Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Feeling a bit of a failure :(

4 replies

iismum · 26/09/2010 13:22

Just put DD, 2.11, back in nappies after 9 days of training.

She wasn't really showing signs of being ready or interest in training, but I felt at nearly 3 it was time to do it. The training didn't go too badly - she was pretty good with poos, and sometimes would voluntarily go to the potty when she needed a wee. But mostly for wees she was either waiting till she started to tell me, and maybe getting to the potty for some of it, or just going in her pants.

I would have been prepared to keep going but in the last couple of days she's shown signs of becoming unhappy with training. She is much more resistant to sitting on the potty, is saying she doesn't want her treats or to wear big girl pants, and says she wants to wear nappy. DP and I felt that pushing her now might make things worse in the long run. Also, DP and I have been pretty stressed about the training, and DD and DS (13 months) are getting really bored with going out being less frequent and more difficult, so it's not ideal for training to drag on for too long.

But ... I feel really crap about this. I feel like she 'ought' to be out of nappies by 3. I can't really rationalise this feeling - I think it might be some kind of Daily-Mail-style guilt at being some kind of lazy mother who can't get her child out of nappies - and I really should not let her suffer because of what the Daily Mail thinks!

What do people think? Should we have tried for longer? Could we have really made things more difficult in the long run by pushing her when she doesn't want to? If we wait till she's ready, is there a chance we'll be waiting till she's 4? Or 5?? How long should we wait before we start trying again? She's starting nursery school in January, although only 2.5 hours a day, so it's maybe workable for her to go in nappies. Any opinions would be great!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MrsTicklemouse · 26/09/2010 19:04

I don't think you're a failure, we tried when DS1 was 2 he showed no intention of even trying, then, admittedly when we was very nearly 4, he just did it himself from nappies to never having an accident since in two days. DS2 did it himself at 2.6

They are all different and there is very little point in making a big deal out of it and everyone getting upset, because of what is thought to be 'right'

fuschiagroan · 26/09/2010 19:09

Put it this way - are there any adults (without learning difficulties) still in nappies? No. Everyone gets the hang of it in the end, and she will when she's ready.

muffint · 26/09/2010 21:34

My DD was very much like this. After many failed attempts we stopped for a few months when she turned 3. She really decided herself when she was ready at about 3.5 years. Then was dry in a couple of days - day and night. Wished I'd just waited. Would suggest just leave the potty out and have her in pull ups and see what happens. Nursery seemed to help - she could see what others her age were doing and wanted to be the same. I think she had the control at 2.5 but just didn't want to do it.

iismum · 27/09/2010 09:13

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling more confident that we're doing the right thing now. I only hope she'll decide she's ready at 3.5 rather than 4.5!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page