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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

3.5yr DS3...dry for 8m but will not Poo on Toilet..what to do next??

24 replies

nicolamumof3 · 12/12/2010 22:10

No constipation issues, he poo's most days in his pants. We've tried ignoring, tried getting cross. Nothing but nothing works.

What is the next step? Do i go to doctor/HV? What i can't go on cleaning shitty pants for much longer really at wits end and feel quite depressed. That he managed potty training so well and quickly but not the poo part Need help...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

YourCallIsImportant · 12/12/2010 22:17

DD did this too. We spent a few months picking poo out of her pants, she was happy to go for a wee on the toilet but wouldn't poo in it. I didn't make a big fuss about it, just kept encouraging her, and really praising her the first few times she mananged it.

IIRC I would get her to stay on the toilet for a while after she had a wee, to see if anything would happen.

It will pass (pardon the pun).

Original poster

nicolamumof3 · 12/12/2010 22:32

i hope so, its been 8m now its driving me nuts. as he gets older its really getting more difficult as he's invited to parties/playdates, and im terrified he'll poo his pants there! They are fine at nursery just clean him up and off he goes. Just fed up and need change.

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maxybrown · 12/12/2010 23:03

Have you asked him why Nic?

Matthew sings the poo poo song on the loo to james

where we wave the poo off to sea - and flying poo and all sorts of stupid things lol, but that i just for nonsense

TheRedQueen · 12/12/2010 23:14

We had the Poo Problem too.

I am embarrassed to write this, but DD's Godmother advised doing something called "Examining the Poo". She has a theory that children are a bit mystified by poo because although they feel it coming out of their bodies they hardly ever see it and are therefore a bit worried about it just disappearing down the loo in case it's something valuable and important. She therefore suggested actively showing DD what it was, so that she realised that it was worthless and could simply be done straight into and flushed down the loo.

Yes, it sounds completely potty (if you'll excuse the pun), but it worked for us.

yellowshoe · 12/12/2010 23:15

The only thing that worked (eventually) with our son at about the same age was a book/pamphlet called "Poo Goes Home to Pooland". Written by some kind of child psychologist or student of child psychology I believe. I got it from a link on here somewhere. It is a really basic story, with VERY basic illustrations, about a boy who doesn't like pooing on the toilet until he realises that Poo needs to get home to his family in Pooland down the toilet and needs the boy's help to get there. We just read it to him (without pointing out the connection to his "problem") and left it lying around, he kept asking to re-read it and within about two days he was asking to poo on the toilet. Somehow it works - and believe me, we had tried EVERYTHING.

Original poster

nicolamumof3 · 13/12/2010 09:10

Maxy he won't answer when we ask why. He's a very very stubborn boy very different to my other two, intense almost.

I have heard of the poo goes to pooland maybe worth tracking down.

I said to him this morning, will you do poo in toilet today, as daddy doesn't like you doing it in your pants does he. he just replied 'yes he does, he cleaned me up, its ok'..[hmmm]

OP posts:

maxybrown · 13/12/2010 16:56

lol, oh Nic sorry not laughing - but that was funny little monkey - I know it's NOT funny but hope you know what I mean!

I just wondered if he said scraed worried etc.

Have you chatted to Basl as she went through all this didn't she?

James never poos in pants but he hardly goes now. When he was in nappies he went at least once everyday

Original poster

nicolamumof3 · 13/12/2010 18:53

I will chat to her yes but he's done 3 poos today on toilet bizarre!

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maxybrown · 13/12/2010 19:28

yay! lol. how very bizarre - maybe he can secretly read hee hee

Original poster

nicolamumof3 · 13/12/2010 21:13

you never know with this boy!!

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Booandpops · 21/12/2010 23:28

Just posted this on bowel thread.
A word of encouragement my ds was wee trained at at 2 yr 3 mth. Quite easy. Dry 3-4 nights a week but took another 9 months to be poo trained! First 6 mths were hell. He was in pants and not choosy where he went! Then started pre school in sept and he started to want to do it right. Jelly beans helped bribe him. Now we have not had a poo pant episode for over 3 weeks. Thought it would never happen! I personally don't feel pull ups work if they are already bladder trained. I used asda 7 pairs for £2 pants and if the accident was very messy just chucked them. We only ended up chucking 3-4 as most were just skid marks. Soz tmi !!It's a very commen problem but mums tend to hide it judging by the amount of threads on here! No one seems to bring it up at playgroup??

Original poster

nicolamumof3 · 24/12/2010 16:09

hi Boo,very ironically the day after posting this ds3 did a poo on the toilet. In the following 10 days he has just had one accident which is pretty amazing!! Thanks for the encouragement.

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Booandpops · 24/12/2010 22:46

Great. Well done him!!

lallylumpkins · 03/01/2011 19:56

Hi - I've been reading all your posts with interest I'm new to this and have registered to get help. i need it! My 3.5 yr old has been dry for 6 months but refuses to poo in toilet. She made herself constipated and we have to use movicol now. She would go for a poo in a nappy, but if I take nappies away (the paediatrician said I was too soft on her) she just holds, I then need to up the dose of movicol which leads to leakage everywhere. I have changed 5 pairs of pants in 1 hour today, it's disgusting. I've tried rewarding, punishing, giving consequences etc but nothing works. She will go to bathroom in nappy to do poo but will not sit on toilet (even with nappy on to do it) when I ask her why she comes up wiht all manner of silly excuses. I'm desperate for help :(

lallylumpkins · 03/01/2011 20:22

Does anyone have a copy of poo goes to poo land??? I've seen so many positive comments about it but can't seem to find it anywhere.

