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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

EXPERIENCED MUMMYS need you help

23 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 05/08/2010 21:29

DS 2:9 months has had a really good first day with the potty training today.

He is a VERY anxious little thing and we are having major issues going to nursery once a week at the moment.....crys to go home, very upset, having nightmares. This seems to stem from the fact that over the summer they have moved to a large new space whilst major building work is undertaken on the old room.

So, shall I keep him off until September, which time he may have cracked potty training and the nursery will be all finished etc.

Or send him and expect upset and accidents....

Trouble is he only goes once a week.

Second question, keen to pop out as a family tomorrow just for an hour. Pull up, pants or forget it and stay at home??

THANKS so much in advance!

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PussinJimmyChoos · 05/08/2010 21:35

I would quit potty training...too young imho and probably making him more anxious along with all what is going on at nursery

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 05/08/2010 21:44

Really too young?? I did wonder this but feel under presure as he is almost 3....

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minimathsmouse · 05/08/2010 21:49

Hi,
Does he go for a full day at the nursery? Sometimes it is better to have a couple of half days as the child becomes more used to the routines. Children have a short attention span and they often like routine where they know what to expect next. Like you I sent my son for one day but eventually agreed with the staff that he needed two days spread over the week so that he got used to it and it never seemed new to him.
My son was potty trained and dry at night by two and a half, so it is achievable but boys are generally slower than girls and they are all ready at different times.
Pull ups can be great when you need to go somewhere. However if the potty training has only just commenced its sometimes better to stay home because you can give more time to it and its less stressful for both of you. Some children think the pull ups are just like a nappy and it takes longer to train them.
In terms of nightmares, they are fairly common at his age. My son had full blown night terrors where he would get out of bed and walk around wailing! we never got to the bottom of it and after a few months it just stopped.

PussinJimmyChoos · 05/08/2010 21:50

Don't do it because you feel under pressure - do it because you think he is ready

Is he showing signs of being ready? DS was four in May and its only in the last months that he's been completely pull up free in the day

I did not push it at all - let him dictate when he was ready and honestly, it saves so much heartache (not to mention washing)

ArthuriaAugustaDArcy · 05/08/2010 21:58

Absolutely not too young. Mine were both potty trained (one a boy) at just two. Unless there's a good reason to leave it, it's a cop out to say 'wait until they're ready'. It's more a case of doing it when you are ready, and when you are prepared to commit yourself to it one hundred per cent.

Yes, I'd keep him off nursery until you've done it (my son was/is similarly anxious, and life is hard enough for anxious children without nursery adding to it). If you stick with the potty training, don't be tempted by pull-ups, as they give mixed messages. If it's pants, stick with pants. If not, use nappies. Having trained both of mine very quickly, I'd say that concentrating on potty training and nothing else for a few days made the job much, much easier. If you do decide to stick with it, forget about going out for a few days. It's much less stressful that way. I thought I'd cracked it in a day with DD, so smugly took her to the library - where she did a poo in her knickers. I stayed at home for a couple more days after that.

reallytired · 05/08/2010 22:01

I don't think that 2 years 9 months is a ridculous age to attempt potty training. I think this trend of leaving potty training later and later is doing our children no favours. Potty training is messy and there are very few children who never have accidents.

I would keep him off nursery at least a week white you are potty training. If he is ready he will crack it very quickly. Don't bother with pull ups, not even for going out. It is better to protect the buggy with a plastic bag.

I would start of having your son playing outside in nothing but a t shirt and pants. Get some fun pants with patterns on.

When he wets himself, keep calm and just tell him that poo poo and wee wee goes in the potty. I used to tell my son not to wet Bob the Builder.

The gina ford book on potty training is good. I agree with her that if a child is particularly stubborn after the age of three its worth restorting to bribary of a chocolate variety.

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 05/08/2010 22:09

Yes, lots of chocolate today and worked a treat! Not sure how we move on from chocolate though!!

Will keep him off nursery until all the building work is finished, confident with the potty and i'll get more time to enjoy him! THANKS SOOOO much!

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reallytired · 05/08/2010 23:59

"Not sure how we move on from chocolate though!! "

After a few days introduce a range of treats. For example stickers, the chance to play on the computer, extra stories, watch his favourite DVD. Tell him that you have run out of choccy treats, would he accept a different treat instead?

