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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Regression - accidents every day, it's driving me nuts, what do I do?

25 replies

somethinganything · 08/10/2010 13:49

DD has been dry, bar the occasional accident, for a few months but has suddenly started having accidents every day. So far this week she has wee'd on our sofa, my friend's sofa, the carpet downstairs, the floor upstairs, in her play house. I am so sick of clearing up wee and find it really hard not to get cross when I know she's quite capable of going to the loo on her own/telling me when she needs to go. Please can someone tell me the best thing to do, I'm really losing my patience with her. I ask her if she needs to go, she says no and 5 mins later wets herself. Any ideas?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DrSpechemin · 08/10/2010 13:51

Perhaps she's got an infection - this happened to dd a few months after she'd been dry for ages and I hadn't even considered it.

DrSpechemin · 08/10/2010 13:51

btw - I'm not a doctor

Original poster

somethinganything · 08/10/2010 14:00

Hmm, that's a thought - thanks Dr will perhaps get her checked out if it keeps happening. I think, judging by the circumstances each time that she just gets engrossed in what she's doing and doesn't want the hassle of going to the loo. I know I should just ignore it but I find it so irritating. Have a baby too and I've got enough washing/clearing up/wiping to do without this.

OP posts:

3littlefrogs · 08/10/2010 14:05

How old is your baby? Has this started since the baby's arrival?

Original poster

somethinganything · 08/10/2010 14:19

No, the baby is 7 months, I did PT when DD2 was about 3 months. At first she didn't take to it and there were lots of accidents so I put her back in nappies and decided to leave it, then she kept taking the nappies off, which sort of forced the issue so we tried again and it worked fairly well, occasional accidents as I said but just in the past couple of weeks there's been a big regression, first 1 or 2 accidents a week, which I wasn't bothered by but now it's every day and happens even if I remind her

OP posts:

Original poster

somethinganything · 08/10/2010 14:37

She's just done it again - 2nd time in half an hour. Doctor's surgery now closed until Monday morning, is there any other way of finding out whether she's got an infection? Can you buy test kits?!

OP posts:

3littlefrogs · 08/10/2010 17:39

It does sound like an infection.

Can you increase her fluid intake and put her on the potty every hour? (I know that is time consuming, but saves the clearing up) Would she drink cranberry juice?

Original poster

somethinganything · 08/10/2010 19:12

Oh no, I hope not, feel really guilty for getting irritable with her now Anyway, she's had a fair amount to drink this afternoon and no accidents largely because I've insisted on taking her to the loo. I'm sure she'd love cranberry juice! Will pick some up tomorrow, she's asleep now. Thanks littlefrogs

OP posts:

lucyflawless · 08/10/2010 22:40

Oh OP I could have written your post. DD has been checked for infection and hasn't got one.

I am just at my wits end. I tried to put her back in pull-ups becuase of the stress but she wouldn't tolerate it.

We bought advent calendars/sticker charts to really make a fanfare of her going to the toilet. Today she actually had 2 wee and 3 poo accidents I was so stressed by the end of the day. I wasn't angry at her but just the situation as I don't know what to do anymore.

If she'd wear pull-ups I'd put her back in them and trust it'd sort itself out in due course. But she won't.

I also have younger DC so today I found myslef haveing stripped her off in the toilet before realising my bag was outside. Thank-goodness for the kindness of strangers.

What a nightmare.

TheNextMrsDepp · 08/10/2010 22:42

Can I suggest not taking no for an answer? Sometimes they get so wrapped up in what they're doing they forget to go. Just insist at regular intervals that the tank is emptied.

lucyflawless · 08/10/2010 22:48

Sorry for hijack but I took DD for a wee and then 20 mins later she was wet. I would expect to take her every hour at her age
(2.8) so we have a fight to get her there; she wees; the wets herself shortly afterwards.

Like the OP she was dry, and it was all going well. I hate the fact it's Friday night and 6 months after starting potty training I'm scraping sh*tty knickers into the the toilet. Still.

I bought her Dora/Peppa knickers in the hope she wouldn't want to spoil them, so I'm loathe to throw them away.

sleepwhenidie · 08/10/2010 22:58

OP I could have written this post about my DD! I am at a bit of a loss about what to do as well. She would wear nappies though I think...when I tried reverse psychology and offered this after yet another wee accident (luckily we don't have any poo ones so far) the other day she said yes and let me put one on her, it was me that took it off half an hour later, I found it felt so wrong after she has been fine for 6 months!

Maybe I should take her to GP too but it seems more like she just can't be bothered with the whole toilet palaver....

piratecat · 08/10/2010 23:01

hmm, my dd did this at age 6.

she was going through alot emotionally and the dr said it was regression. it did stop after a few months.

Dawnybabe · 08/10/2010 23:22

My dd1 3.10 will dance about saying 'I need a wee!' and we're shouting 'well get on the toilet then!' and then she's started to go in her knickers while she's dancing about telling us.

I have absolutely no idea, other than attention seeking.

piratecat · 08/10/2010 23:27

does your dd feel the need to go op?

my dd regressed so much she couldn't feel the feeling. So i couldn't expect her to know.

lucyflawless · 09/10/2010 07:27

Well my DD just started pre-school this week... It just doesn't really add up though as the regression started previoulsy.

