feel it coming, but how can that be when he's been doing fine overall up until now?

No one?

Now I feel even er

I'd be tempted to have a potty very close by wherever he is playing, so that it can be accessed immediately. He might be being lazy and not want to trek to the loo when he's engrossed in an activity, especially if he has to go upstairs or right through to a downstairs bathroom. He might be afraid to use the loo. I realise this is not ideal and you need to empty it etc, but surely if it gets used rather than your carpet, it's progress? Also keep a close eye out for jiggling or dancing about that means he needs the pot/loo and encourage him to use it.

The other thing is, he may well be reacting to your stress about the whole training thing, the constant carpet cleaning, your perceived failure to train him etc. It will get better in time, really.

You could try a reward chart or sweetie bribes for successes and clean pants. You could take him to the toilet/pot at specific times during the day, so that at least you stand a chance of some successes to reward. You could get him to mop up his accidents (under supervision) and change his clothes himself, putting soiled items in the wash. This might focus his mind a bit more, as he will have to stop playing/watching TV or DVD until all these tasks are completed. He will eventually realise that using the pot is quicker and he doesn't have to forgo his activities, plus he gets praise and rewards from you. Of course, you need to tell DS in advance what your plan is so that he knows what the consequences of his actions will be. And you must retain zen-like calm when accidents occur, no shouting or telling off, just remark "that's a shame, well, time to clean up and change" and turn off TV until it's all done. It doesn't go back on until he's cleaned up. Same with refusal to go to the pot/loo at the required times, obviously you can't force him to sit, but you can remove the distractions temporarily until he has tried.

Thanks girly

To be honest we have had a potty for him to access easily, and he had been doing fine with it all. I mean he was having plenty of warning about it all up until yesterday and was doing pretty well. He wasn't even doing anything that exciting when the accidents happened yesterday. It was just a shock to go from mostly getting it in the potty or toilet (both of which are easily accessible for him) to having NO successes. Especially when he had been taking himself with no prompting

I think I could work a bit on my zen like calm - I've never shouted or got properly cross, but I probably did sound quite exasperated yesterday! I think maybe I might get him to help with the mopping up, especially if it is on the wooden floors. And I will look into doing some sticker rewards I think. I might do something like a reward every time he gets 5 stickers to keep him focussed.

I am feeling more calm about it today (possibly because he's at nursery so they're doing the mopping up!).

Right, i'm off to look for a sticker chart - thanks for your response - it's put things in perspective for me

biscuits I think he's lost interest - he can do it, but can't see why he should any more...time for stickers, or chocs, I say (dd has been told that when she can use toilet at home and at nursery we'll get her new shoes...to replace the ones with wee on!)

I've ordered a sticker chart to try and put the pizazz back in our relationship with the toilet!

Hope it works (and turns up quickly!). Might need to improvise in the meantime....

Oh and I know what you mean about the shoes! . I did say to DH 'remind me not to keep these shoes when he grows out of them!'

Well, the going back to basics, i.e. taking him to the loo rather than relying on him to take himself when he needs to is because essentially he has gone backwards. Also you need to have a few successes to start your rewards scheme with, and they will be few and far between if you just leave him to his own devices.

I think eventually he will decide that going to the loo is the easy option if he has to mop up often!

I think you're right - so we'll see how he's got on today at nursery. I did warn them what had happened so she said they'd keep an extra eye on it all (whether they do or not???)

Other than that, the sticker charts are their way, and we'll try and get some star stickers tomorrow to be going on with until the super dinosaur ones arrive.

And I'll just have to keep trying him I guess.

Am still desperately hoping for a birthday miracle that he's back on form today and yesterday was a one off....

Sometimes children can be very single minded. I stressed big time about my eldest. He had accidents all through his year in nursery and turned four last May. Also had lots of accidents over the summer and I was worried about him starting school having accidents. Then one day in the summer he told me that he would not have any more accidents once he started school......and guess what???? just two small accidents in school in eight weeks!

I've decided not to stress about my second. I think I've learnt that children will do these things when they are good and ready. Forget the books and the advice, just hang in there and when they are ready to do it you'll know.

He will get there, I promise!