Mental health crisis help

[HEIHEI23]

In need of a hand hold. Last night I had the most terrifying mental health crisis I’ve ever experienced. I’m 6 weeks pp and I ended up feeling like I could hurt myself or baby (accidentally for him). I’ve been awake since 3am Sunday. Rang 999 and got told a GP would call back within the hour and eventually got a call 5 hours later to be told to go to my own gp in morning. Husband is back in work today but mum has come to stay. I can’t go on like this but don’t know what to do. I just want to run away. Have appointment in morning with health visitor but feel so scared I won’t make it until then.

Am so sorry op. Just stay with us for now. Talk to us about anything and everything.

What time will your health visitor come?

You've done the right thing by contacting them so a massive well done for that. I’m glad your mum is there with you as well. This will all be okay. It feels like an absolute nightmare right now but you will get help and everything will be fine. I say this as someone who suffered a severe mental health breakdown 8 years ago. My children are still with me, I got the help I needed and all was okay in the end. Give yourself time and patience and just take a deep breath. Let your mum look after little one for now.

Health visitor is coming at 9 ish. Husband is leaving for work and can barely look at me. I feel so guilty and selfish for leaving him to look after the baby last night.

Your husband signed up for the same job you did by having a baby I’m afraid. You need to be kind to yourself about this - think of it as any physical illness (but this is actually a lot harder to cope with). If you were stuck to the toilet being sick you could not look after baby either, if roles were reversed you’d take the baby so he could rest. It’s unfortunate he now has to go to work on little sleep but what you’re dealing with is much harder. If he’s a good man he will completely understand - obviously in the moment it sucks but that’s life. Please please try to not add things to your plate right now - it won’t help you to think of what others must think or feel. You are unwell but you’ve taken the right step by seeking help. This period will pass.

I’m off to work shortly but don’t want you to think I’ve stopped reading or caring - just take it easy, relaxing music, deep breathing. What have you tried in past that helps you relax? It’s not long now until health visitor visits, hang in there. I’ve been there, my husband had to take charge for many months, it sucked, it was so hard on everyone but we got through it, we now laugh about it- the brain can get unwell too. The right people understand and will help you in the mean time, just like you would for them.

Thank you for replying. I really appreciate it as just feel very lonely at the moment. How long did it take you to feel better? What were your treatment options? I’m on hold to the doctors now to try and get an appointment today.

Hope you get some help today OP, glad your mum has been able to come and stay.

Your husband should be at home with you. I'm glad your Mum is there. Help is coming OP and you will get through this and get better.

Doctors couldn’t give me an appointment so just hoping health visitor is more helpful! It’s taking so much effort to just get through each hour at the moment. Thank you to everyone who’s commented it helps to know I’m not alone

Just another hand hold. There is help on the way and better days coming.

You're going to be OK, OP, I promise you. I experienced some of the very darkest times of my life exactly where you are now, in those early months. I remeber the panic and utter terror, especially at night.

Let your mum look after you and help you to look after your baby. Take each five minutes as it comes and make sure you have cut out every single non-essential expectation on yourself. You and the baby need to sleep and feed, everything else can wait.

It's very tough having a tiny baby in these dark winter months. Try to get outside just for a few minutes of you can. Think of simple things that can help sooth and ground you, like listening to a favourite book as an audio book, or watching comfortable familiar TV. Especially at night when things are at their most frightening.

Hang in there OP, you'll come through this.

Also don't underestimate the impact of lack of sleep. DC1 was a very poor sleeper and I am not exaggerating when I say I nearly lost my mind. Even when DH took him away so that I could rest I could still hear his phantom crying and I was so utterly exhausted I was too tired to actually sleep and my mind would race. It was horrendous.

That's outrageous for a mental health crisis.

Speak to your HV and ask to be referred to the perinatal mental health team. Mine had someone from the team at my house the next day. Get your mum to call your HV if easier.

Also ask your HV about being referred to Home Start. I think what they offer varies by area but I found them very useful.

How are you doing OP?

I’m still struggling but have had so much support today and I’m so grateful. The mental health team came out to me this afternoon to assess me and get me started on some medication and then I have a crisis team and doctor coming tomorrow. Hopefully a small step in the right direction .

I’m glad you’re being looked after OP, you’ve been on my mind today at work but didn’t get a chance to stop and check messages. I’m sure my mental health crisis was very different to yours - I suffered from psychosis so was hearing voices for months. It was the scariest thing I have ever been through in my life. But something like that takes a long time to treat - I would say I wasn’t myself for the next couple of years after. Please don’t think that means you will have similar struggles - I received amazing support from crisis and early intervention teams but I was very, very unwell.
You are taking every precaution you can - well done for seeking help when you need it.

I'm so glad you've had support, OP. Remember just one day, hour, minute at a time. This absolutely will NOT be how things are forever.