Feels a bit ridiculous to be writing this in post natal when she’s 9 months old but I’m really struggling to enjoy any element of parenting.
Her sleep is awful and has always been awful so as a result I’m waking between 4-6 times a night.
Weaning has been an unmitigated disaster and she has no interest in food at all.
She’s not moving or wanting to.
and she’s just a really grumpy baby who is very quick to cry.
I know I shouldn’t be using her for validation but quite often I look at her and feel nothing because everything we do feels stressful and unenjoyable.
I didn’t know whether I’ve got late onset PND (if that’s even a thing) or if it’s 9 months of sleep deprivation meaning I’m snappy and angry all the time which my partner and parents are baring the brunt of,
or if most likely I’m just an awful person who should have paid attention to the fact I had multiple miscarriages and realised I shouldn’t have been a mother.