Breastfeeding difficulties, please help me!

[Chocolateegg123]

Hi everyone

I gave birth to my LG a week ago naturally but needed a procedure to remove my placenta which meant I didn’t get to do skin to skin with her for longer that 5/10mins.

I have been trying to breastfeed and always get her to latch and feed before topping up with formula. This is what we had to do in the ward as she wasn’t eating at all otherwise. I also pump every three hours or so and manage to get a couple of feeds from that too.

I saw a lactation consultant yesterday and she helped with positioning but I realise because my nipple faces down it’s really hard to find a good position for me and baby. I have done different positions etc but she gets so upset and angry that I feel awful and stop feeding. She’ll push me away with her hands and feet. The consultant said she wasn’t concerned about baby’s ability to latch so I guess that’s something.

Since yesterday evening she has fed more from my breast and then we have topped up with some formula because she is just so hungry. However I am beyond worried that she’ll never exclusively feed from me now and I am at my wits end and feel like giving up to be honest. I feel like a complete failure.

Please, could anyone advise what I could do to help baby feed better? I have watched videos and will call the national helpline for further advice but would be grateful to anyone here who has advice. Thanks.

Hi, big hugs. I’ve been there! My baby was born naturally, but then placenta didn’t detach and he was taken so I could go for surgery. I found breastfeeding so hard, I wonder whether my body was just shocked from the whole trauma of childbirth. Either way, he screamed and screamed (stupidly I didn’t give formula at that point as my nct classes had made me feel like it was sin!) for days and days, causing me such massive distress. Latching was so hard, my milk production was iffy and nothing came when I pumped. It was hell. My entire full sympathies to you. I still feel such stress from that time. Similar to you, my nipples weren’t conducive to easy latch (inward facing) meaning he found it hard. I heard of nipple shields (plastic ones with little holes in) these SAVED US BOTH! Finally I could feed, he could latch, and everyone was happy. Incidentally I started to mix feed around 6 weeks anyway! I hope your recovery is ok. Any questions, just ask. It is such a hard time and it is such a shock when you’ve (well I) wasn’t expecting it to be so tricky. X

Also, it sounds bizarre but my nipples started to take the shape of the nipple shield and after a while I didn’t even need them! Please don’t despair 🩷

Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time and congratulations on your new baby. I’d recommend as much skin to skin as possible now, I had a tiny baby who wouldn’t feed much, was super sleepy and briefly dipped below the 2nd centile. I got her up to the 25th centile by letting her be near to my nipples or latched a large proportion of time. When she’s asleep she might naturally move herself to a position where she can latch on and you’ll both start to get the hang of it. You could try power pumping to try and stimulate more milk production and then she’ll be getting breast milk instead of formula so if you do want to exclusively breastfeed you’ll have that supply (whether by physically latching or continuing to pump).

The positioning will likely get easier as she gets bigger, are there any breastfeeding classes near you put on by the health visitors as it’s always helpful to get multiple people’s advice hands on. Have you tried things like the sandwich hold to try and position your breast differently? I think I drove my husband mad trying to find a comfortable position!

Breastfeeding is really hard though, I know very few mums who had no issues at all, it’s absolutely not failing to use formula whether in combination with breast milk or by itself.

When my baby was very small I found the rugby position good (hold baby along your side) especially if your nipples are down because it kind of dangles, use lots of pillows to prop you both. Also lying back and having baby on your tummy, or lying down with you both on your side because you can position baby a bit lower and hold the breast in place whilst you both get the hang of it. Probably best to google the positions as I’m not very good at explaining!

But just remember your body is made to do this and your baby is made to have milk from you. Sometimes it feels they’re not getting much milk but they are learning to breast feed as well and will get there.

If you have Instagram this account is great for information.
https://www.instagram.com/olivia_lactation_consultant?igsh=aTJrMmp5b3ZpZGw5

Congratulations and it does get easier, I promise!

To help with your nipple angle you can place a rolled up blanket/towel/muslin to help prop it up.

They will be fussy, especially when they have a bottle too (both mine were formula topped up in the first 4 to 8 weeks of life). This is because it's easier to drink from a bottle than the breast. You could try a supplemental nursing system, baby gets extra milk and time on the boob.

I'm 12 weeks in with my 2nd baby and I've stopped topping up and baby doesn't feel like he's constantly attached to my boob! He did have a tongue tie so that added to our issues.

Laid back or side lying positions can be really helpful. She's not pushing you away- babies use their whole bodies to breastfeed- if you were laid back and she was skin to skin with you she'd be using her arms and legs to adjust her position- can be helpful to reframe this.

It's really hard, and you are doing so well to persevere. The helpline are great- do call them.

I find FTM often think baby isn't getting enough milk because of the amount of time they spend on the breast. My LO would happily be on the boob 24/7 if I let him 😅 it takes a lot longer to get milk from the boob than a bottle so if you really want to exclusively feed you need to take the bottle away and let her feed on you for all the hours that she wants/needs. This will build your supply up to what she needs. Currently she's sucking on you but then drinking a bottle, your body doesn't know she needs that amount of milk because she's not on the boob. If any of that made sense. As your supply builds her fussiness at the boob will lesson, but your supply will only build if you let her latch as long as she needs x

Hi OP, you're doing such a good job! My 5month old was in the NICU straight away, so I didn't get any skin to skin time and it was hard. I had to pump using the hospital's pumps to get the milk to come in but my little one was too weak to BF for a while. We used the bottle and then finally she could breast feed but we used nipple shields which helped massively. Positioning is a funny one, what worked one day may not work the next! We found side lying really good, and don't be afraid to hold your boob/nipple into place.

After about 6 weeks my one started ditching the nipple shields. I'd say at around 10 weeks things were going really well and have continued to do so.

Now we have a new challenge - teeth!