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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Damp Pants. Please Help!!

7 replies

Meeshamie · 10/05/2011 15:02

Okay here goes... We successfully potty trained my DS when he was 2.6. It took about a week or two for him to be fully reliable and he pretty much night trained himself (his pull ups are almost always dry every morning). He is now 3.1 and since about 2 months ago he doesn't seem to get to the potty/toilet before wetting his pants. It's always a small damp patch as opposed to a puddle but he only ever does this when he is at home with me. I work 3 days a week so for the rest of the week I'm changing his pants and sometimes trousers if it goes through at least 2-3 times a day. He's completely dry at nursery, even taking himself off to the toilet without being asked and mostly when I'm out and about at friends houses etc. he remains dry.

I have tried everything (to my knowledge!). Asking him politely if he needs to go, reminding him, encouraging him by letting him know it's a good idea and saying it isn't comfortable to walk around in wet pants. He generally goes once I've mentioned it but a lot of time by then it's too late... but a lot of the time when I suggest it he fiercely shouts no only to go a minute later (his terms not mine!) - but still with wet pants.

It feels like it's a case of him being too distracted or engrossed in playing to go in time but I don't see why that should be the case just at home when we are playing together. He can manage most of the other time.

I've considered the possibility UTIs but as he spends part of the week dry and part wet I'm not sure it can be this and I don't think I want to put him through getting a sterile sample for testing as it sounds very tricky from what I've read.

I think it's mostly a behavioural thing but I am all out of ideas. He knows what to do, he has a potty right where he plays or a toilet in easy reach (he chooses which vessel!).

Any ideas? I'm struggling not to go insane over this!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Mollymax · 10/05/2011 15:54

Not a great help,but my 3 girls are the same but it is because they all suffer from recurrent uti's.
It may be worth taking a urine sample along to the GP just to rule a uti out.

5318008 · 10/05/2011 22:41

you might do well to rewind ever so slightly and go back to taking him to the toilet/potty rather than asking him for a few days

Meeshamie · 11/05/2011 08:59

Thanks for you responses. Probably a good example of when not to look things up online with regards to getting toddlers tested for urine samples. I was given to understand they had to get a sterile sample involving possible use of catheter or needle inserted into lower abdomen! If it's just a case of bringing a sample in yourself I will certainly do so.

I have tried taking him to the potty/toilet but this mostly comes with shrieks of "I don't want to" over and over. I think his wet pants just don't bother him but last night as he was getting to the toilet just before bath time, he cried out because he had wet pants as he didn't quite make it in time. Obviously I told him not to worry but maybe that could be a turning point as he was clearly bothered - this being the first time he's reacted like that. Plus, they were hardly wet at all so he still managed to hold on between then and getting trousers down etc... which makes me think he does have fairly good bladder control.

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DoodleAlley · 11/05/2011 09:16

Oh this sounds so familiar even the number if days you work! I think taking things with a pinch if salt helps. If you are stressed about it he'll realise and play up.

I'm going back to a star chart for when he goes when I ask or tells us. Getting a sweet when he's been particularly good helps too.

DS really wants a Lego tractor that's in our cupboard So he is saving up stars for it but tbh a little chocolate ball afterwards seems to work best as it's an immediate treat for his actions.

Someone once helpfully said that potty training especially boys is a journey rather than an event. I find that really helpful.

Re uti's I'd swear DS had one as he had always been dry at lunch and started bring wet every time he woke. We took him to the doctors and he had to pee in a pot (which he absolutely loved!!!!! He's such a boy!). It cane back negative but he was fidgeting after weeing as well and was unhappy so I'm sure it was there.

Hope this helps. Feel free to message me if you need any moral support in the future. Potty training's a marathon at times!!

Meeshamie · 11/05/2011 13:43

Thanks for the journey/event differentiation! That is helpful :)

And thanks for offer of moral support. It does feel fairly endless at the moment but we shall see. It also helps to know we are not alone!

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Roo83 · 14/05/2011 17:27

My ds has had a few phases of this since pt. I ask him to rinse out his pants and put them out to wash,and go and get a dry pair on. That way he is having a consequence,but it's not winding me up or me telling him off. These phases have usually passed fairly quickly and he goes back to normal. Only other thought would be is he holding his poo at all? When ds needs a poo but doesn't want to go,his wee sometimes leaks a bit!

Meeshamie · 23/05/2011 10:22

We have had 4 days on the trot of no damp pants so things are looking a lot better (and my laundry pile has gone down)...

Thanks again for all the advice :)

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