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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

DD defiance driving us crazy

3 replies

MonkeyChicken · 08/02/2011 23:11

My DD is 2.5 and we've been toilet training for about 6 weeks now. All started off rosy. After the first 3 days she was dry for 6 days, then she started to have accidents and then it all unravelled.

Her behaviour in general has deterioated since we started toilet training and she has become ultra defiant, especially about using the loo. She has had about 4 dry days ( 3 of them last week) and she has even just gone and used the loo as and when she needs to without even telling us. So we know she can do it.

If you ask her if she needs the loo or tell her it's time to use the loo she just says no. She often has an accident seconds after telling us she doesn't need to go. She's even screamed that she doesn't need the loo while wetting herself. Sometimes she'll say she needs a wee then get as far as the loo/potty and refuse and therefore wees right next to the damn thing. This week she has even started weeing on me and my husband on purpose.

My DH is out of work at the mo and things are pretty tense at home and DD's defiance in general and on the loo front in particular are really getting to DH (and me). He shouted at her twice today when she wet herself (that's really not his style)but he also finds it hard to hide his dissapointment. When she gets it right we do high fives, big kisses, a special dance and have a reward chart. She doesn't want to go back to nappies but I'm not sure what to do to relieve the pressure. Any suggestions. (sorry this is so long!)

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katiepotatie · 09/02/2011 12:19

OMG, I could have written this post. Our dd is a little older (3yrs, 4 in April) and this is the 3rd attempt at potty training. What you describe is exactly what dd is doing, I am actually at my wits end. I know I can't put her back in nappies, but don't know what else to do. Everyone says she'll get there eventually, but when???

Sorry no advice but huge sympathies, hang in there Smile

whomovedmychocolate · 09/02/2011 12:36

Been there, done that, got the stained carpet Wink

New rules:

(1) She is responsible for this, not you. You can't make her pee on the loo and you shouldn't really try either. She may be too little or she may just have learned this gets a rise from mum and dad. Either way. You remind. If she doesn't go, she doesn't go.
(2) When and it's not if frankly, there are accidents, lead her to the bathroom and show her where to put the wet/dirty clothes and show her where the fresh clothes are. Make no comment other than 'oh dear, well put your wet things in the hamper and there are some new things by the loo for you'. (This relies of helping her learn how to dress if she hasn't obviously).
(3) Make absolutely no judgement or comment about the accident afterwards.
(4) when she does go, lavish praise on her.
(5) Use sticker charts both for successful use of the loo and a period of dryness (so one sticker for a pee on the loo, another for staying dry all morning etc.). Buy a present for reaching X number of stickers (make it achievable in five days or less - ideally three) LEAVE IT IN THE BATHROOM ON A HIGH SHELF OR SOMEWHERE VISIBLE SO EACH TIME SHE GOES IN THERE SHE SEES IT. This motivates her to try. (Playmobil seems to work well for this).
(6) If it doesn't work after four weeks, go back to nappies, relax and wait eight weeks.

katiepotatie · 16/02/2011 09:31

whomovedmychocolate
Thanks for the tips, I started the sticker chart, and bought a gift, which she will get after 5 days of no accidents. Not one accident yesterday,(she was definately wetting on purpose previously) so fingers crossed.

monkeychicken I hope things have improved for you.Smile

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