Leaking/accidents

[DraculasMummysaDragon]

DD is 4 in January. She's been in pants since she was 2.5 ish and is completely clean by day. Generally she's dry but she tends to leak - she will be dancing on the spot and clearly desperate for a wee, says she doesn't need one when asked but then does a small wee in her pants and then goes to the loo. In extreme cases she will simply go wherever she's standing (although this is rare). It's starting to drive me a bit crazy as I still need to lug around a change of clothes for her on even the shortest trip; I also seem to be surrounded by people whose children have been clean and dry day and night and never had an accident since they were 2 (she's still in night nappies as well). DH and I have tried positive reinforcement, not making a fuss at all about it and more negative measures like no telly but nothing seems to make a difference. I'm reluctant to insist that she goes to the loo when she's clearly desperate because I think that will just make it another battleground.

Anyone else dealt with this kiind of thing successfully?

I'm afraid I go for the approach you're reluctant to adopt, which is to insist mine go to the loo! Nicely but firmly. Especially right before we go out anywhere. Which is easy-peasy to enforce if you're going somewhere fun, since I refuse to take them out until they've been. I don't mind if we skip the park or softplay but they do. I think after the initial novelty of toileting they can get lazy and it's just a bother to go. Parental prod required. I know what you mean about battlegrounds but you might just need to pick this battle.

Wodaling, I should have mentioned that we do insist when we're going out especially if it involves a car trip of any duration. It doesn't seem to make much difference. The battleground would be at home really. You may be right on the lazy thing - she just isn't bothered. Thanks for the post!

Trust me, you are not the only one! It just looks like that

My son went through the same phase!! regular prompting (particularly when you see the 'wee dance' as we called it), accepting that you will need a lot of changes and that this is totally normal...it will pass before you realise!!

Thanks Lydwatt - it's the wee dance here too! I keep telling myself it will pass but every so often it gets to me, especially when I ask her if she needs to go because she's doing the wee dance, she flatly denies that she needs to go and is wet less than 30 seconds later .

yep!! that's exactly it!! Doesn't it just do your head in!!!

It will pass though....

Oh me too - four year old. Has been basically continent and has now regressed.

Drives me bananas when she says 'no I do NOT need a wee' while doing the wee dance. She even denies she's wet her pants AAARRRRRGGGH.

EIGHT PAIRS OF TROUSERS TODAY! GAH!

She should be sponsored by the electricity and washing powder companies

OP, clearly I empathise. And I'm going with the 'you ARE going to go to the toilet and try, even if nothing comes out and you just sit there for three sodding seconds' method. Because I've had enough.

I am also making her put her own pants and trousers in the washing basket and put on her own new change of clothes so she gets that she is responsible for both her own toileting and her dressing - she'd rather I did everything for her frankly, if I could have a poo so she didn't have the bother, she'd definitely be up for that

Grrrrr.

we figured that the novelty of going had worn off and ds wanted to carry on playing!

Yes, we too would make him go and sit on the loo if there was wee dance on. He would some times protest that he didn't even as he started to pee

I lost my rag and told her if it happens again I would put her in nappies like a baby. Not the nicest method, but we've tried nice. And given her age if she doesn't get the message from a cross Mummy she will get it pretty soon from her classmates, who will be much crueller.

Here's hoping it passes soon for all of us!