Will my vagina go smaller in time? Episiotomy..

[KittyKatG]

Hi everyone, writing this to issue my anxieties and negative feelings after a very traumatic birth of my first child

Long story short, had an emergency forceps and episiotomy birth because I had sepsis during labour. Not sure what caused it.. possibly because my waters that had broken during induction had been left around 36hrs....? Or that I had so many internal checks.. who knows

Was in hospital for 10 days total. Had to be readmitted as my episiotomy stitches got infection

I am currently seeking counselling that I'm waiting for also and have been put on antidepressants for PND

I have been obsessive over looking at reassurance of if your vagina can shrink back to a smaller size especially after an episiotomy?

I'm so devastated I went for a natural birth. It's my biggest regret. I wish I'd have had an elective section.

Been looking into reconstruction surgeries.. and trying to do pelvic floor like mad :(

Gently, does it matter? I saw this as someone who really cares about my body image and exercises a lot. The only person that will see/feel it is you and your partner who should not care. You have had a baby, you are amazing for this and for what you have been through be kind to yourself. I do feel that things felt like they were mostly back to normal about 2 years pp

I've had episiotomy and also natural tears and then a second birth with tears.

My vagina is perfectly normal now. It's so hard post birth especially with everything that you've been through. But please try to trust the healing process. Things don't spring back in weeks. It will take a while for your body to recover, but you'll get there!

Yes, mine has. Please don't worry about this. I know it's scary but your body will heal.

I was very traumatised by my first birth,was meant to be a planned CS, but I went into labour while in hospital for pre eclampsia. It was awful, I swore I would never have another. I had full blown PS. This was 1970,no therapy, put onto Purple Hearts, very heavy antidepressants used by us troops in the Vietnam time. I could hardly stand up. 3 vaginal deliveries (after being told I wouldn't be able to have one, because of pelvic girth. 2 episiotomy one bad tear. I found I was smaller after the sutures. Still doing the pelvic floor exercises now.

I had an almost identical experience to you, except that I didn't get readmitted when my episiotomy stitches got infected and ripped open (through feeling of them pinging still gives me thr shudders!) so they were left open. Everything is fine and normal now. Please don't be anxious about this.

It's mainly because of things I've read, lack of feeling/sensation and laxity is a common one for some people who've had episiotomy 🫤

Sex with hubby is number one thing I enjoy and to think that could be affected in future..😔

I know I'm jumping the gun. I'm so anxious about it and my body image too

I don’t have any advice but I would urge you to join the birth trauma association group on Facebook.

Rosebud, joined, thank you! 🙌

Honestly don’t worry OP, I had the same thing, episiotomy & tears, 7 months ago when I had my baby girl. It has all healed, it doesn’t look exactly like it used to but it was never going to but I did ask my husband when we started having sex again out of curiosity and he says it doesn’t feel any different!

I'm not sure how long ago this was, but it takes time to recover fully.

I only had minor tears and no cuts and I went to the nurse and the GP a couple of times asking them if I was going to be like this forever. So you can feel like things aren't right for a while even without an episiotomy. I really wasn't happy afterwards either. It didn't look right or feel right for ages.

I was sore for a long time too. Much longer than I would have thought.

I was the same about my boobs too. I was convinced I was going to need surgery but they're absolutely fine now.

Birth and pregnancy are really rough. Give yourself the proper time to heal, work on some core strengthening exercises when you feel up to it (I think they help), then see where you are then. Your body can do amazing things to heal itself.

I'm sorry but I dont think vaginas do go back to its orgional shape and size after a natural birth
It will shrink of course, but its not going to be the same pre pregnancy
Thought all women knew this? Most women accept this though, as long as your healthy that's the main thing

I know it will never be the same as it used to be prior.

Just smaller.. i looked at it with a mirror a week ago.. as I feel it gapes alot now and got that dragging feeling

I've had two vaginal births, my first was forceps and episiotomy too. Sex is still very enjoyable. Only issue I've had, is occasionally the area where the scar from the cut is can be a bit tender. But that is something I feel ‘after’ sex not during and the majority of the time is not a problem.

