I'm sure this has been asked before - but how long can this take?! Wail!!

[Caz10]

OK we are only about 3 weeks in so not a lifetime, but this is not our 1st attempt. I am determined to go with it this time though.

DD is 3.2 so definitely old enough I'd say - it is just so...unpredictable! Dry for a few days (not even going to go into the poo issues here...garrrr), then accidents for a few days, back to dry, etc etc. Can't see a pattern, the other day she asked for and used the potty 10 mins before we were due to go out, great, normally she lasts 2-3 hrs between wees, next thing she wets herself with no warning 20 mins later!

Has started hopping around, clearly needing but denying it, then either making it just in time or having an accident.

Keep reading that people have it cracked within a week etc, am getting quite down about it now.

She flat out refuses and tantrums if I try to get her to use the potty when she doesn't need/want to.

Will I still be doing this in a month's time?!?!

I'm afraid DS1 was always a nightmare with toilet training and now at nearly 5 I would say he is not consistent. He was just your LO at that age but is much much better just not perfect. It is such an individual thing and the more people I talk to the more individual I realise it is. I have decided with Ds1 just to ignore it really and just put up with wet/dirty pants. I tried everything - the relaxed, the nice, the nasty, rewards, stars, but he just does not seem bothered!

Sorry to be bearer of bad news. I hope someone has a better answer for you

Ok that was depressing and reassuring at the same time! Did he fib about needing the loo? It is really doing my head in!

Sorry to be depressing I had to be honest. At least you know you are not alone and not everyone is toilet trained in a week!

Yes he did and still does fib about needing the loo although I think it is more that he is in denial because he wants to do something more interesting. I am often literally screaming at him to go to the toilet and not faff around and when he gets there he says 'oh no too late'. It does wind me up rather.

A couple of things I have tried with some success.

Telling him that there are no more clean clothes so if he wets then we won't be able to go to the park or whatever. Maybe not quite the honest thing to do but seems to work.

With DS1 I used to say 'never mind maybe next time' when he wet but with DS2 I say 'oh no that is a shame, remember wees/poos go in the toilet/potty'. Not sure if it is that that has made a difference or whether it is because DS2 is much more compliant than DS1 ever was.

The best advice I can give though is to try not to let them know it winds you up and to try and say calm. Easier said than done really but it can be another battle that I am afraid they will win!

Thank for taking the time to reply!

I like the idea of no more clean clothes etc- that is the sort of thing she responds to!

She is literally hopping around clutching herself saying she doesn't need - garrrrr!

Oh yeah another thing I found helped was a little bit of a step backwards but having the potty available whether he was. This meant that he could carry on doing whatever he was doing whilst on the toilet. A bit of a pain but stopped so many accidents.

I also found I had what I called 'wet days'. As soon as he wet once then it seemed to set a pattern for the day. I think because he did not fully open his bladder when he wet so would need to go again fairly quickly and this would be repeated throughout the day.

Hope you get more dry days soon!

Thanks again! Yes, def potty handiness is a help for her, I lug thx damn thing around the house and she has virtually no accidents in the house anymore, it is always out and about!

I so share your pain Caz10. DD is 3.1 and demanded pants as all her wee friends are trained. We've been in pants for 3 months and still have more days with accidents than not. DD has all the chat and will ask to go and even did a poo in the loo this morning. 20 minutes later, the other half of poo is done in pants whilst standing next to loo. Yesterday we had a full strip at the garden centre as she couldn't be bothered to ask to go to the loo. Enough to send any sane person over the edge. I have tried being calm, being annoyed, being disappointed, when at the end of my tether threatening DD with nappies again, star charts and bribery. All useless strategies and counterproductive in the case of some. It is so hard listening to smug mums reporting how their LOs got it within days. Our DD is just not one of them, it's just going to take longer and I just have to accept that I will be lugging changes of clothing for years to come. They are all different and it's just the luck of the draw.

Your DD sounds exactly like my DD3. My other 2 DD's were far easier (though never a doddle!) but this one is driving me up the wall! She's 3 next week and wants to wear knickers, I thought we'd cracked it the other week as she sat on the potty herself and had few accidents but now she just wees and poos in her undies. She kicks up a massive fuss if I try to make her sit on the potty or toilet. It honestly just seems like willfullness on her part as she's a very strong character ( a right handful in other words!)...sigh

5 weeks in, still not there, sigh...I thought we might've been one of these 3-day wonder stories but clearly not!

She is afternoon nursery now, so 3 hours of my day are spent stressing about whether she will have an accident or not...

Have you tried no pants???? This helped with both my DD2 and DS3 - obviously sometimes it isn't practical - but could you do it whilst at home??

DD has been knickerless at home since about Christmas !

Definitely works, no accidents, but I don't know if it then makes things more difficult to adjust to when they are wearing them?

I'm a big advocate of stick in pull ups, leave potty out and wait.

We had numerous unsuccessful attempts. Then decided to leave it and wait.

It took a long time. But at 3.5 she decided it was time and was dry day and night from two days in.

Maybe this doesn't work for all though - I don't know.

It took me six months to train my second son by which time I was a nervous wreck. When it was time to do my daughter I literally didn't leave the house for close to a week. I couldn't go through another horrible 6 months. I still have a very vivid memory of him pulling down his trousers and pants at a softplay area and peeing over the play equipment - and not being able to get at him

We did it over Easter when she was 2, stayed at home and left her knickerless for the first few days. The potty was in front of the tv with a supply of books so she could sit, watch tv or look at her books. Each and every time she did anything she got a Smartie. She loves food so that helped. She was not quite 2.5 but got it within 5 days and was out of nappies at nighttime a month or so later.

My second son (7 now) has only recently stopped wetting the bed at nighttime.

I loathe potty training.

Thanks again all, it is reassuring to know that not everyone else finds it easy! Everyone in RL seems to think it was a doddle, aargh...