How does this sound to experienced trainers?

[pipoca]

Started training DS (just 3) on Saturday. At first he totally refused to sit on the pot or toilet at all. On Sunday got him to agree to sit on the pot but didn't manage to coincide with any wee or poo, so had a couple of accidents. Monday he went to nursery and they managed to get him to sit (very reluctantly) and finally got a wee in the toilet. That afternoon I had him sitting on the pot a lot and got 2 teeny wees in it as well as about 3 teeny accidents.

Then yesterday he flooded himself at nursery at play time (he goes 9-1.30 everyday). Came home and said pee pee but before I could get him to the pot/loo he flooded the floor. Did loads of potty sitting all afternoon and then had a huge accident. Have had him on the pot all morning before nursery and once on the toilet when he got up but he's produced nothing. Gone off to nursery now for the morning.

Does this sound fairly par for the course for 4 days with a 3 yr old boy? Nursery aren't stressing it but I find it all quite stressful, although I'm very careful not to convey that, just find it's on my mind a lot.

He only pees about 4 times a day as well which means we're getting less practice. I haven't tried giving him more to drink as I want to see what his natural pattern is and try and work with that. All poos have been overnight, so no chance to practice that.

I'm 34 weeks pg so feel the option of leaving it til later isn't there and anyway at 3 I think he really should be old enough to have a go. A week or two before we started he voluntarily did a poo in the toilet but we didn't start as the weather wasn't good and the nursery advised waiting til it got a bit warmer. So, I think he's capable, just it's a lot to learn. Does it just sort of suddenly click?

Sorry that was very long...

No advice, we're on day two. But am interested to see what everyone else says so tagging along.

Have you tried leaving him bare bottomed at home with the potty close by, and explain he can sit himself on it when he needs a wee? Try not asking him frequently, and see what happens. Increase his drinks too. I think a greater throughput of fluid will increase the sensations of a full bladder, and give him more warning in order to do something about it. Sometimes backing off means the child relaxes a bit and is more willing to take some responsibility for their own toileting. If this doesn't work, you might have to leave it for a while, until everything has settled down after the baby comes.

I also think that he is more aware of your stress than you think about the training, and chances are it will go pear-shaped after the baby comes anyway. It's good that nursery are being sympathetic and prepared to deal with accidents.

My DS was flooding for a day or so before he learned to clench. In fact, that caused a few misunderstandings as we went forward with the training, as I kept assuming he would "go" every 20-30 minutes, and probably annoyed him by nagging him and trying to put him on the pot so frequently!

BTW, DS was nearly 3 when we trained. I held off doing it earlier because of moving house (one period), and some difficulties in my relationship with him (terrible twos, grumpy mummy). I allowed about 2 months for the training, and that was about right, because there will always be accidents even quite a while after s/he "gets" it. I'm sorry, but I think you are being a bit optimistic about training at 34 weeks pregnant, as the disruption of a new child is likely to cause him to regress. It really isn't a big deal to have two in nappies at the same time - much better than having one needing urgent attention when you might be feeding/settling a newborn!

Sorry that is discouraging, but I strongly believe in waiting for conditions to be right, rather than working to external deadlines!

As you have started, though, if you want to push through, you can use your newborn-helpers (after the birth) to attend to DS so he feels special and has a way to earn praise and attention, and can spend time on his pot, reading stories!

P.S. I've discovered that television is a real problem with potty training; they do not seem to be able to pay attention to their bodies while gawping at the telly! I recommend combining pot time with telly, so he doesn't get one without the other.

Last piece of advice is to watch your own child, as they all respond to different things, as it is very annoying to take the advice of someone very "sure" of herself and her own child - but not of yours!

It is often useful to try and suss out how often he wees and then ask him to sit on the potty/toilet when he is nearly due another wee -eg if he only wees every 2 hours or so and he was wet/did a wee at 9.0am then good idea would be to sit him on around 10.45 ish - sitting them on when they have a full bladder is more likely to result in success. At this age motivation may be a problem so combining it with a reward programme - such as stickers etc usually helps - have an open door policy in the bathroom so he sees everyone else going to the toilet so it is not seen as a big deal . There are loads of books and videos about potty training which may give him a better idea of what is expected of him - good luck!

I realise he may regress when the baby comes but I thought it was better to start and get 6 weeks in than leave and try and train in a rush for school (we're abroad and he goes in september and has to be out of nappies for then) with a very small baby to look after.
I know you can't just make them do it but I really think at 3 he's quite old enough for us to have a go at it.
He did a wee on the toilet at nursery on mOnday, and two wees in the pot at home that afternoon, had accidents only on tues (yesterday), and wee'd at nursery in the toilet again today. He sits on the pot quite happily now, just doesn't perform much.
We're only 3 days in, surely this is reasonable progress?
I've been trying to sit him on the pot when I think he might go and we have a sticker chart up today.

I see what you mean about your deadlines; those are rather hard deadlines! It's good that you know he could regress, as it would be particularly distressing - for everyone - if you hadn't known! A friend of mine was very alarmed at a tiny amount of terrible-twos behaviour from her (very placid and lovely) DC1 - after DC2 was born, at that - and I had to break it to her that her DC1 was still miles more pliable than mine!

BTW, that sounds a good start. I'm sure nursery will help.

well, realistically I'm not going to be training him in the first month or two with the new baby which leaves me four weeks to get him totally dry for school if I don't do it now. And he's not 2 he's 3. Just today he's been going and getting the potty and saying poo and sitting on it and making weeing noises and saying pee pee.

Hi Pipoca - sounds as though you're making progress! :-)

well, today we had a breakthrough...a wee on the potty at nursery and then no accidents this afternoon and all the wees in the potty.

Excellent :-)

bribery appears to have been the key!

Ah, good news about the no accidents. I think that sort of thing gives them confidence to do better and better. When DS had his first day of success, things improved rapidly afterwards!

I think it just sort of clicked yesterday what I wanted him to do and how to release the wee in the right place IYSWIM. We'll see how he's done at nursery this morning as timing is still quite important I think.

Timing and vigilance are pretty key when they are still so new to the business of holding! Poor DS has had some accidents recently, which I am sure were due to overconfidence... Poor little thing, he was very philosophical about them.