2.5 Scared of Public Toilets - any advice

[willowcrow]

Before I start, I should say that this is DC number 3 who effectively has potty trained herself since we told her mummy had a baby brother in her tummy (DC4) and that she would be a BIG sister soon. I and DH had very little to do with it, she just decided that nappies and pull ups were for babies and SHE was a big girl! DS1 was only just PT'd at the age of four and my other DD around 3.5ish so this was very unexpected.

My problem is trips out of the house. She is absolutely terrified of public toilets due to the noise the hand dryers make. I should say I haven't been able to hoover or dry my hair in her presence in the last 2.5 years as she shakes and cries at the noise :( the same reaction happens when you just mention going into the toilet when we are out. (Its not a paddy it is definitely fear).

I usually take a potty in the car with me and if we are in restaurants or Sainsburys (other large supermarkets are available) or soft play etc, then she will happily tell me and we pop outside, wee in the potty in the footwell of the car and straight back to whatever we are doing.

Going to town is impossible ( she will absolutely refuse pull ups or similar) and it is getting very awkward going anywhere on my own as I am nearly 25 weeks pregnant and need to wee lots too ( TMI -sorry) I have HAD to take her in with me twice so far and she was SO upset and scared.. I felt like such a bad mummy :(

Sorry for such a long post, but has anyone any experience? WWYD?

I had exactly the same problem with all 3DCs so know how you feel. DD was the most scared - a Dyson handdryer would reduce her to a quivering wreck. I think its the suddenness of the noise that scares them. I used to try and go to empty toilets if possible(easier said than done, I know) and offer small treats for being brave. It was only a phase - DD probably took a few months to get over it and with DS1 and DS2 it was only a couple of weeks - but it makes you feel terrible at the time.

could you use the disabled toilet? so at least its only you there and the hand dryer isnt going to start?

also she doesnt like the noise and is scared... poor thing... start perhaps by hoovering up stairs when she is doen stairs, and then in another room with door closed etc if she gets used to nioses they may not seem quite as scarey!

Have you tried just having lots of conversations with her about the noise, and why she thinks it is scary, and what she could do about it? E.g. she could put her hands over her ears, she could hold your hand, etc. If she can stay calm enough you could show her how the hand drier works and now it just blows air at your hands. Maybe play a game of hand driers at home where you literally blow on each others' hands - I know DS finds any kind of blowing hysterical. He doesn't like loud noises either though.

At 2.5 this might be difficult (I know DS only understands "why" questions about 10% of the time) but it isn't an irrational fear - the hand dryer isn't going to hurt her, but she doesn't know that.

Thank you everyone for all your suggestions, glad to know your DC have overcome thier phobias kfitz

nannyl,we will keep up trying to desensitise her to the hoover etc, and there was me thinking little people liked white noise!

Bertie, I love the idea of playing hand driers at home and we will certainly have to try that.

Off to the swimming pool tomorrow - wish me luck!

I agree with NannyL - we used the disabled loo the other day because of very loud dyson hand dryers which I knew would be a problem!