At the end of my tether.

[RobynLou]

DD was 3 today.
She has been out of nappies in the day since around 19 months.
She still wears one at night.
Pottying was always a case of us knowing when she needed to go and asking her to sit on the potty, then she weed/pooed.
She's never asked for the potty/toilet to do a wee.
She has asked for the potty/toilet to poo quite reliably until the past couple of weeks.
if I just leave her to it, she will just wee wherever she is, she doesn't appear to know she's about to wee and doesn't seem to be particularly bothered that she has weed on herself. She will then say "I've done a wee on the floor mummy"
I wonder if by being v in tune with her, knowing when she needs to go, I've somehow overridden her ability to know herself.
Until recently I lived in hope she'd get there in the end, and her weeing was pretty predictable so we never really had accidents.
The past couple of weeks though she's been weeing randomly and pooed herself a few times. It's getting to the point that it's difficult to leave her with people.
She's not been ill and there's been nothing traumatic going on.
She has a year until she starts school and I'm worried that this situation could just keep going on until then when it could become a real problem.
And I'm getting desperately sick of mopping up wee. it's really starting to get to me.
I just want her to realise she needs to wee before she's done it.
help!

I think she just hasn't clicked as to what it;s about.

You need to get more rewards lined up for her, and to give her more encouragement when she does it on the loo.

Potty training isn't a result oriented training - you need to emphasise method again and again and again.

From wherever you are in the house you need to take her by the hand and tell her that if she needs to do a wee, she will need to get to the loo this way (walk with her from X to the loo) and then she will need to get up on the loo and do her wee / poop there. Show her how to do this.

Practice this from every room in the house, again and again and again. "If you need to do a wee then you will have to get up and walk to the bathroom and get up on the loo and do it here. Then wash and dry your hands and come back to what you were doing before."

If she' engrossed in something, ask her to show you the way she walks to the loo and to show you her getting up onto the loo and sitting on it. Give her a star for showing you. Don't focus on the actual pee or poop, it's all about the process at this stage.

Get her to walk to the loo 20 times a day, from every room and the garden.

If she still doesn't click ask her 'why does mummy go to the toilet, and not just poop in her pants?' Talk about sore bottoms and smells, and laundry. Describe why we have toilets and what they are there for. Talk about olden days when everyone was ankle deep in poo and everyone was smelly and sick. Laugh!! How much better it is now!

If she has an accident get her to help you clean up any mess she makes. Show her the washing machine for the clothes. Talk to her about your electricity bill.

Pour yourself a large tipple every night. It helps it really does.

My DD took about three months and it was worse than establishing breastfeeding!!

I found being patient, firm, kind and consistent, and using humour about stinky poops etc was what was required.

Oh and don't underestimate the draw of giving a smartie after every effort (whether 'productive' or not).

Good luck with it! Remember it's all about the process, not about the result.

good idea about practising the route to the loo.
We've never done any kind of reward system for anything before, but I think you're right, this might be a good time to start one... I'm pretty sure she'd do anything for stickers!
thankyou.

Oh, bless you. I feel your pain. Potty training sucks.

You said she has asked to go in the past? Congratulations! That's progress! Remember, our children don't develop in a linear fashion; it's two steps forward and one step back.

She. Will. Get. There. Let this be your mantra. In the meantime try not to show your frustration - I think children are particularly vulnerable around potty training, so she may be extra-sensitive to it.

Remind her that when she feels a tickly feeling in her fanjo/ bum, it means that it's potty time. Have you seen the potty dance - on youtube - I think it's a Huggies ad. She might like that. Does she have favourite stickers on her potty, as an incentive to use it? I'm sure you've already done this.

She. Will. Get. There. (Just in case you forgot )