My child wont sit on the potty or toilet

[Ashep]

I am here rreally for some help and advice if anyone can offer me any? My daughter is 3 and half years old. I have tried potty training but cannot get her to sit on it. I,ve tried everything. She tells me she wants to wee and poo on the floor which is what she does, on a good day or holds it in for a whopping 24hrs until she can do it in the bath! Currently she is back in pull ups during the day which she just goes in without telling me when she is wet etc. But she is dry at night! This must be a behavioural thing but I'm not sure how to approach the problem. I feel I must have done or said something to cause this situation so now I dont know what to do or say? Can anyone help? Any tips? please

Ashep Wed 29-Sep-10 11:53:24
I am here rreally for some help and advice if anyone can offer me any? My daughter is 3 and half years old. I have tried potty training but cannot get her to sit on it. I,ve tried everything. She tells me she wants to wee and poo on the floor which is what she does, on a good day or holds it in for a whopping 24hrs until she can do it in the bath! Currently she is back in pull ups during the day which she just goes in without telling me when she is wet etc. But she is dry at night! This must be a behavioural thing but I'm not sure how to approach the problem. I feel I must have done or said something to cause this situation so now I dont know what to do or say? Can anyone help? Any tips? please

No advice, but would love to hear what others say.

Point out (nicely) that weeing and pooing on the floor and in the bath are a mistake, that you hope one day she will do them on potty or loo.

Keep using pull-ups for now, as you are both clearly not making any progress. The night dryness is beyond her concious control as it is governed by a hormone produced in the brain. I think she has a phobia about using potty/loo. Sometimes refusal is a control issue, the child has things going on in their life which they have no control over, so their toilet functions become the thing they can control. Think whether there have been any kind of unsettling changes in her life, such as bereavement, house move, starting or changing nursery/childcare, new sibling, parent in and out of hospital/very ill, parents separating etc.

At the moment don't force the issue of sitting on the potty, but do provide positive opportunities for her to understand what it is all about. So, watching you, or other children use the potty/toilet successfully and confidently, reading books about potty use, etc. but wiithout making her do it, unless she suggests it.

You could move on to sitting on the potty/loo wearing pull-ups, and when confident with this suggest lining the potty with a cheap disposable nappy and let her use that, working towards needing nothing there except the potty.