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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training stubborn 3yo TODAY - please help!!!!

11 replies

ElusiveMoose · 28/09/2010 14:24

DS turned 3 last week. Has always been a highly stubborn and sensitive little soul. Although I bought a potty and loo seat ages ago to get him used to seeing them around, he's always declined any invitations to sit on them. Then, a few weeks ago, he suddenly announced that big boys don't wear nappies, and he wanted to have pants. So, we designated today 'pants day'.

All pretty disastrous so far. We put him in pants this morning - fine. But he is just utterly refusing to sit on the loo seat or potty and gets upset if I try to use any persuasion at all. He's only done 2 accidents so far, so he's clearly been holding his wee in a bit. He didn't enjoy having the accidents, but he seemed to find the prospect of an accident less upsetting than the prospect of actually sitting on the potty or the loo.

I just don't know what to do. There's a strong temptation to put him back in nappies (esp as I also have a six week old baby!), but I strongly suspect that if I do that, I will never get another chance to train him (he's that type of child). And he hasn't asked for nappies - he just doesn't want to use the potty or loo. I've tried every sort of bribery I can think of, but he just firmly says 'no', he doesn't need a wee, and he doesn't want to try sitting on the potty or loo.

What should I do? Do I just keep letting him have accidents and hope that he'll eventually start being willing to try using the potty or loo? Do I make the bribery more forceful (e.g. no TV unless he at least has a go at sitting on the potty)? He's been a tantrummy nightmare all day, so he's clearly stressed by it all, and I hate seeing him get upset - but I just don't know how to handle it!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bigbrotherslittlesister · 30/09/2010 17:52

Has he any friends that are trained or are training? this was a trigger for my DD, she wanted to do it too. We started by just putting her on at night and rewarding when she did something. Could you try pull ups with pants inside, then he will 'feel' wet and maybe start to tell you, but you don't need to clear up puddles and his trousers will stay dry, so maybe this will minimise his distress?

Didn't want your post to go unanswered.

wonka · 30/09/2010 17:55

Would he stand like daddy, only way I could train my first?

astragirl · 30/09/2010 20:09

This book might work for him www.amazon.co.uk/Pirate-Petes-Potty-Ladybird/dp/1409302202/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&ie=UTF8&qid=1285873512&sr=8-1

Our DS, 2y 8months, likes this book, and loves to press the button after using the potty, it might work for your ds too.

aftereight · 30/09/2010 20:57

Couldn't not reply, as DD1 (v stubborn and v sensitive) was like this. I could have written your post. It was as though she had a mental block.
At 3y8m it all came to a head. DH read her the riot act (wrong, I know) and I played 'good cop' and sat with her and eventually coaxed her onto the loo. She cried and cried but she eventually did a wee.
And that was that; it was as though a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and she was dry from then on in :)

Good luck, although I know it is soul destroying at the time

wonka · 30/09/2010 21:05

Oh I found boys easier to train naked.. stayed in doors for a couple of days?

ElusiveMoose · 01/10/2010 13:30

Thanks for your replies. Well, I thought we'd had a breakthrough yesterday. We discovered that the potty was really hurting him - he had a bruise on his back and a big red mark. So we switched to the loo seat, and he did sit on it more happily (still needed lots of persuasion). Then at bedtime last night he finally did a proper wee on it. I must admit I thought that might be problem solved (like aftereight said), but apparently not - he's been resisting again today. But now he'll sit on it relatively happily when he doesn't need a wee - but gets upset and doesn't want to sit on it when he does need a wee. He's got amazing bladder control - today he was obviously 'desperate' to go for about an hour - eventually crying and saying his bottom hurt - but he just wouldn't sit on the loo, so eventually did an accident on the floor. I guess we might try to have more bribery when it's obvious he wants to go, but because he only goes about three times a day, we don't get a lot of opportunities!

OP posts:
IMoveTheStars · 01/10/2010 13:34

try 'if you do a week on the potty you'll get a chocolate button'

Worked a treat with DS the other day Grin

Having said that he's gone to nursery today in nappies as he refused to wear his pants grr.

IMoveTheStars · 01/10/2010 13:35

Week? WEE! I think a chocolate button for a week's effort would be pretty stingy Grin

Dawnybabe · 01/10/2010 13:53

We kept trying dd1 to no avail, she'd have accident after accident and quite happily run around in wet knickers.

We eventually worked out that she wasn't ready and just left it. One day she said she wanted to use the toilet and that was that.

I know it's frustrating but you can't force the issue, they'll use the loo/potty when they want to, not when you want them to. Just try every so often and if it doesn't work, leave it and try again another time.

Good luck!

KMR281 · 01/10/2010 15:53

hiya,
I would agree with the chocolate button idea - one button per wee in potty, or a reward chart if he's into that sort of thing so once he's got 5 stars or 10 stars or whatever he gets a specified treat- coujld be sweets or a small toy.
If you think the potty is uncomfy, could you ttake him on a potty choosing expedition? he ccould choose which one he liked best pperhaps? Good luck with it!

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