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Original poster

I can't cope

5 replies

Bristolgirl1992 · 11/10/2024 13:47

I honestly can't cope with being a mum, I'm 5 months postpartum. I've always suffered with anxiety and overstimulation with noises. This is one of the reasons I swore I'd never have kids, then I met my partner and we got pregnant.
I love my baby so much I really do, he is a smiley happy baby most of the time.
But I am struggling being a mum so bad, the lack of sleep is getting me down, the crying... omg the crying and winging it triggers me so bad and sends me into rage and I have to leave the room. I feel so bad as sometimes I shout (not at him but in general) my overstimulation cannot help it i can't physically help it. I feel like the worst mum ever I genuinely think they'd both me better if I left. I should be fine with my baby crying because of his needs but it's so frustrating to me. And when he doesn't stop I go into a melt down.
I honestly don't know if I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I feel like I'm always in fight or flight as my mind can't cope with noise.
But it's too late now this is my new life.
80% of the time I love being a mum but that 20% is SO LOUD in my head that I cannot cope and that I'm going to damage him because I'm so up and down.
Please be kind.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 11/10/2024 13:50

@Bristolgirl1992 Please see your GP
Your hormones will be all over the place.

Your boy is good 80 percent of time 🥰

You are clearly doing right by him for him to be a happy little being.

Your GP may be able to help

MotiRoller · 11/10/2024 13:52

Bristolgirl1992 · 11/10/2024 13:47

I honestly can't cope with being a mum, I'm 5 months postpartum. I've always suffered with anxiety and overstimulation with noises. This is one of the reasons I swore I'd never have kids, then I met my partner and we got pregnant.
I love my baby so much I really do, he is a smiley happy baby most of the time.
But I am struggling being a mum so bad, the lack of sleep is getting me down, the crying... omg the crying and winging it triggers me so bad and sends me into rage and I have to leave the room. I feel so bad as sometimes I shout (not at him but in general) my overstimulation cannot help it i can't physically help it. I feel like the worst mum ever I genuinely think they'd both me better if I left. I should be fine with my baby crying because of his needs but it's so frustrating to me. And when he doesn't stop I go into a melt down.
I honestly don't know if I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I feel like I'm always in fight or flight as my mind can't cope with noise.
But it's too late now this is my new life.
80% of the time I love being a mum but that 20% is SO LOUD in my head that I cannot cope and that I'm going to damage him because I'm so up and down.
Please be kind.

Is there anyone who can help you and give you some downtime? A friend or relative. If not can you afford some help? Even a part time mother ‘s help so you can feel like you can just have an hour of complete downtime/rest time

oakleaffy · 11/10/2024 13:55

Babies can’t half BELLOW
Truly.

I find babies crying puts my teeth on edge - their cries are designed to make us go into alert mode

Because you admit to fearing you may lash out at least you are acknowledging how stressed you feel at the moment.

Is there “ Homestart” or similar on your area?

It’s a shock when the baby is finally landed for many mothers.

You are far from alone at feeling “ HELP!”

sunoutbbq · 11/10/2024 13:58

Look up Misophonia

DramaAlpaca · 11/10/2024 14:23

Oh you poor love Flowers

I think you should see your GP. Even at five months pp you could have PND. I got diagnosed with it at 6 months pp, was taken seriously and got better.

Please reach out for help.

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