3 rounds of fertility treatment and now I am struggling.

[Btowngirl]

As in the title, had our second almost 3 weeks ago and I can’t get out of my own head thinking why have we done this.

My logical mind knows how lucky we are but my emotional one feels so conflicted. I feel like I can’t be a good mum to both of them simultaneously, completely overwhelmed. I feel like any attention I give to the baby is taking attention from my eldest (who is adjusting really well). I just feel so foggy and inadequate.

I wasn’t anxious at all through pregnancy but I’ve got a sense of doom about being discharged by the midwives. They’ve extended me to 28 days from 2 weeks but now I just feel doom about the discharge after next week. She’s said she thinks I’ll feel better by 6 weeks but I’m anxious that I won’t.

Does anyone have any good advice please or been in a similar situation and come out of it? Please be gentle with me I can’t stop crying.

So sorry you are feeling like this OP going from one to two is tough, but please be kinder to yourself you will be doing a great job even if you can't see it.

In the kindest possibly way, have you been referred for any mental health support? It sounds like you have postnatal depression and need more support than the midwife just telling you you'll come out of it by 6 weeks.

Contact your GP explain how you are feeling and ask for further help. Also be honest with your partner about how you are feeling ask for help from those who love you.

I remember the guilt in those early days of not being able to give my eldest as much attention as before- but when I felt like that, I used to remind myself that I'd given her a sibling, which is a huge gift. Maybe try telling yourself that. And never feel guilty for not finding every moment wonderful- babies are HARD, and there are a lot of bad days along with the good. Be kind to yourself and hold on.

Thank you both for your kind responses!

luckily my partner is completely supportive and we have a really open line of communication so that’s something that’s really helped.

Im telling myself they have eachother for life and I adore having siblings but it’s such a conflict of feelings at the moment.

In terms of PND - we have discussed this and I have additional midwife visits over the next few days. My understanding was they’d refer me if necessary, they have discussed medication with me. I’m not really pro it but obviously would go down that route if necessary, I’ve just never needed to take anything like that before.

Thanks again both, really appreciate your responses.