Booandpops · 03/01/2011 22:57

My hv gave me poo goes to pooland. It was ok but wasn't a magic trick. He liked reading it but still wouldnt do it himself till he was good and ready!

JimJammum · 05/01/2011 21:13

I need to join this thread. DS was dry in the day from about 2.6 yrs but has been using pullups for poos since then. I tried getting him to stop at 3yo but it was upsetting so, rather than getting constipated, I just put a pull up on for poos and then take it off and carry on. For a while we have been discussing stopping at 4, so on his 4th birthday when he said he needed to go, I told him there were no more nappies and he was to go on the toilet. That was 2 days ago. Today he has had stomach ache cos he needs the toilet and has been sitting on there 4 times in an afternoon with no joy. He waited til he was in his nightime pull up and went then (he's still wet at night every night and I can't get rid of them yet.)
We have tried Pooland story, bribery with sweeties, bribery with toy from "Poo Fairy" (similar to tooth fairy - he told me he'll just wait til next Christmas), and nothing works. He doesn't seem to be able to tell me why he doesn't want to go on the toilet - he's said in the past the toilet is too big (which I suspect is grandmother talking) and that it won't come out if he's sitting down (because he's not actively trying to make it iyswim).
I just don't want to end up with pooey pullups every morning because he's doing it at night as that's not solving anything.
The stupid thing is, I know that if he cracks it a couple of times, he'll be well away. At least he's not constipated or doing it in pants, so you all have my sympathies, but I would really like to change this situation and I know he could do it if he wanted to.
Sorry, that's really long. Can't believe I can write 500 words on my child's poo habits. What has happened to my life?

Booandpops · 08/01/2011 23:13

My son liked to go in a potty chair for a while until he was confident enough to use loo. Would your son use a potty chair? Bit more comfy than normal potty you could line it with loo roll they don't seem to like the falling away feeling! TMI

Original poster

nicolamumof3 · 12/01/2011 10:38

at four he might be too big though for potty chair? what about a nice padded toilet seat?

ime though they just won't do it til they are ready. It took ds3 literally 8m of pooing his pants. Maybe i wash harsh as soon as he said no more nappies that was it they went he was 2.9yr at the time so similar age to your ds, and cracked the weeing fast.

I was literally at my wits end with the pooing and about to contact docs/hv about 'poo clinic' but then all of a sudden he's just cracked it he's now 3.6yr it is an amazing relief. And he is alot happier in himself too.

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follygirl · 12/01/2011 13:07

My ds would only poo in his nappy. He would wait until I put his nighttime nappy on and then do a poo in it. I didn't want him to become constipated so let him. I did try bribery and even persuasion but it didn't help.

When he was 4, I encouraged him to sit on the toilet seat with his nappy on as I was worried that he would only poo standing up. I also cleaned him up in the bathroom as I wanted him to know that poos belonged in the bathroom.

Then I gradually cut holes in the nappies until basically we had just elastic yet. I kept showing him that the poo was going into the toilet and praising him.

Well just before Christmas he decided to stop using nappies. He was 4.5 at the time.
He will now go to the toilet happily and it is a real relief.

I know that some people say that you shouldn't let them use nappies but I didn't want him to hold it in anymore than he was already doing (as he would wait until he was at home).

Tinkerisdead · 13/01/2011 22:30

I just came on to start a thread about this as my DD is fab with wee and has been dry after three days in the day time, even using the big toilet when we go out. I could burst with pride at how quick she has got it. But poo? forget it. She slopes off to the corner and poo's in her knickers.

I asked her why but she keeps saying she is scared of poopy but doesnt act scared, just quiet and solomn.

we're still early days at ten days in now, but i've tried it all with regards to poo. bribes, praise, she loves flushing them away if i "decant" them into the potty. But i'm going to try "poo goes home to pooland"

Just found it free at :

www.kingsizepeople.co.uk/img/Poo_Goes_Home_To_Poo_Land.pdf

if that helps anyone. I'll try anything!

Santiagosmama · 29/01/2011 19:49

Such a relief to read all these posts, I thought I would be in a minority with the 'poo issue' but apparently not!

DS quite happy to poo in his pants every day, we try and explain nicely each time that really he should try using the toilet - he nods and says all the right things... but it never happens.... sigh.

I'm going to try this Poo land

Fingers crossed!

mollymay123 · 29/01/2011 23:17

im not alone! oh the reassurance this gives me to carry on. thanks all x

nicky27 · 30/01/2011 10:16

please someone help!! my 3yr old will refuse point blank to take nappys off i know hes ready because he has had wees on potty before but he just doest want pants. Iv tryed bribary presnts everything really want him trained he get freaked out when i suggest doing a poo on the potty too im at my wits end!! :(

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