Will i ever feel like having intercourse again?? Tmi

[Worrywort98]

Hi lovelies
Sorry in advance if this is TMI

As the title says pretty much ...

I am 12 weeks postpartum, and had an episiotomy & forceps delivery. Even though I was told my incision had healed "perfectly" I still have twinges at the scar site.
My vagina also feels bruised inside during sex, despite using lubricants..

Mentally I also cannot seem to 'get in the mood' no matter what. I'm taking vitamins and even herbal remedies that are supposed to help libido.
I guess sleep deprivation and hormones are still affecting things. My husband is lovely and understands and isn't pressuring me, but I am finding my sub-zero libido is quite distressing. Even though we've talked about it, I'm worried about it affecting our relationship

Please share your stories and give a girl some hope or tips 🙏 TIA

12 weeks is very early and I wouldn't worry about not feeling in the mood yet. All I can say is that most people seem to recover (many children have siblings!) and it sounds like you have an understanding partner. Give it time, focus on your family, and see what happens.

It takes time.. I had different injuries but I still felt the twinges until at least 7 months PP. Now at 11 months PP the site is barely noticeable.

I didn’t want sex for months and months, after giving birth. 12 weeks is nothing. You are still healing and it takes time. There’s no rush, you will heal and you’ll be fine. Childbirth is brutal and then you have stupid hormones upsetting everything and sleepless nights to contend with. Don’t be hard on yourself, what you are experiencing is completely normal. Congratulations on your baby.

Thank you for replying. Did anything help in particular or was it just with the natural passing of time and everything eventually returning to normal?

OMG OP you just had a baby. Your body is taking time to heal and recover from a pretty traumatic physical event. Give your self time and shift your mindset. Honestly if not having sex after having a baby is affecting your relationship you need to consider that a relationship can survive without it for a few months. If you break your leg you won’t feel like running again right away even if you sued to run marathons. When you heal and your body is ready you will want to run again. Focus on your baby.

Yes it’s just time. Everything has to heal and your hormones have to settle. You can’t do anything really.

Are you breastfeeding? Apparently lactation hormones can naturally suppress your libido, I felt actively repulsed by the idea of sex for most of the time I was exclusively breastfeeding. Presumably it's a helpful evolutionary adaptation to avoid another pregnancy too quickly.

Please don’t worry. I put it off for nearly a year as to be honest I was a bit scared it would hurt and I was absolutely knackered so indulging in sex was not on my radar. Luckily my husband was very understanding which did help. 12 weeks is absolutely nothing in your recovery time.

Please take this pressure off the table OP. Your body has been through so much and you deserve some grace to recovery physically and mentally. You say your DH is understanding which is great, but where is this pressure coming from? If it’s from yourself then please try and take a big step back and let yourself breathe. You are in the very early days and it is a lie (and I do think it’s a lie!) that we are able to bounce back to our pre- baby mindset when we’re so fresh from birth. Concentrate on non-sexual intimacy for a bit. Pills and vitamins aren’t going to magic back your sex drive, but time will.