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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

I know this has been asked a million times - but should I persevere or not?

11 replies

lucysnowe · 01/05/2011 13:57

Hi all

DD is 3.1. We tried potty training when she was 2 1/2, no joy, so tried again this week, putting her straight into pants - and it has been a bit of a nightmare. I honestly don't know if we should continue or not and reading this forum has got me a bit confused. Smile. Here are the pros and cons

  • she knows what the potty and toilet are for, and that she gets a smartie when she does a wee or poo
  • she is able to stay dry for 3 hours, and only seems to wee when she's at someone's house or at home
  • she knows to pull her pants down etc (although she usually wants to take everything off)
  • she knows some of her friends are now wearing pants, and talks about it quite a lot
  • she is v. v. vocal when she does a poo, and it's very unlikely she could sneak out out without me knowing Smile

BUT

  • she doesn't seem to be aware she is doing a wee
  • since yesterday she doesn't want to go on the potty or toilet at all and seems to be finding it a bit stressful
  • before, she was in pull ups and she asked to go on the potty occasionally, but didn't always wee, or just squeezed out a little bit
  • yesterday she was v. distraught, saying 'I need a nappy!' and wouldn't do a poo until I put her in a pull up. Shock
  • she doesn't care about being dirty really, and will happily walk around in a dirty nappy all day if I let her

Yesterday she had five accidents and no successes, day before one wee on the potty but that was after she'd done half a wee on the floor. I ask her if she wants to go, she shakes her head and then wets herself five seconds later. So today back in nappies Blush.

She is getting a new baby brother in September and I really wanted to get her 'done' now rather than later, but should we give up for now? Any advice really appreciated!

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Jemma1111 · 01/05/2011 14:04

If I were you I would throw away the nappies and just persevere even if she has lots of 'accidents' .

Your dd could also be wanting to stay in nappies as she knows another baby is on the way and may be a little jealous that she won't be the baby anymore.

Mangomargarita · 01/05/2011 20:45

lucynowe - how long have you potty training for? I would continue with it for atleast two weeks. Even if she has accidents everyday, I think at the end of the two weeks there is a very good chance she would have got it. With my two I found that after days of accidents, it just suddenly clicked. I know it is frustrating-I hate potty training, but it will be a million times harder when the baby arrives.
Don't put her in nappies(except maybe for naps and night-time). She will get it honest. If after two weeks, she still isn't getting it, then I would reconsider.

Original poster
lucysnowe · 02/05/2011 13:57

Hi guys

Thanks :) I was hoping you'd tell me to give up!

Haven't been potty training for long - but got v. stressed on the second day (I know that's only the start!) and DH was not being particular helpful so I might leave it a few days and start again when he's not around. She's in pull ups today and has asked to go to the potty twice - and once did a wee!! so am very happy, and she's a lot more open to it than she was the day before yesterday.

It's interesting what you say about it 'clicking' Mango as I've read that they will 'click' by themselves (and potty training is a doddle) but also that you need to push them a bit.

Jemma, I'm sure there are baby issues (and she is asking to be a baby already!!) but we got out some baby clothes this weekend and I think she is starting to get used to the idea.

One issue is she has a packed week in term time, nursery, preschool AND MILs so I'd prefer to train during the hols if possible. But maybe that would be too late.

OP posts:
Mangomargarita · 02/05/2011 20:53

lucysnowe-the thing with potty training is that you have to be mentally prepared too, as it is such a phaff.
It is good to do it in the holidays as you can concentrate on it-maybe you could do it during the next bank holiday weekend. If you leave it too close to your due date you will prob. be quite tired and not follow through.
My dh was a pain too-kept telling me that dd1 wasn't ready, but I just ignored him and continued. Some children might get it immediately, but for most children it's just a matter of persevering for a couple of weeks and keeping faith that they will get it - good luck!

mankycat · 03/05/2011 10:37

Yes you should perservere. I have just successfully potty trained my DS 2.5 about 4 weeks ago now and we have just gone dry at night too last night being the first night and was dry this morning so no going back now! I just went cold turkey, on day 2 left the house armed with a potty and pants and took him to soft play. He didn't have one accident. It is hard work I got absolutly sick of the sound of my own voice talking about wees poos and do you need the potty. We have had accidents but it doesn't really matter even when they are older they have accidents.

My DS was always happy in a dirty nappy and at the beginning of potty training he wanted a nappy but I never gave in. I haven't even had a pull up on him. We found that loads of cheering and whooping worked made him feel really proud he still even says hoooray when he goes now. Just ask every 10- 15 mins and pop them on it it is a nightmare and you sound like the biggest nag but I would say cold turkey in my experience was the easiest way. I was dreading doing the training but cant beleive how easyish it was.

Original poster
lucysnowe · 03/05/2011 11:38

I have just bought that 'train your toddler in a day' book, that will be interesting!

Mango I'm sure it's true that I have to be psyched up for it as well. I'm not sure why I'm getting so stressed about it, I guess I've been so lucky in her development so far, she's been v. 'normal' so far and now I am worried about her being behind and f*cking it up for her even more. I try and be super relaxed about most things but I think on this we are going to have to bite the bullet. :)

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Original poster
lucysnowe · 03/05/2011 11:39

Oh and manky, thankyou, your story is v. inspiring. I am too already sick of the sound of my own voice and major potty obsession!

OP posts:
mankycat · 03/05/2011 21:49

Thats ok. After I posted DS was asleep on the my brand new sofa (fabric) woke up in a foul mood and screamed for about an hour then peed all over it. He knew exactly what he was doing. I dont really see that as going backwards I cleaned it up and asked him where he goes for wees and he said in the potty. Refused to put clean pants on as they had the same print as the last pair and he thought they were dirty and this is coming from a child who didn't care that he was in pooey nappies!!!

Firawla · 05/05/2011 17:20

I was going to ask a similar Q to this, so if you don't mind OP I will just join in your post?
Is it normal then for them to keep asking for nappies back? as my ds keeps saying I want some nappies, I dont like pants etc, I see some people have mentioned it so atleast he is not the only one but I was wondering whether to take that as meaning he is not ready
I have not really been v consistant with it though, keep putting him in nappies half the time so I suppose that probably does not help

mankycat · 05/05/2011 22:22

I wouldn't personally. As I said in my previous post my DS said that he wanted nappies I just never gave in. He has been so good for 4 weeks. But today we have gone backwards and he has had about 5 accidents pees & poos think he is having a bad day, but im not putting him in a nappy tonight. If he wets then ill just get up and change him and his bed.

I think keep putting them back in nappies is probably confusing. At the end of the day its just pee its no more difficult changing clothes than a nappy. I wouldn't say that them saying they want their nappies back means they are not ready I guess its alot from them to absorb, its a new skill to learn as adults we find it hard to learn new stuff sometimes and rather not bother and its easier to go back to what we know?

Firawla · 05/05/2011 23:06

yeah i think as you said its just a case of easier for him to stick with what he knows (easier for me too is probably why i keep putting him back in them too tbh) maybe just cold turkey, including outside the house, will be the way to go.. hmm
just makes me feel sorry for him to see him asking for his nappies back, maybe im too much of a soft touch. like OP im expecting another baby in the summer & feel a bit concious of forcing him to grow up too much, as i feel like i made that mistake a bit with him when i had ds2 and he was only very young. but really, he is gonna be 3 before too long so perhaps i should just get a grip and get on with it properly!
dont think i will be brave enough to take off the night nappy quite yet though! but hope it does go easier than expected when i get on with it properly
thanks for ur advice :)

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