15 month old witnessing arguments

[Mumtobe202310]

Dear all Mumsnetters,

Hope you and your LOs are well.

Amy LO is 15 months old and since I given birth there had been many instances my ex husband and I argued.

I was always stressed and on edge.

I live alone with my LO now and I try hard to make sure im regulated.

Recently my mum and brother came to my place and they shouted a lot at each other.

I had my LO with my mum while I was in kitchen doing my cooking and my brother was in living room and he said something to which my mum was shouting back at him. I went into the room and pleaded for her to not shout as my LO is there he is a baby.

This happened a few more times while they were here to a point when my bro and my mum talked I closed the door in bedroom and took my LO away into kitchen and rocked him to sleep.

The morning after my LO had developed fever. He has not been eating and drinking well at all, having medicine even was a fight.

However, what is worrying me is my LO suddenly been doing these jerky movements with his limbs. He does do it time to time but the last 2 days it's been a bit heightened if that makes sense. He will not wanna be out down either, he just wants to be held so I'm writing as he is in my arms.

His sleep has been so bad too, not sleeping hardly at all.

I am so so confused as to if it's just in my mind that all this is because of the screaming around him or of its because of he is unwell.

Do you think my LO will be okay and back to his normal self?

I since then explained to my Mum to come alone and not with bro because of the fights.

I feel extremely extremely sad thinking that I couldn't shield my LO from the stress my ex husband and my own family have caused me and that too around my LO. My sadness and guilt is eating me.

Please help me, any advice will be much appreciated.

@Mumtobe202310 bless you sounds like you’ve been through it with your ex. I’m not a professional but it sounds like you’re really putting your little one first which is amazing. The fact you spoke to your mum and brother about their behaviour is also great as it shows you’re being mindful of your little one’s environment and what they are exposed to.

Conflict is a natural part of relationships so I guess the aim wouldn’t be to remove it altogether but to model healthy conflict and resolution. This is where parenting gets hard (for me anyway) as it’s when you have to look in the mirror and see there might be areas to work on to make this a reality!

So as long as your child isn’t repeatedly exposed to this type of behaviour and has the healthy behaviours modelled to them by you then that’s really the best you can do as a parent. But it sounds like you’re doing a great job x

You're a very responsible parent. Any health concerns about your LO should be addressed with your GP. Better to be safe.