give up training for now?

[moosky]

Hi

So, we're at the end of day 3 with DS (2.8) and am seriously considering giving up for a while.
He has about at 50% success rate, which sounds good for a beginner but my main problem is that he just won't go to the toilet / or on the potty.
We've managed two poos, one yesterday morning and another this morning, both on the toilet - fantastic. So proud of him and he seemed fairly happy with himself, although I still think he held back (and there's a poo explosion to come)because he's normally does huge number twos, and these were just pebbles.
In terms of wees, we've had two toilet successes, one yesterday morning and one this morning.
We've had three wee accidents in three days.
The problem I'm having is that from 2pm yesterday, he didn't go to the toilet, at all, not the loo, potty or floor! By 11pm I was panicking worrying about UTIs as he had so much to drink and I know had a full bladder. Tried lifting him but nothing. Put him back to bed. This morning he had dry pull-ups and I was seriously worried. After he'd had some milk, he did a wee in his pull-ups and complained that he didn't want the nappy on as he'd done a wee-wee.
Similar pattern today except that his last wee (on the floor) was at 11:30am. By 5pm and numerous trips to the toilet, I gave in and put a proper nappy on. Within 5 minutes, he'd done a wee (he did tell me).
Just to fill in what we've been doing:
Clearly didn't like sitting on potty - he guided us to the toilet.
Sat him on padded loo seat for wee and poo. Tried standing up for wee but didn't like it - he said "don't let go mummy", as though he was scared he might fall in.
So, our toilet successes have been sitting on the padded seat, a sticker for each success and a little (cheap) toy car every time. He understands that he'll get a big Thomas pressie if he gets lots of stickers on his chart. With each success we get excited - high fives, praise etc (as does he).
We've also given him toys/books to distract him on the toilet and read 'training' related books.
The accidents are dealt with swiftly, no reprimanding just a simple - next time you get that "funny feeling", tell mummy or run to the toilet. Clean up and cuddle.
So, I don't know where to go next?
Am I mad giving up now??
It appears as if he's got a fear of letting go, anywhere but his nappy.
Help - don't know what to do...DD was a doddle by comparison!!!

Thanks for any advice.

Mads

Hi,

It is hard when the one child TT's so differently to the next. My first got it in 5 days and never had an accident after that, DD was an ongoing process with occasional accidents for 6 months. She concentrates much more when playing so forgets to go.

I wouldn't give up after on 3 days as it sounds like you are having some success. At one stage the health visitor told me so long as their were more in potty/toilet than accidents on the floor to keep trying so long as I could deal with it calmly and not get cross but if I was getting fustrated have a break for a bit and try again, DD2 wasn't phased by the accidents.

How long is he sitting on the toilet? With DD2 even now I regularly have to sit on the floor next the loo and read her a story to do no.2's. She just has to think about it for a bit before she goes. I have just learned that it takes time.......

Hi Fresh01

Thanks for your email.
My worry is not the number of accidents, it's the fact that he's barely going at all (until he has a nappy on when I start paniking). I worry about the physcological impact - don't want him to develop a fear of going and also worry about potential UTIs from holding in.

He is inconsistent on the toilet. Sometimes he'll sit for 5 minutes, other times only a few seconds, saying he's finished (even though I know he's done nothing). I let him guide me. Some times he wants me next to him, other times not. I give him things to distract him but not too much that he can't concentrate on the job in hand!

Whoops - that email came from my other MN account!