Is this a sign to have a Mommy MOT?

[LilacGrass]

I gave birth vaginally almost 6 months ago and have been feeling well recovered, but I had a smear test today and it’s knocked me a bit as the insertion felt far more uncomfortable than I remember it being previously, and I’ve got in my head now that sex will be painful.

I haven’t had sex yet but that’s mostly due to lack of sleep and waiting for baby to be in own room which might happen soon, and my husband is feeling the exact same so not in any rush.

I had a second degree tear, but no issues with the stitches recovery that I’m aware of. No birth trauma but I had a speculum exam 11 days pp after a suspected infection, and that was incredibly painful and a scary time, so today took me back to that in an upsetting way.

I could afford a physio and follow ups, but the thing putting me off is childcare is tricky (I can only find appointments midweek when my mum also is busy), so it won’t be easy and I may have to take baby, especially follow ups.

I would love to hear any advice either of similar situations, or whether it was worth it for you?

@SourdoughSally Bit harsh

I vote yes.

Every women who gives birth should see a good post partum osteo physio.

I was shocked at how little basic (free) advice midwives bother to give.

Correction / treatment now can save a huge amount of trouble down the line.

The name is hideous I agree, it’s not something I’ve invented

I think it just takes time, and more time than you’d expect. I had very straightforward spontaneous labours where my body just did its thing. Labour and birth were all quite easy for me. I had a second degree tear both times that healed well.

After both children it probably took around 9 months for sex not to be painful. We didn’t really do it we just tried a few times to see if it was still sore. It wasn’t painful where I had the tear it was higher up the pipe so to speak.

After a year each time our sex life was back to normal so no longer lasting damage.

I don’t see what a mummy MOT would do. This isn’t a pelvic floor issue, a problem with stomach muscles and it also doesn’t sound like an issue with where you had stitches either. It sounds like your body just needs more time.

What does mummy mot mean? I'm not bring deliberately obtuse, I really don't know.

Completely unnecessary and bitchy. This is new mum posting for advice in a post natal health forum not AIBU. At least bother to give some actual advice along with a side of your nastiness. Jeez have always been so quick to be unpleasant?

From my distant memory I don’t think it’s uncommon for it to be a bit more uncomfortable so soon after birth especially if you have stitches but a follow up might at least put your mind at rest.

Why don’t people use google? The name is twee, but the premise is sound - it’s a postnatal check up usually by a specialist women’s health physio. Depressing really that it isn’t provided free of charge to everyone.

I’d go for it OP, I had one after my third and thought it was really helpful. I took my baby and it wasn’t a problem at all, I imagine they are used to it! Better to go now before they are mobile.

Why don’t you have a GP check first? You will hopefully identify the issue & what might be needed or alternatively you may get the reassurance that you need that things are progressing properly. The GP can refer you on, if needed.

I had a referral for corrective surgery, after my stitches didn’t heal properly. I thought it was “just” my pelvic floor but the GP was able to tell that it needed more.

Why don’t people use google?
Because I was curious to know what the OP actually wanted done at this Mummy MOT. No need to jump down people's throats. When I had my children there was no such thing. You just made a GP appointment if you had a problem (which I appreciate is hard sometimes now).

I guess it doesn’t feel like a big GP issue, probably mostly reassurance. Also ideally soon rather than a long waiting list, but might be best to use them as a first port of call

Thank you that’s reassuring to read! I think the fact most people have (apparently) by now made me think it should all be totally normal

Yeah when I had my first it really freaked me out, thinking that was how things were going to be forever which was also such a surprise after an easy birth. But it all got better in time and I knew what to expect second time around.

Pain with speculums, intercourse etc absolutely could be a pelvic floor issue. It’s a classic hypertonic pelvis floor symptom. Pregnancy can leave you with both a too tight and too loose pelvic floor.

OP, my Mummy MOT appt was well worth it. No diastasis recti but I had ongoing pelvic floor issues post birth which took some time to sort.

Usually you can take your baby with you to your appointment.

Definitely get a physio check, but this won't make the first few times you have PIV any more comfortable. What helps is going slow, lubricant, scar tissue massage before hand and going on top to control the angle. It takes a few times for your body to acclimatise fully for a lot of women. If you're EBF and don't have cycles back, libido is probably non-existent & it makes it more physically uncomfortable too.

What was it that hurt OP?

I wouldn’t get too disheartened yet. There is quite the difference between a speculum insertion by a stranger when you are tense and gentle penetration from a loving partner with the preceding foreplay.

I did think that, thank you.

The nurse asked me to cough quite a few times while it felt like she pushed it in further and wiggled it around, it wasn’t the collection of the cells which is what normally has caused the most discomfort.

I am a midwife and it sounds like you were tense which is more than normal after your last experience. Try not to worry and when the time comes for sex, take it really slow and use lots of lubrication. It can take a few tries to be comfortable again. But absolutely book in with a women’s physio if you feel something isn’t right.

I think there are a few things at play here. Firstly, it’s great that he’s not pressuring you. Secondly, there will be a psychological aspect from what you’re saying. I can only imagine how sore you would have been 11 days pp and you need to make sure that when you do go for it that you’re relaxed / prepared and can’t be thrown back into that moment. It could cause a lot of problems going forward if you develop a mental issue with it. I did. Certain positions would be quite painful and even if my body was fine, as soon as we changed my body and mind would react and we’d have to stop as it hurt. Thirdly, as it’s been six months, away from the birth, a smear would be more sensitive so separate the two and think about whether it’s not related.

get the check up. Always check you’re ok.