Can't see any of the 'warning signs'

[Leenypies]

The books/forums I have read talk about watching out for the warning signs your child is going to have a wee, and then rush him to the potty. DS is 2.9yrs and this is the third time I have given up potty training. He is happy wearing pants, can pull them up and down, knows when he is having a wee, but you can be talking to him and him just suddenly wees, with no apparent sign that he knew it was coming. Other times he will (seemingly randomly) ask for a cuddle in a fairly urgent way, as if he feels like a wee is coming, but then another hour will pass before he actually has the wee. He doesn't as a rule drink much (and you can't force it down him) and for the past two days has only had two wees each day, he is ok sitting on the potty but surely all the advice of the books is useless when we don't see any warning signs of impending wee at all!

I would leave it until he shows more sign of readiness. My ds didn't potty train until he was well over 3 but he did it very quickly and painlessly and was dry at night very quickly too.

Let him lead the way.

I've never seen a warning sign of an impending wee in a child who hadn't been using the potty for a while already. What have you been trying? I did it pretty much the same way with both dds - spent 3 days at home, at first bare-bottomed (them, not me!) with the potty at hand, and suggested they sit on it at regular intervals. Any puddles just mopped up with the suggestion that they might try and do it on the potty next time.

When you go out, make sure you've got a travel potty and lots of changes of clothing. In my experience, you'll get there sooner or later. He may need a bit of practice before he realises what it feels like to need a wee and knows when he needs to do something about it.

Let's see, what have we been doing... First of all we set the timer on the iphone (novelty alarm noise) to sound every 30 mins and he sat on the potty when I/husband was on the loo next to him. Novelty wore off after about three times and he then didn't really want to sit on the potty. Today tried giving him a star sticker if he sat on the potty for a minute, with the promise of a biscuit if he did a wee. After a few times he wasn't bothered about sitting on the potty. Can't remember what Friday's wheeze was, but it didn't work. He can go for hours without having a wee but it's hard to tell whether it's because he's holding it in or because he's simply not drinking enough to need a wee!
We're not leaving the house (well, garden) as I don't particularly want to have to deal with wees in the car/park etc, but do you think we should go out?

First of all it's important that he has actually been using the potty successfully before you start in earnest - I'm assuming he has already been sitting on it and using it for a while? If not you'll need to just let him get the hang of that before you take his nappies away.

I think it's a good idea to just offer the potty without bribes or rewards, and don't worry if he doesn't want to go. There may well be lots of puddles but don't worry too much. Give it a few days and just keep being consistent. Dd1 was brilliant and cracked it in 3 days but dd2 was still peeing all over the place after a week. I was just about to call the whole thing off when she suddenly got it.

If he's peeing that infrequently it's a sign that he does have enough bladder control to potty train. I would stay in if you're not bored, but if you are both getting fed up then there's no reason not to go out, armed with travel potty and changes of clothes. it's not really a big deal if he has an accident out and about, and you don't want him to get cross at being made to stay in and keep sitting on a boring potty.

Good luck - it can be very frustrating and feels as though it is taking forever, but if you stay consistent and calm I bet he'll have cracked it in a week or two.