Crying every day

[Bluesea14]

Hi everyone,
my baby is 8 days old.
Since birth I have cried multiple times a day for various reasons - some being:

• my low supply
• formula feeding at the req of the hospital as baby is not gaining weight
• the pressure of BF - not sure I even want to do it! I would prefer a mix of breast and formula (not looking for BF advice - already in touch with people)
• baby not sleeping after feeds - is this normal?!
• baby only sleeping when I hold her
• worriee I'm doing the wrong thing
• worried I'll make her ill
• Worried I've made the wrong decision and I'm not cut out for kids

does this all sound normal?! Feel like everyone else loves the first 2 weeks but I'm really struggling

Congratulations on your baby! This was absolutely me, OP. I found it totally overwhelming - even with my second baby.

Your health visitor should be coming soon for the 10 day check and I would really recommend you mention this to her. They say some crying can be normal for up to two weeks, but my HV was really good at keeping an eye for any PND developing and offering me some extra support and information when it looked like it wasn't getting better for me. They will be so used to this that you can be really open with them. Do you have support in real life? Baby's dad or your family?

This is normal - your hormones are all over the place immediately after birth, I was told to expect a dip in mood and that dip did come. But just because something is normal, in the sense that many people experience it, does not mean you should not seek help. Please speak to your health visitor or midwives if you are still in their care so that they can refer you for local support. There might be local groups where you can talk to other people, or talking therapies etc.

just remember you have been through a huge amount in having your baby, worries about feeding, you’re obviously physically exhausted from looking after the baby, you’re sleep deprived, your hormones are all over the place… is it any wonder you feel like this? A lot of people at some point think what have I done, I can’t do this - but you can and you will. For me a turning point was when the baby starting smiling around week 5!

on the question about baby not sleeping after feeds, I don’t know if it’s normal or not but my baby always did fall asleep after feeds. Perhaps it is connected to the supply / weight gain issue, if the baby is still hungry they may not be falling asleep. But you’re far better off asking a health professional than people on the internet for their speculations on that one.

Hello, here to offer some solidarity. My baby is 9 weeks and I felt like I was completely out of control (of life and my emotions) for 4 weeks when it finally started to lift, by 6 weeks I was barely crying and I feel completely normal now.

It’s of course wise to be aware of PND/PNA, I wouldn’t say anything you’re describing is out of the realms of normal. Feel free to message if you want to chat to someone else recently post partum! It does get easier xx

Oh you poor thing. I was the same with my first baby. He just wouldn't latch at the breast and I was in complete panic for weeks trying to breastfeed, feeling like I was failing him etc. I ended up doing a combination of breastfeeding and formula feeding, which went well (eventually - it took time). So you're not alone. It's easy to look around and see the "outside" that people present when they've had a baby, but I bet you they have all had their tearful moments. Also remember you've just been through a huge (possibly traumatic) experience - giving birth. The birth of my first child was horrendous, and traumatic, and lasted for about 40 hours, and then suddenly I found myself responsible for a tiny child who wouldn't eat! No wonder I was stressed out of my mind. Then all the pressure from the midwives about him losing weight in the first two weeks didn't help my mental state at all.

Sleep takes a long time to even out, so don't panic about her only sleeping on you. This will change in time. See if you can find ways to get some sleep yourself so you don't go crazy - will she sleep on your partner?

And try not to catastrophise - you cannot judge what it is like to be a parent from the first 8 days, and so it is too soon to be worrying about whether or not you are cut out for it! It does get easier, I promise. Hang in there. Big hugs. x