Have I messed up?

[TankFlyBossWalk]

Hmmm, I think I may have done things a bit wrongly. I'd be very, very grateful for your thoughts!

DD is two years, five months. About a month ago I started her potty training. She was ok with it, but had accidents on a daily basis. I've since tried her on the toilet with a little seat and she seems ok with that. I put her on there every few hours and before we go out and she'll wee. However, she never asks to go. We've had no accidents in three days, although I caught her just in time before she poo'd today.

She doesn't ask for the toilet, even though she seems to understand it when I tell her that she needs to ask for it. If she does has an accident, she says "Oh no, I've done a wee." but doesn't seem very bothered. She had a messy accident at a friend's house a few days ago, which was a nightmare to clean up and really embarrassing!

Have I gone wrong? Should I let her have more accidents at home and wait until she starts asking for the toilet, or should I continue putting her on the loo and asking her to do her business??

She's dry through the night and for naps.

Thank you! :)

She sounds like she has fab bladder control. You do need to "let go" a bit imo, by that I mean she needs to tell you which initially will mean more accidents.

Try not to see accidents as "really embarrassing". Avoid (temporarily) any situations where there might be a fuss if she has an accident. (in our case it was my ils house). Most people especially if they have/have had small dcs won't worry if a child has a poo accident.

Would it be worth leaving the potty in sight and put her in easy to pull down pants/clothes. Tell her to try and use the potty herself (or ask) when she needs it. Or she can tell you if she needs helping on to the loo seat.

By the way, she has a balloon as a reward each time she goes to the loo, so there's encouragement for her to do it. I tried stickers, but she was unimpressed for some reason!

Our house looks like a children's party!

To be honest it sounds like you are the one who is trained to know when she needs to go, rather than her!
True potty training to me is when they recognise it themselves and go to the potty/loo of their own accord.
It seems a shame to go backwards into nappies/pullups if she's not having many accidents though. Could you do a sticker chart to motivate her for poos, e.g. 10 stickers = particular small toy she wants or 2 stickers = chocolate?

Wow! at her being dry through the night and for naps - that would suggest her bladder is strong enough to hold wee in, however, she's also not motivated enough to ask to go to the toilet herself by the sounds of it. Or put another way, she's physically able but mentally not that fussed You could try not prompting her so much to go to the toilet and see if she eventually starts to take herself off?

Thanks onepiece. I'm really calm with the accidents, but at my friend's it got messy.

She can just about get onto the loo and pulls her clothing down, but it doesn't seem to register that she needs to go.

Having said that, I tried back in June for a few weeks and she did better then. I'd walk in the room and see that she'd been in the potty. For some reason it then went backwards to the point where I thought it best to leave it for a few months.

Don't think you've done anything wrong at all. Potty training is always trial and error and with your first DC neither of you usually have any experience. At least with DC2 there is one experienced person in the equation .

Personally, I would revert back to nappies for a bit. Washables might give her the incentive to actually ask to go as many children don't like feeling wet.

Also, this information might be of some use, and the book mentioned at the end is very good. Its not "how too" but will give you lots of tips and confidence.

Yes, *peggotty I think I do need to allow more accidents to happen. Thanks.

Sorry, cross-posts, I see you've tried rewards!

Thanks Ineedsome. She wears Brighter Bots training knickers which contain a lot of things, but she feels the wetness.

I'll have a look at that book. Thanks.

littlemiss, perhaps I need to move up from balloons and find some little toys then.

If she is already in washables I haven't really got anything else to suggest. Our DD was really reluctant to stay dry at night until we swithed back to the washables and then she was dry really quickly.

My DD also liked to read this book while she was on the potty.

DD used to like reading on the potty, but it's all quick on the toilet. She likes the praise, but then it's a matter of "Get down now please."

Might be worth a try. My DS decided what he wanted (a tanker to go behind his tractor!) and he had to get 10 stickers to get it. The motivation was largely in KNOWING what he would get as a reward.

She used to like Little Princess 'I Want my Potty'.

When DP comes in from work, the first thing she says is "I did wee on toilet!". She's happy to do it, but I need to back-off and let her take the lead now then, I think.

Thanks, littlemiss. I'm not sure my DD's patient enough for that, but I'll give it a go!