6.11 DS sometimes dry sometimes wet at night, dry if thinks it's important, why not every night?!

[MorePudding]

DS 6.11 started having some dry nights about 1 1/2 yrs ago so we took him out of pyjama pants. He has had some longish stretches of dryness (a month or two?) here and there, but the general pattern has been patchy. He will be dry for, say, 3 nights then wet for maybe 2 nights, pretty random and no discernible pattern relating to fluids/tiredness/starting school/etc. The frustrating thing is that if there is an important reason for him to be dry, like going on holiday early the next morning, then he will be dry! We've tried explaining/talking to him, reward charts, gentle encouragement, straight talking, not saying anything, even tried a neuro-linguistic(?) recording! We're at our wits end what to do as we really feel that he can be dry! Has anyone had any similar experiences? Any advice would be very gratefully received! Thanks.

I would say that going on holiday early the next morning is not the best indication of him choosing to be dry, as chances are he will get up earlier and have been asleep for less time. Is the wetting pattern similar on holiday, or when sleeping anywhere else, because if he is dry and the only time he's wet is at home, I'd be looking a bit more closely at his routine and habits. I am also wondering if the wetting occurs just before he wakes.

What happens in the morning, does he have to change the bedding himself? Because if you do it for him there is no incentive really to stay dry, because someone always cleans up for him. I think at nearly 7 he is quite capable of removing the wet bedding and pyjamas and putting them in the laundry. He can also re-make the bed for himself, which concentrates the mind wonderfully when he could be doing something else with the time. If it really is laziness I think he will soon stop making work for himself, as he realises that actions have consequences.

Another thing is not necessarily quantity of liquid, but the type of drinks he has. Fizzy drinks, even fizzy water can cause wetting, and certainly cola and hot chocolate (contain caffeine) can as well; also blackcurrant cordial, and in some individuals, milk. Enuresis clinics often advise fizzy drinks not later than lunchtime, and no milk after teatime, so no warm milk at bedtime. It seems that these drinks can cause bladder irritability in some DC. If thirsty, plain water after tea. No well hydrated child should need drinks during the night unless the weather is extremely hot. Obviously, on hot nights the child sweats, so will not have such a full bladder.

Something that is often overlooked is getting the child to go to the loo before they go to sleep, not just when they get into bed. In older children, the gap could be an hour or more, especially if they read in bed. This extra wee before sleep could make the difference between a wet or dry bed next morning.

You could seek advice from the GP when he is 7 if you have tried all the above and he is still wetting.

Thanks so much for your reply and suggestions. Re drinks, he has a weak chocolate milkshake after school (3.30pm) then water with tea and nothing after about 5.30pm. I'll try switching to plain milk rather than chocolate in case that's having an effect. Also will make sure he definitely has a wee after reading in bed. Although having said that, he sometimes does and is still wet at night. At the moment, when he wakes in the night (can be any time) he will sort himself out (puts wet stuff in shower and puts dry towel over wet sheets and gets dry duvet). But in the morning I strip the bed, put it in the washing machine and make the bed. However, you're absolutely right that at nearly 7 he should be able to do this! So, I will be getting him to do this from now on and it will be very interesting to see if this helps! Thanks again.

I don't think the choc milkshake at 3 30pm is at fault, if it was a hot choc just before bed it would be worth changing. I think DS could strip his bed in the morning himself and take wet stuff to the washing machine. If no time to make up the bed before school do it later in the day. You want to be careful that it isn't a punishment for wetting, if he really can't help it.

From what you describe, he just isn't there yet with the dryness. I think consulting the GP and getting some help might be a good thing for all of you if nothing has changed by DS 7th birthday. Although, this in itself might suddenly trigger a miracle! My DS was still wet at night more often than not, in pull-ups, and I consulted the school nurse about it. That night, DS (aged 4.7) announced he would like to try to stay dry without pull-ups. We had been waking him since he was 4 and taking to the loo. He asked us to wake him when we went to bed to go to the loo. and that night he was dry. A few nights later, he woke himself and went to the loo, and never looked back. I often wondered how he knew he was ready! And it coincided with starting a new school.

That's very interesting! I think I'll hang on in there until he's 7 then see the GP and like you say, that might be enough in itself! Interestingly, last night I slept in the spare room which is up on the 2nd floor to try to get some uninterrupted sleep (DS comes through to our ensuite for a wee/when he's wet to put stuff in the shower as the bathroom is up on the 2nd floor) and when I explained I would be doing this, DS said 'oh I'll be dry, I'm always dry when you sleep upstairs' and lo and behold he was dry this morning!