what on earth do you do when your dc's preschool/nursery is not supportive when it comes to toilet training

[sheepgomeep]

dd2 has just clicked with the going for a poo thing and it has taken months for her to get to this stage but its very early days and she still wets herself occaisionally too. She started nursery and the school have made it clear they will NOT be changing a child who has an accident in fact they will call you and you have to do it.

fgs sake she has only just turned 3 and its so early days. I was made to feel like crap on her first day when I took her in, they questioned why she wasn't quite toilet trained

So far she hasn't had an accident but she probably will, I just think its ridiculous to expect all 3 years olds to be toilet trained or even 4 year olds come to that

I know there are lots of people out there who know more about this than I do so just bumping for you.

I work in a preschool and my understanding is that this should never be an issue, under the Disability Discrimination Act it would be illegal to refuse to take children who weren't potty trained as it could be due to SN. We encourage toilet training where I work, but if they are still in nappies or at any point on their journey to being trained we work with that and support the parents and child. I and my colleagues are always willing to change nappies or clothing if a child is soiled. I would be looking for a different nursery if I were you.

That sounds awful - How can they refuse to change the child? It sounds liek child cruelty to me. I would not stay at a nursery like that.

I think the school needs reporting. It has nothing to do with health and safety, imo, and everything to do with exploiting rules so that they aren't doing their jobs properly.

At my ds1's playschool they would change a child who'd had an accident if they were in pants, but they wouldn't change nappies.

The playschool that is attached to the school will change pooey pants etc but the preschool nursery won't. Isn't this the norm though, there are many schools where I live that have the same policy although not all.

Well, my DD1 is 3.5 and not trained at all. Nursery just change her and sit her on the loo anyway, and it seems to be helping it all to click.

This continence policy document might help. They shouldn't be calling you in.

I should move your DD!! Thats actually quite outrageous! Not the norm. My DS has started pre-school within his private nursery and whilst they prefer the children to be potty trained, they dont insist. They are helping to train some children. My DS has accidents all the time both poo and wee. They cant leave a child in wet or dirty clothes esp at age 3 = IMHO that tantamounts to neglect/abuse!

My niece has twin boys who have just started nursery (Aged 3) and they have to be able to wipe their own bottoms. She was astonished to find that, on collection,she was asked to go to the "poo table" to collect two named bags with the wipes they had used after they had been to the loo as the nursery have no way of disposing of them. As one of the twins had done a particularly bad job of cleaning himself, he then went on to scratch his bottom and,presumably spread germs around the nursery. Is this normal procedure at state nurseries now? Certainly makes you think it's the perfect way to put children off accepting a party bag!

I have the same problem with my nursery. So today I have just took him in underpants no nappy hopping they get the picture to try and potty train with me. As all the hard work we are doing at home is coming to nothing when he goes to nursery and they just put a nappy on him.

update

I've had some progress with dd2's school over toilet training over the last couple of weeks and I'm pleased to say they have now changed thier policy!

She messed herself one fri and I was called to the school by her nursery teacher. I was stuck in town and couldn't make it back quickly enough so one of the TAs had very kindly changed her for me.

I then spoke to the head and asked them to clarify thier policy to me and she agreed that it needed reviewing, it was unrealistic to expect 3 year olds to be dry and the TAs had agreed that if a parent was unavailable then they would change a child who had had a poo accident!

So success and ironically dd2 has not had an accident since that day!

I was about to say change nurseries now, but their policy is under review so thats good.

I still think its shockingly bad that schools adopt that attitude, together with getting 3 year olds to clean themselves.... outrageous! Good job they are reviewing it!!!

I am totally appalled!!

I live in Hampshire and have quickly looked up their policies. Have a read.
Attending preschool settings and starting school

www3.hants.gov.uk/guidance_on_toileting_needs_updated_july_2009.doc

I agree with another post, I would remove my children form this environment.....

GOOD LUCK xx

reading the continence policy above posted by saintly says that leaving a child in soiled clothes tantamounts to abuse! In those words...refusal to change is a direct contravention! I would complain if its not been changed, or move DD IMO