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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

2.5 DD doing so well, now seems to be going backwards

5 replies

Zimbah · 01/04/2011 21:29

DD has been partially potty trained since around 18 months i.e. mainly in pull-ups, sometimes knickers, but often using potty either at prompting or her own need to go. In Jan we decided to bit the bullet and go to knickers full time. After about a week she started doing fantastically, only having an accident maybe once or twice a week. Now the past few weeks she's having an accident probably every day, sometimes twice a day.

I know she's still only little and this is probably normal but I'm constantly thinking that it's because I've trained her 'wrong' in some way or that she's not ready (although really I know she is ready as she's dry so much of the time). I don't know if I should try to remind her more often, I usually leave it to her to tell me unless we're out, because she gets a bit cross if I ask and she doesn't want to go. It doesn't help that I'm 34 weeks pg and finding it very very hard to remain calm. Please someone tell me that it's normal, it will get better, and it doesn't mean we've 'failed' at potty training Sad.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Zimbah · 05/04/2011 19:43

Anyone?

OP posts:
mayson22 · 10/04/2011 13:31

MY SON IS 4 YEARS OLD AND HAS BEEN FULLY POTTY TRAINED SINCE HE WAS 2 AND HALF YEARS OLD AND HAS BEEN GOING TO THE TOILET SINCE HE WAS WAS 3. BUT RECENTLY HE HAS STARTED GOING INTO CORNERS OF A ROOM OR DISAPPEARING INTO OTHER ROOMS SUCH AS HIS BEDROOM AND SOILING HIMSELF. HE HAS ALSO BEEN TAKING VERY BAD TANTRUMS. I HAVE CONTACTED MY LOCAL HEALTH VISITORS BUT I HAVE HAD NO HELP FROM THEM. SO I WAS WONDERING IF ANYBODY ELSE HAS HAD THIS PROBLEM AND HAVE OVERCOME THIS COULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME AS IT IS REALLY STARTING TO CONCERN ME. THANK YOU.

girlywhirly · 11/04/2011 08:45

Zimbah, it sounds as though she is now bored with potty training, she knows she can do it but at the moment is choosing not to. Probably things are a bit unsettled at the moment, she hasn't a clue what it will be like having a new sibling in the home, and mummy isn't quite the same as usual, tired, a a bit cross maybe when she has an accident or refuses to go to the loo. It is normal behaviour at her age to push the boundaries to see what she can get away with. Don't underestimate how emotional upset can affect a child's potty training, if they think you care very much about the accidents they will wet on purpose, even after flatly denying they need to wee.

You could try 'racing' her to the loo, saying ' I need a wee before we go out, I bet you can't get there and do one before me' and of course you let her win and get there first. I think constantly asking if she needs to go will result in her refusing on principle, so you could just start a routine of going to the loo and handwashing before meals, say, and just before going out, or just before a fun activity where she will become so absorbed she will not want to stop to do a wee. Make it a statement rather than a question, 'do a wee and then you can go on the swings'. I know it's hard, but the more agitated you are, the less progress will be made!

mayson, think about what could be going on in your sons life that might be causing this, I think it may have an emotional cause, especially with the tantrums. Suggestions are family bereavement, moving home, moving school or nursery or starting at them, bullying, new sibling, siblings moving away, separation/divorce or parents new partner in their life, parents or siblings seriously ill, anything that has caused upheaval and upset.

Quite often young dc who are experiencing unsettling life events over which they feel powerless and distressed, find some element of control through where they do a poo, no-one can make them do it, and make them do it in the toilet. They choose when and where to do it. It's a shame that the health visitors have been no help, perhaps you would do better taking your son to the GP on the pretext of whether he is constipated, and rule that out first but do explain about the tantrums and soiling at the same time.

mayson22 · 14/04/2011 17:12

thankyou for your advice and i think i will have a talk with my gp about it aswell .

toastandmarmiterocks · 02/05/2011 20:15

Hi Zimbah, I hope things have improved by now. My DD always denies needing a wee then out it comes a few seconds later! She was doing so well at first. Today she had 4 accidents by 10.30am and I am ashamed to say I got really cross with her (wrong thing to do I know but I guess I wanted her to see that pee in the knickers is wrong) and then put her back in to a nappy. My older two were so easy to train and I have done them all at exactly the same age. My DD3 pretty much asked to be trained, I know she is definitely ready. I don't understand why the last two days have just been pure accidents.

Mayson, I hope you are getting somewhere with the GP. It certainly sounds like there may have been some kind of trigger. These little people are so complicated sometimes!

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