Three year old holding Poo & it hurts him

[nickstermum]

My 3 + 3 yo is holding his poo, getting constipated, compacting it together then going once every 3 days, crying in pain when he goes and its having a knock on effect with his wees.

HV has suggested apple juice, pear or prune juice. Blowing when he tries to poo so it relaxes him, brown pastas breads and rices (already has these)

Am at my wits end, dont know how to proceed with it, want to help him but my next stop is laxatives at hte docs which i want to avoid.

Any suggestions please helpx

No advice sorry, joining as Dd 3.2 is exactly the same! Is he potty trained? This started with Dd when we tried to potty train, so have taken a step back with that but it's not making a difference. If you can bear it, she often manages to go in the shower, warm water seems to help! But no idea how to get her to stop holding it in.

DS did the same when he was just potty trained. Have you tried lactulose? You can get it over the counter at the chemist. It's more a 'softener' than a laxative (apols, tmi!) I would put a spoonful in his juice in the morning and it softened everything up so that it didn't hurt. Once it stopped hurting, he became more relaxed and the constipation stopped. I just had to break the cycle.

I think this is quite common for newish potty users to be a bit more reluctant to poo, Lactulose is good - it softens the stool (or poo in less fancy terms!) and makes it easier to pass. DD sometimes held on a bit and it can set up a vicious circle, it takes a few days to work but is really gentle. Other posters may recommend stuff like linseeds which you can add to breakfast cereal and the like.
Orange juice can also be helpful and gentle high fibre foods like apricots, too much fibre can make it worse though.
Making time on the potty a bit more relaxed might help too - I used to read to DD. A good toilet related, but funny book is 'Who's in the loo'.
I also find that DD likes a little privacy sometimes too.

hi all,
thanks for posting on here.

Will go and buy some lactolose.
DS has been potty trained for 8 months ish. Its only really become an issue recently.

HV has told me to get him to blow when he is on the potty as it they are forced to relax their bottom muscles...

Apple juice is a good one also, but will try linseeds and plonking him infront of the telly or reading him a book or just cuddling him and rubbing his back when he tries to go. ITs difficult as he is in nursery 3 days a week and with GP's the remaining two.

I am starting to get him on the potty in the morning and evening though re this, and will start to add lactolose (as well as juice and other bits to his diet) in the hope we can soften them up.

Funnily enough i had the same problem as a toddler

Hi I'm having the exact same problem with my almost 3 year old and it's driving me mad!

The blowing thing works sometimes, if I catch him when one is definitely trying to get out I get him on the potty and we blow bubbles with his bubble mixture - but this only works when he's really desperate.

We seem to have days and days when he is holding it all in and little bits and smears appear every few minutes which I just can't stand for much longer! It makes me so sad when he runs off to hide and sits urgently on the floor to hold it in and then announces 'I'm Ok' when I go to look for him. No manner of bribery has worked and he says he's scared to poo

I've tried copious amounts of lactulose but this just makes the smears more frequent but doesn't sort the problem. I think I might have to make a docs appointment for him - not sure if they'll actually be able to help though. Has anyone else had any success - would you recommend a trip to the docs?

Have you tried Poo Goes to Pooland?

Yes I trid it and he agreed with it all whilst we read it but in practice it made no difference. Saw a nurse at the docs this morning (was taking him there for something else) and all she could suggest was a prescription of Lactlulose and a call to the HV...

My ds did this, he was on senna and lactulose for a year iirc, warm bath helped sometimes, lots of tickling, reassurance. I also bought him certain toys I knew he wanted, they went up on a high shelf, first major success I gave him the best toy(he was into WallE at the time), next success another toy, toys get smaller as the success becomes more regular, he got sweet for sitting on the loo too, with or without success!

I made sure ds could see the toys, so he knew they were there, I know this seems an expensive option but it was worth it. If blowing helps, what about giving him bubbles to blow when sitting on the potty?

Am really tempted to return to nappies but he's so reliable with wees and says he doesn't want to wear nappies, and he's starting pre-school next month too. Will give the toys idea a shot, I'm prepared to try anything. He got almost to the potty today but then sat down on the floor to try and hold it in and it arrived in his pants instead (frustrating!). Hopefully Lactulose will help keep things moving so they don't get painful again and he might regain his confidence and start using his potty again...thanks for the suggestions.

Does your DS still wear a pull-up at night? The reason I ask is because my ds did this once potty trained (the day he turned 3). It was how you described - a nightmare, we were constantly bribing him to sit and 'try', of course it just stressed him out. Then, about 8 weeks later, he started to do it in his pull-up in the evening in his sleep. This was fine, as we sat him on the potty before bed, asked him to try, then with no fuss just said 'oh well never mind', knowing that he was in no pain etc as he was doing it in his pull-up.
Then, as if by magic, after about 3 months of this, he just started going of his own accord on the potty , and touch wood we have had no problems for the past few months (he is now 3.9).

Oh yes marches, the toys on the top shelf- here they were called 'poo poo prizes'
Even now he occasionally asks 'do I get a poo poo prize for that?'

He does still wear a nappy at night, but on occasion I have asked him if he wants to wear a nappy in the day just to do his poo in and he says no he doesn't want to do a poo because it will hurt! Although the past couple of days when he has done one it has been soft and I've pointed out to him that it didn't hurt and he has agreed so hopefully he'll start to get the message soon. (Aaarrrrggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The toys worked amazingly - he had a poo on the potty yesterday and today, thanks for the tip

If the lactulose does not work then we would recommend Movicol which you get from your Dr - it works only on the poo keeping it soft and bulking it up with water increasing normal perisalsis and make it easy to pass :-)

Watching this thread with great interest as my dd is the same. She's only 2.5 and I've actually given up my first attempt to potty train as she started withholding for several days. We're back in nappies which is fine by me. The latest thing is she's started to do a poo during the night, usually an hour or so after she's gone to sleep. Think she wakes up to do it, but it cld be just because she relaxes everything in her sleep so it just comes out, she's barely awake when I change her nappy. Am relieved that at least she is pooing, but wld love to hear from anyone else who went through stage of only being able to poo after bedtime. Sorry to hijack thread, not meaning to, but wanted to say, am very interested in this one and eager to read any other advice for OP

Read this with interest and shall be buying both a toy and lactulose asap as 2.5 yr old son has poo issues too