Bribery/Is she just not ready?

[CanNeverDecide]

I started PT my 21mo DD about 4-5 weeks ago. We have been doing really well, only a couple of accidents a week really. I started by just taking her to the loo every hour or so, then gradually let her take the lead. She has good bladder control - can easily go for 2hrs ish without needing to go.

However, the last couple of weeks she's been saying 'no' whenever I ask if she needs to go, but then wetting herself soon after. I think the novelty of the loo has worn off. So I started using chocolate buttons which works - except she wants it as soon as she sits down, which is fine, but now she really doesn't want to go to the loo unless she gets a chocolate button.

ARgh, have I messed it up? Shall I carry on with the choccy buttons? Is she just not ready, or do most kids go through a refusal stage? We were in town all afternoon and she kept saying she didn't need a wee, then when home I thought she must need to go as had drank lots but not been for 2+hrs, asked her again and she said 'no', started prepping dinner and she just did it all over the kitchen floor! Previously she would have done a bit, stopped and told me and we would have gone to the loo. I dunno... hard work this PT.

Essentially, if I say she can have chocolate then she'll go - but then is she not learning about needing to go herself?

All thoughts welcome.

I don't think you have messed it up, I just think that when they are this sort of age it can be more of a process than the 'potty training in one week' sort of thing that you get with a slightly older child. Things I would suggest are (i) strictly limiting chocolate buttons to results rather than bribery to sit on the potty; and (ii) never asking if she wants to go to the loo (which has the guaranteed answer of no) but offering choices such as upstairs or downstairs loo? loo or potty? chocolate button or jelly tot after you have done your wee? etc I potty trained DD2 at 22 months and I wouldn't say she was 'independent' until a few months later. By that I don't mean she had lots of accidents but rather that I still took her to the loo every two or 3 hours if she hadn't asked rather than simply leaving it to her to ask me. Don't worry about the chocolate buttons. I promise you don't keep on giving them forever. After a while they sort of phase out on their own, but I wouldn't stop them just yet by the sound of it.