Try not to worry. I remember looking at my bits with a mirror after giving birth the first time and I was horrified as I was so bruised and it all looked stretched out etc... But time really is a healer and it all looks ‘normal’ down there now.

I’m sorry to hear you’ve gone through a difficult birth and post-partum. All I can say is that I’ve also had an episiotomy and my vagina is back to normal, to be fair it didn’t take long, but I can just feel a scar. The OBGYN explained that the skin down there is like the inside of our mouths, and that it should heal fairly quickly. As for the inside, birth doesn’t ‘stretch’ it, you’re made to have a baby go through the birth canal, and your vagina adapts. You won’t permanently have a massive vag, or it is very unlikely. Pelvic floor exercises and being as active as you can be does help.

It sounds like you've had a very traumatic time and you need time to both mentally and physically heal. As for your vagina, with time it will recover. Remember, it too has been through a traumatic event and it will take time to heal. If it makes you feel better I had forceps and episiotomy with my dd, and then a tear with my ds. My vagina felt odd and loose after my DD's birth for quite a few months, and it hurt to have sex until she was 8 months old. But it did recover and our sex life is great.

I had the same as you with my first, huge baby, me slim, episiotomy and forceps with ventouse, child was oxygen deprived and all the stuff that comes along with that. Regret natural birth in my circumstances.

I was uncomfortable there, for several years, but it eased away. You are never the same after a natural birth, you have been stretched and maybe cut, but that is normal for human women.

I am fine later in life, no issues. I had 2 c sections after my first ordeal though.

OP if you have your baby now, the rest will be fine down below. Relax and enjoy motherhood.

How long ago was this? Everything should settle in 6-12 months x

Mine has, major stitches needed after baby 2 15 years ago and absolutely went back to normal.

Please try not to worry xx

Firstly I’m sorry to hear you had a tough time and I hope you get some support.

I had a vaginal delivery with DD, no episiotomy but I did have a second degree tear into the vagina. It did take nearly a year to feel normal - I would say it took until 8-9 months before it felt like my innards wouldn’t fall out if I ran - but it got there. Is it a bit looser than before? Maybe. But both DH and I are late 40s and tbh he’s not the same either. He’s never complained (or had the very good sense not to say anything).

Are you breastfeeding? Because I had issues with vaginal dryness whilst breastfeeding that went away once I stopped (and was solved with good lube whilst I had it).

@KittyKatG - I had an episiotomy with ds1, and everything did go back to normal - and I went on to have two more babies, with just small tears, and these also healed up well.

When things are less sore, doing your pelvic floor exercises daily will help you tone up there, which also helps. I follow the advice of a FB poster called Gussie Grips, but there are others giving equally good advice.

Really strange but I know two women who have found they were able orgasm after an episiotomy where they never had before. One of them said she had tolerated sex before but now enjoys it. She now has five children to somewhat illustrate this point.

It will get smaller. I don’t remember how long mine took but it gradually changed back over time. It won’t look exactly the same, of course, but it won’t look like it does now. Think of it like your pregnancy tummy. It didn’t snap back to normal the day after you had your baby. It takes months and is gradual. Don’t worry x

The sepsis sounds awful. I'd really recommend finding a space to share about your experiences.

If your waters break pre labour starting, I thought you're supposed to be given antibiotics to protect you and the baby?

I tore both births, the first time quite a lot. But I fully recovered both times. Kegels kegels kegels. Link the practice to something you do everyday so you won't forget. Do it now, even if you can't feel the muscles yet. And pilates. So worth it. For sex and also trampolining!

It just takes time, your body will undergo a huge amount of change as you recover post birth. It's a shock at first but you will get there.

I had a very traumatic birth too - in labour for 3 days without sleep, forceps and a botched episiotomy and utterly shitty after care - as per my username it took 9 YEARS for it to heal properly and only because I slipped and tore it and it healed properly with no further intervention. During that time I couldn’t climb stairs without being in agony so, frankly (and I say this with love) what it looked like didn’t matter (because nobody was seeing it anyway).

The tissues do recover from trauma (before being destroyed by menopause).

Be gentle with yourself. Get help for the PTSD.

Was 5 weeks ago x