So how does potty training work?! I'm completely lost!

[NomNomNom]

Right, DD is 31 months old and her nursery have been pushing potty training a bit. She'll happily sit on the toilet when she's there, but quite often refuses at home. She has started being uncomfortable when she's had a big wee or a poo, and I can tell when she's about to do a poo, but with wee I have no idea. When I'm quick enough I can whip her trousers off quickly enough to plonk her on the toilet, but more often than not this doesn't quite work.

So, how do we start potty training properly? I'd be quite keen to avoid reward charts I think.

A few questions that I just can't understand:

We have to catch the bus to nursery every day, this takes between 30-45 minutes. Should I put her in a nappy for this at the beginning? Should I get one of those seat protector thingies for the buggy? What if she wets herself on the way - do I change her clothes on the bus/at the bus stop in full view of everyone? This could get quite cold in the winter.

What about training pants (cloth ones)? Are they a must? How many are necessary? Or should she just go straight from disposable nappies to proper knickers?

Should I just wait until Christmas when she'll be home for 2 weeks (she'll be 2yrs 9 months then)? Or is that too old to be socially acceptable?

Aaah, I'm so confused about the sorting stuff out side of this.

I should probably add that I'd be happy to wait a bit longer, I'm in no rush. I just don't want her to be seen by other parents as 'that child who was in nappies until 15', plus nursery seem exceedingly keen (bit annoying, IMO they should wait for me to give the go ahead, but obviously they always know better, though that's probably a different thread!).

She seems to be giving some signals that she might be ready if I gently pushed her a little bit.

I've only potty trained DS1, so by far from an expert but thought I'd post!
We basically went for it, went from nappies to pants one day, no grey areas, just pants (other than for sleeps). Explained it all to DS1 and we did the whole chocolate button every time he got a wee or poo in the potty! I waited until we had a week where we didn't really have to go anywhere. The first day he was weeing every 15 minutes, so I think it is worth being at home for the first few days if you can. I'd avoid being out on a bus for the first few days if you can, but that's just me.

I definitely don't think 2years 9 months is too old whatsoever. Any threads I've seen say to wait until the child is ready and it's much easier later than earlier. DS1 was 2 years and 11 months when we started.

I also read lots of praise when they manage it, but just 'oh dear, wee wee needs to go in the potty' when they don't manage it.

Good luck!

Make sure you start when you want to. You are her mum and the nursery should respect that I would think.

For us ds2 was a week off his 3rd birthday. I never potty trained him, he did it himself. He had nice pants and wanted to wear them. I said he can but he must put his wees in toilet (he already put poos there) so on Xmas eve he decided no more nappies. Less that 5 accidents since. I am very glad we did it when he was ready and wanted too, made it a non issue xx

DD1 was 31 months when we trained her. She was in nursery 3 days a week, so we started training her on her first day off and had four days for her to get used to it. The first day she was weeing constantly, second day still a lot of accidents, but by the time she went back to nursery on day 5 she was doing really well and only had one accident.

I woud wait until you can have a few days at home with your DD, but possibly not Christmas- or at least not until after Christmas when the excitement has worn off a bit!

I would recommend the Gina Ford potty training in a week book (I'm not normally a Gina Ford fan but the advice in this book really worked for us). Basically it advises going straight to knickers. It says not to use pull-ups except for sleep, but personally I would use them for the journeys to nursery in the first couple of weeks, unless she has done well and you're confident that they won't be needed.

Thanks all! That is really helpful!

I'm a bit scared of taking the plunge! Christmas will be the only time DD has any time off nursery until Easter, but as family are all very far away it'll be a fairly calm time I reckon.

So the consensus is to go straight to big girl pants?

I must say I'm a bit scared. (But fed up with buying nappies!)

Don't be scared or she'll pick up on it.
I think the best approach is to just be very encouraging and matter of fact. I was surprised at how little wee there is initially (I was imagining huge puddles), but how frequently they do wee (I guess they've never had to 'hold it in' before, so it takes a few days for them to work out how to use those muscles). Towels on the settees, potty in the living room, keep putting her on the potty and lots of praise (I'm talking over the top whoops for joy!) when she gets it, but no criticism, just matter of fact ("we wee wee in the potty now, not in your pants") when it doesn't.

You'll be fine - go for it (and if it doesn't work after a few days and you are seeing no progress whatsoever, put her back in nappies and try again in a couple of months).
Oh another tip - don't have the MIL visit on your first trip out with the helpful comment of 'maybe it might have been an idea to put him in pull ups for the first visit out' when DS was having a meltdown as he didn't want to wee in a public toilet (he got over that quickly!) and I'd given him a fear of the potette as I hadn't 'fixed' it properly, so it collapsed underneath him the first time I tried it!
Expect the worst, hope for the best!
You'll be fine - go for it!!
Get out - all of the above is based on my experience of just my eldest DS!

Thank you for the encouragement! Def no MIL visit planned anytime soon!

Is a Potette worth the investment? They look kind of useful.

i would definitely wait til xmas and do it when you know you have a block of time at home, it'll be much easier.

i never bothered with potties, went straight to using the toilet, and yes straight to pants (pullups at night).

ds1 got it in less than 48 hours. ds2 was a disaster for the first week, every single wee went on the floor, then it clicked and he was absolutely confident by end of 2nd week.

I found it useful to leave them naked from the waist down as much as possible because it makes them more aware of what's going on. Our kids liked being naked anyway.
I wouldn't make a huge issue about big girl pants if you're not completely sure she is ready. I have a few friends who got ended up with kids who refused to go back to nappies because pants had such a big buildup.

Thanks, it's good to know I'm not unreasonable to wait until Christmas. Nursery told me again today how DD put a big wee in the potty hinthintnudgenudge.
I just think it'll be much easier to have no pressure to catch the bus etc.