I honestly can't cope with being a mum, I'm 5 months postpartum. I've always suffered with anxiety and overstimulation with noises. This is one of the reasons I swore I'd never have kids, then I met my partner and we got pregnant.
I love my baby so much I really do, he is a smiley happy baby most of the time.
But I am struggling being a mum so bad, the lack of sleep is getting me down, the crying... omg the crying and winging it triggers me so bad and sends me into rage and I have to leave the room. I feel so bad as sometimes I shout (not at him but in general) my overstimulation cannot help it i can't physically help it. I feel like the worst mum ever I genuinely think they'd both me better if I left. I should be fine with my baby crying because of his needs but it's so frustrating to me. And when he doesn't stop I go into a melt down.
I honestly don't know if I've made the biggest mistake of my life, I feel like I'm always in fight or flight as my mind can't cope with noise.
But it's too late now this is my new life.
80% of the time I love being a mum but that 20% is SO LOUD in my head that I cannot cope and that I'm going to damage him because I'm so up and down.
Please be kind.