I got my son to move on from chocolate/ treats with a don't offer every time and don't refuse if the chocolate is asked for.

reallytired · 06/08/2010 00:00

Or star chart to save up for a bigger treat?

mjinhiding · 06/08/2010 00:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 06/08/2010 21:21

ALL our friends have left it till amlmost 3 years old, honestly loads of us have left it to now.

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ArthuriaAugustaDArcy · 07/08/2010 08:52

Why?

ZinglebertBembledank · 07/08/2010 09:07

I don't see why later potty training is 'doing our children no favours'. Why does it do them no favours? They get there eventually and doing it before they're ready just results in heartache and stress all round.

I just don't see what the rush is.

It's just another form of competitive parenting. "my child was out of nappies/sleeping through/speaking chinese at blah blah blah" whatever

Do it when your child is ready. Relax and ignore what other people are doing around you.

My DS was 3.2 when he was ready and it was relatively painless and done within a couple of weeks. Some two year olds can do it, some can't.

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 07/08/2010 11:23

Agree with ZinglebertBembledank and we all had new borns as well!! Too much stress!

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MamaVoo · 07/08/2010 14:16

If he's had a good first day of potty training then definitely keep it up. He's not too young. For going out, either get him to try to go in the potty before you go and just hope for the best (don't forget spare clothes - socks too), or be stress free and put him in a pull up. It's only for an hour it really doesn't matter either way.

I don't have any experience of nursery, but if it was me I'd be tempted to keep him off and start afresh in September.

pigletmania · 07/08/2010 20:12

Arthuria I totally disagree with you, your dcs were obviously ready at that age, I tried to train dd 3.5 in her twos and it did not work, had 3 months of hell, so put her back in pull ups till she exhibited the signs of readiness in April, so easy, it took a month but we are there, poos are still a problem but that will come in time. Children are ready at different ages some 18 months some over 3 years like my dd, it was not woth the stress for them and me when she was clearly not ready.

If your ds is showing signs of readiness and potty training is going well at home, I would continue, if not than wait a few months. I suggest that you invest in training pants they are brill, they are what dd used to wear to pre school when she was training. It minimised mess and clearup.

warthog · 07/08/2010 20:15

def take him out of nursery. without at doubt.

if he's enjoying potty training, carry on. don't go to family tomorrow. do short term intensive training. otherwise he gets mixed messages.

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 07/08/2010 20:19

How much upset is normal??

This evening, he was really tired, but did a poo in his pants, after being constipated for a few days, got really upset and cried and cried. He said I don't like the potty as I cleaned him up. It was his first accident!

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nappyzoneloveschinesefood · 07/08/2010 20:20

If he is ready he is ready - i woudl press on while he is enthusiastic and doing well then if nursery day comes around and hes not so sure keep him off a week or two till hes more reliable. Good luck . Oh id go out tomorow as normal btu take potty or find out where the loos are in your locality - oh the fun!

undercovamutha · 07/08/2010 20:26

I really panicked when I started potty training DD, wondering how I was going to manage with nursery. As it turned out they were brilliant, and she was fine.

I had 4 days at home with her, to start the potty training, and then took her to nursery on the 5th day in pullups, and changed her into knickers as soon as she got there. She had a few accidents, but the nursery were great. We even took DD's potty in so it was just like home!

However if your DS is anxious, and you don't need to send him to nursery, then go with your gut reaction.

BTW 1 accident in 3 days is AMAZING. He is doing great and is obviously ready.

nappyzoneloveschinesefood · 07/08/2010 20:32

was that his first poo since pt? I ask because i was told boys tend to be more reluctant to part - i dunno if thats bollocks but my ds was - he went about 3 days and also pood his pants and was upset, we pressed on and when 2 days had passed and i knew he had one brewing we sat on the loo for about half hr and really relaxed with books and singing nursery rhymes - he completely chilled out and out one popped - we made a cake to celebrate

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 07/08/2010 20:34

Perhaps need to add that he sleeps 3 1/2 hours in the afternoon in a pull up.....I think thats helped the number of accidents!!

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ArthuriaAugustaDArcy · 07/08/2010 21:19

It sounds as if you and he are doing fantastically well, regardless of 3.5 hr sleeps. I'm of that one. DS stopped daytime sleeping at two, to coincide with DD being born. I'd definitely keep going, and forget about nursery for the time being.

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