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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

should I send ds1's potty to playgroup?

2 replies

rodformyownback · 07/02/2011 10:29

DS1 is just 3. He has trained late but eventually done it really quickly and has been almost completely clean and dry for over a week now, and usually goes without being reminded. The only problem is that he has an aversion to toilets - even when sat on our child's toilet seat at home will not produce anything. Neither has he managed to produce a wee standing up.

I've been taking his potty out and about which has been fine. The only problem is playgroup / preschool where he goes 2 mornings a week. They have little toilets for children. I asked the pgroup leader last week if I should send his potty - they said they discourage this as they want the children to do the same as their peers.

Last Tuesday his keyworker told me she took him to the toilet a couple of times but he didn't wee and was reluctant to sit on. His CM picked him up and told me he had dry pants and did a huge wee on the potty as soon as they got. On Thursday I was on the volunteer rota at playgroup. I took him to the toilet a few times, by the end of the session he looked desperate but he still didn't produce anything. He really didn't want to sit on the toilet, said the seat was too cold and he thought he would fall down! He was asking me half the morning if he could go home and wee on his potty.

This morning I asked him if he would try to use the big boy toilet at playgroup tomorrow. He thought about it for a minute and said he wants to wear a nappy. This seems like a huge step back when he's doing so well. So do I:

a) hold my nerve, send him in pants and no potty
b) push the issue with pgroup and send his potty, or
c) put him back in a nappy for playgroup until he's mastered the toilet at home?

I'm on my way out now til this afternoon, so thanks so much in advance for replies! Smile

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girlywhirly · 07/02/2011 11:56

I think the playgroup are being a bit rigid in their rules. Tell them that your DS will regress to wanting a nappy, and may develop a dislike of going to playgroup if he associates it with not liking the toilets and being uncomfortable holding on. Who would knowingly keep a newly trained child in discomfort? Forcing him to use the toilet will not help.

So what if he uses a potty, I doubt this phase will last long. The potty can sit in a carrier bag in the toilet at nursery until DS needs it, then it can go back in the bag until it goes home with him. With control like his, he'll probably only need it once during the session. Surely emptying a pot is preferable to cleaning DS up if he has an accident, as he might one day.

Don't put him in a nappy for playgroup. Rather insist he can use his potty there, or you will keep him away until he is OK with toilets, or find another group.

rodformyownback · 12/02/2011 00:04

Thanks Girly, this really helped. I talked to my CM about it who said much the same thing. Potty at playgroup has gone well this week, ds still doesn't want to use the toilet but hopefully that will change soon. Thanks again Smile

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