It's like she got bored.

I'm just going to have a long think about what to do next.

sleepwhenidie I know exactly what you mean about a nappy looking so wrong. It just seems to highlight a failure.

sleepwhenidie · 09/10/2010 07:45

lucyflawless - I agree that my DD seems bored too, and quite unbothered about the accidents, even when I get cross, which I sometimes do.

DS1 regressed at 2.11, just after DD was born and that was a clear symptom of new baby being around...it got so bad with him that we did put him back in pull ups and after a couple of weeks he decided he wanted to wear pants. After that we had no accidents whatsoever. This seems different somehow though, there is no particular reason why she should suddenly regress, DS2 is 9m, she has been out of nappies for 3m. After the nightmare I had with DS1 I didn't push potty training at all with her, she really did it herself just after 2nd birthday and was great. I wonder if she is just too young, concentration wise, but then she was so good for a long time.

lucyflawless · 09/10/2010 08:18

Again - could have written that word for word. Same circumstances for us too (except I don't have 3 DC)

sleepwhenidie · 09/10/2010 14:46

I am just being extra vigilant now with making her go to the loo regularly in order to avert disaster! Occasionally this results in a bit of a stand off as she refuses in that 2yo way, ie usually resulting in a tantrum . To be fair she is pretty good at home but once we get out and about she has a habit of telling me too late that she needs to go, usually about 5-10 mins after I have asked her and she has said no . It will pass, it will pass, it will pass.....

Effjay · 09/10/2010 16:43

My DD (2.6) is exactly the same at the moment. She's been doing really well until now - I took her out of nappies at the end of August. She has been dry at nursery but has wet herself every single time today, and done two poos in her pants. Driving me nuts. I'm thinking this is counter-productive though, as I think she is doing it for attention. They do say you should clean up and make no fuss, so I am resolved to do that though (count to ten!)

lucyflawless · 13/10/2010 21:29

So how are we all doing?

I was going to say I'm having an awful time, but I'm watching the miners in Chile being brought up and realised it's not actually the end of the word...

However - toileting accidents are just still random and frequent.

I was wondering whether any of you other parents of 'regressers' have contacted a HV/GP? I had DD's urine checked a few weeks ago but came back clear.

DD has just started pre-school so perhaps a reaction to that?

Asking her to go to the loo seems to be counter productive.

The other problem is that she will go to the toilet and do a massive wee, i reward her and then 10 mins later she'll tell me she's done a wee (wet herself).

I need a strategy! Oh and she will not go back into pull ups either, so it's a one way street!

Original poster

somethinganything · 14/10/2010 10:17

Sorry to have disappeared - mad busy few days.

Thanks for everyone's posts and sorry to hear you've been having a hard time.

lucy you have my every sympathy. My DD has suddenly been loads better in the past few days (only 1 accident in about 4 or 5 days) - I got her a cbeebies magazine for 3 dry days, but I don't know if that was it or the fact that I've been shepherding her to the loo (i.e. not giving her a choice) a lot - have eased up in the past couple of days though.

I didn't get her urine checked in the end though I probably should - as she insisted that nothing was sore and was having less accidents I just put it off.

Wish you the very best of luck. My only suggestion really is bribery and just being vigilant but it sounds as if you've done everything you can on that front and maybe just really going overboard with praise when she does go by herself or tells you she needs to go. Let us know how you get on.

OP posts:

lucyflawless · 15/10/2010 09:31

I find 'shepperding' to the loo can have mixed results. If we have to be somewhere then it can work OK becuase it's clear we can't go until she's sat on the loo. At any other time it's pretty difficult as it's tearing her away from whatever she was doing.

Bribery doesn't realy seem to work for us now either. It got to the point where she'd ask for chocolate, and I'd say yes if you use the toilet and she'd perform. That wouldn't be so bad if there weren't accidents along the way.

It got to the point where I thought I'm going to have a daughter who just wees and poos where/when she wants with really bad teeth!

bumbums · 19/10/2010 15:51

I asked my DS's pre-school teacher about this potty training regression business and she said that all children regress in different ways fairly frequently and not always for any obvious reason. She said 'better a few wet pants, than hitting or biting etc'.
DS 3.6yrs has been in pants since his birthday and I haven't yet been able to say that he's done. We have lots of poo mess in pants and its often only after I smell that a bit has gone in his pants and suggest its time to try on the potty/toilet that the poo is done.
I usually catch him jigging about when he needs a wee and so suggest he goes and does one. Or else I just know when he's going to need one and take him.
So not trained in the true sense but better than nowt.
Trying desperately to keep the faith.

ramblingmum · 21/10/2010 20:45

HI
I thought I would just say have faith it does end. DD1 started potty training at about 2.5 and did alright to start with. Just a few wet pants. But regressed after dd2 was born. Just like the dc above she was having frequent wet and poo accidents but with the odd dry day which only added to my frustration as I felt she did know what to do. I tried all the usual things stickers, rewards, setting a timer and ending up shouting at her for accidents(I'm not proud of this but my patience just wore out).
In the end the HV gave me a form for referral to the continence clinic, which required a record of when she went to the loo had accidents, etc and while I compleating it she started having less accidents and within a few weeks ( at about 3.5y) she seemed to finally crack it . She is now 4y has had no more than the odd slightly wet pants.

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