Newborn sleeping through but I'm not

[PeapodRas]

Hi, I've got a newborn who is sleeping through the night for now.. However I'm struggling to sleep.
I'm anxious and restless though the night. I'm worried about baby needing me or sleeping safe.
I also had an emergency CS which I think has left me with some trauma
Please help! Is it normal to be like this?

Ever since my wife gave birth to our two kids (24 years ago), she found it very difficult to sleep, especially since she was used to sleeping 10 hours per night! Over time she found her rhythm, meditation helped her, but saying that, she is now the world's lightest sleeper!

No words of wisdom here, just try to find a way for you to relax.

You poor soul, that sounds hard. Is your midwife or health visitor easy to talk to? Or nurse at the GP practice?

I'll have to get in touch with them I think. I had a panic attack in my sleep so it's not great 😟

I remember this at the start too. Not helpful for everyone, but I have anxiety and found the owlet foot sock helped me "switch off" and I could "allow" myself to relax. In the night if i woke up I'd open the app and watch his heartbeat for a few mins and then be able to drift back off to sleep.

Great news looking past the short term that your baby is sleeping through though, my toddler has just started age 23 months and the sleep deprivation and insomnia issues it has caused has really impacted my quality of life and mental health these last years. Looks hopeful that you will be spared that x

Hi there it's a labour ward midwife. Some women do develop post delivery PTSD, sleep difficulties is a classic sign. Please ask your GP or health visitor to refer you for counselling. Some boroughs allow self-referral, please explore. I hope it helps

Hi
I've got a referral to the mental health team and I've seen my GP and yes I think it is linked to PTSD after the labour!
I'm a lot better already after confronting how unhappy I was with my labour experience and I'm sleeping again! Yay 😊

Aw I'm so sorry to hear that - sleep is really vital as a foundation to function.
You've done so so so amazingly with all that going on.
Hoping yours continues to settle!
I'll definitely have a look at that app - sounds better then me touching him randomly and causing him to jerk in his sleep 😂

I wasn't anxious but my mind went into drive so it stopped me sleeping so I made a mental list of the next day and had the baby always packed as much as I could and knew what housework task I planned and then my mind calmed down so I was fine afterwards

I was the same with my first, she slept peacefully from about 8 weeks whereas I woke to every snuffle or movement and was very anxious and wide awake.

I moved her to her own room at 12 (possibly 11 weeks) it was right next door and there was a decent monitor - no video as I knew I'd obsess about it. My DH thought she was far too small but he didn't wake once or breastfeed or assist in any way at night so I did what suited me.

It meant I slept and only went to her if she cried (never left her to cry)

Hi there I am glad you are feeling a bit better. Counselling might be a good idea. At some point you might consider a debrief session with a Consultant obstetrician or Consultant midwife. It's usually 1 hour appointment to go through labour events line by line and get an explanation of what actually happened. Some women find it helps them get closure. From my experience, a lot of caesareans are unavoidable. Quite often it's a baby in a silly position- a straw of bad luck in other words. Nothing wrong with the actual cervix- if the baby's head is very awkwardly positioned- the cervix won't open. Some women get a Caesarean at full dilatation- when it's the safest way to deliver the baby. Some women take a Caesarean as a personal failure when it's very often just a straw of bad luck. If there were other failures in your care the debrief appointment will help you explore. Labour records are kept for 25 years. I hope it helps

Thank you, that is very helpful.
I'm trying to look at it as the only way I know that's delivered my baby safely to me. I was more hung up on being induced 'too early' but I'll never know what a later labour might have lead to so I just need to be grateful.
I will be asking for a debrief to fill in some parts I've completely blanked out.
And it's good to know re the head as baby was engaged and quite far down at 7cm, they had to pull him quite a way back up and out again 🙈

I just want to say thanks for your tone, it really helped me feel better because yes it was really hard! Thank you for acknowledging that 😊

I have some questions which I'll ask at the debrief - when I first got started on the hormone drip I had no sensation re contractions. They asked if I had a high pain threshold but I don't.

Then after 12 hours of labour and after several panic attacks and blacking out, they stopped the drip. After this, I heard the nurses saying my contractions weren't consistent in frequency of length even though I was meeting the 4 in ten minutes threshold.

I don't have a medical background but these things feel odd to me

I am not surprised you are displaying symptoms of PTSD after what you have described. There are effective treatments for PTSD, you will get better with the right support. Saying this, I didn't have PTSD and still slept badly, constantly worried about my newborn. I think some women including myself are more prone to anxiety which doesn't help when you are a new mum. However don't let anyone to dismiss you as a paranoid parent, push for counselling. Even a few sessions could make a massive difference. Your labour doesn't make much sense to me either. I presume you didn't have an epidural. I would have to ask a lot of more questions or have read the labour notes if I was to understand. Please do book an appointment with a Consultant once you are ready. If you did get to 7 cm you are an excellent candidate for a VBAC (vaginal birth after Caesarean) if you are ever brave enough to have another child. I look after VBAC women a lot and heard this story many times over: long labour, cx not dilating exc. Then it's a different labour and differently positioned baby and often different outcome (on average 3 out 4 VBAC women have a vaginal delivery). Also ask the Consultant what you could potentially do things differently prior trying to conceive or in pregnancy to reduce the risk of being induced again. Please take good care with contraception for at least 12 months to give the scar a good chance to heal. All the best, it will get better

Again, thank you so much for replying.

I had an epidural after the 12 hours and was on the drip for a further 8 hours where the actual dilation happened. During this time I went from 4cm to 7cm but they last cm took 4 hours which is why they suggested C-section.

Great to know about VBAC as I am about 99% sure this has put me off another child but we'll see!

I also have generalised anxiety disorder which has been fine through pregnancy (after coming off meds etc) but obviously couldn't hack labour haha.