Things aren’t right ‘down there’!

[BonnieGirl16]

Hello!

I am looking for some advice and was wondering if anyone has been through similar?

I am 38 years old and in 2024 I gave birth to my 4th baby, 13 years after my last baby (I know, it’s crazy! I have PCOS but a big weight loss caught me out!)
After each of my first 3 children things went back to normal down below quite quickly and if I’m honest i was quite pleased, it was all still nice and tidy and tight. However since having my 4th it feels like I have ran out of luck!

It now feels like I have a huge hole down there and as a result my sex life is suffering with OH. He never mentions it but I’m pretty certain he’s being polite. To me, there is an obvious difference and OH just seems to slip right in there.
I even noticed it being a lot less uncomfortable when I had my recent smear test!

I of course am fully aware how important pelvic floor exercises are and always made sure I made an effort to do them after each birth but clearly after my last baby it hasn’t helped tighten anything up.
I feel so embarrassed and have huge anxiety about it. My OH has to of noticed too, I’ve mentioned it to him a few times and he just brushes it off and says it’s fine but it really is not.
I have considered going to see a dr but I hate the thought of having to get past the receptionist first, what do I even say?!
Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you for reading.

I think it will put your mind at rest if you talk to your doctor. I wouldn't give details to the receptionist. Mine never ask, just make the appointment. If you have to give an indicator, just say you need a follow up from a previous issue, or that it's a sensitive issue and you'd rather discuss the details with just the doctor.

Mine do ask, so if I was uncomfortable about it I'd say a gynea issue or women's health. They just need to know roughly to triage you.

You said you have had a big weight loss. There is your answer. My friend describes the same thing.
You will have lost some of your muscle wall, especially if you lose weight as you get older.
She says it feels like a void and she gets air noises! On top of this you have had a baby, which will have stretched things even more.
Hopefully it will settle, keep doing those pelvic floor exercises!