Accidents so often she thinks it's the way it's done!

[MrsOrange]

Been potty training about 3 weeks and not sure where to go from here
Promising start, did the usual stick close to the house for the first week and going to the potty every hour or so and all seemed ok. Lots of accidents on the first day but gradually getting better. Then about 5 or 6 days in she started have more accidents than being on the potty and since then it just got worse and worse. Now it's almost as if she thinks this is the way it goes, and that big pants are just sort of ineffective nappies, in that you dirty them, and then you change them and get 'new pants'
I've gone back to the basics but it makes no difference. If I happen to put her on the potty when she needs to go and it's a success, she's delighted (when she wakes up, after nap and before bath are the easy ones to guess) but in between if she needs to go then she just does it in her pants and then tells me.
Any suggestions. I'm very reluctant to go back to nap pies and so far her nursery are being sympathetic but not sure how to break the cycle.

how old is she?

I wonder if she is just not ready yet.

It's not a matter of what you do to determine when a child learns to use the potty. They need to have certain things in their brain - this is still developing, first comes the realisation that they are wet/dirty, and tell you they've done it; then they begin to notice while it is happening, then they start telling you they are doing a wee etc.

Only later do they start to have precognitive awareness of the need to go. It sounds as though this just isn't happening yet with your little one!

My boys started to be able to do this at around late 2s-early 3s. Before that I didn't bother with any 'training' as it was pointless imo.
Many girls are ready earlier than many boys apparently so don't despair, but really I would put her back into nappies as you are kind of setting yourself and her up to fail at this stage.
Sorry, I could be mistaken but from what you describe she really just isn't ready. Dont worry, it will come, you just need to wait and try again in a few months

Btw we have had few accidents - could count on one hand for each boy.

Once they grasp that the feeling they have means a wee is coming, they will really want to do it somewhere else than the nappy. They start to dislike the feeling of being wet, and will race to the loo or potty in a panic.

It's a totally natural thing - a study once showed that kids who were never 'trained' at all found their own place, in one case a compost heap on the farm where her parents and she lived,(!) just somewhere private, it's a natural instinct and mustn't be underestimated. Your child will learn - just give her time.

Thanks - she is 26 months, and I guess we also had such an easy time with DS who was dry at about 22 months so I do have high expectations
When she first started showing signs such as even in nappies telling me when she was going she had just started nursery and so we agreed to hold off as it was too much. Then she had stopped telling me and I guess I assumed we'd missed a chance but it would come back when we started.
But maybe you're right and that we just have to wait. Its so frustrating that it started so well and in fairness we've had one or two 'perfect' days since we began

How old is she? Is it possible that you started too early?

My dd2 trained very recently. She is 2.6. She got #2s first, then got the wees in a week.

Some say that if you are putting them on the potty/toilet frequently, rather than them doing it of their own accord, they aren't getting the sensations they need to alert them to use the toilet. Therefore when they do feel it, they don't know what it is, so they have an accident.

Straight back to nappies and try again in 3 months time.

Potty training is not woth a moment's stress or bottle of carpet shampoo!

then got the wees in a weekend, not week.

Also, I have the potty where she can see it, so as soon as see feels she needs to go, she can just take her self to the potty & go (like now).

If there is a long way to the toilet, then maybe she can't wait to get there!

I would say she is not ready, however if you want to continue, you could try letting her go bare bottomed. I did this with my two for the first 2 or 3 days as they got confused with pants as they felt like they were wearing nappies. Easier with girls as they can wear skirts/dresses!

I second Evelyn and seeker.

Just put back the nappies and try again in a few months time. It would not be this hard if she was ready for it.

Thanks for everyones thoughts - looks like it's back to nappies :(

And just to prove my theory that kids do things deliberately to drive you insane.... she started taking her self to the potty today!
This morning as I had a shower she wandered in and because I'd sort of given up I just let her be, so she took off her PJ bottoms, her pull up and sat down and did the business. Followed all day by taking herself to the potty when she needed it, only one accident and even that was literally next to the potty with one leg out of the pants already.

Your last post did make me laugh! Kids really do drive you mad! Have you tried using a reward chart with her? We had one for my son (My big star chart from encourageandpraise.co.uk). We gave him a smiley face sticker for every successful trip to the loo and a star one at the end of each dry day and then he got a little reward (extra stories at bedtime/choc buttons/trip to park etc) for every 10 stickers he'd received. Worked a treat and he was dry in 7-10 days. The chart can be used for different things in the future too...we're using it to try and get him to try new foods right now!! Might be worth a try anyway. Good luck x

Yes, back to nappies and it's really no biggie if she's in them. Far better to wait a few months and get it done with no hassle than changing wet knicks and cleaning carpets every 5 minutes. She's still really little.