Struggling after birth of twins

[Bobbieiris]

I gave birth to my twins yesterday, the first naturally and the second via emergency C section. They were born early at 30+5 and are now on the special baby unit but are settled. I’m really struggling! I’m finding it tough learning to express colostrum and breast pump, and found it so hard today trying to manage to get some colostrum for the babies while also spending time with them in SCBU. I also find recovering from a C section so debilitating! Ive never had surgery before and have no idea how to go about the recovery. At the moment I am taking paracetamol and feel like I’m struggling to shuffle around and get in and out of bed etc. I hate being on the ward and not at home, and it’s so sad hearing all the other babies when mine are being cared for in SCBU. I just feel so overwhelmed and today I have felt angry, frustrated and upset. Yesterday felt like such a shock and I really wish I could bond better with my babies. Has anyone else experienced anything similar and have any tips on how to get through it both physically and emotionally?

Congratulations! Twins are so special and a privilege. I had one twin in special care and pumping that colostrum was a nightmare. It was really disheartening to pump for ages and get a few drops. Give yourself a break though. You've just given birth and it sounds a bit traumatic (emergency section plus vaginal birth?). You will probably feel rubbish for a while. You've been through so much physically and emotionally but try to look at the way you feel as normal, and know it will pass eventually. You just need to keep going. The early days are a blur so get some pictures and videos if you can to look at later. They're so be plenty of time to bond with your children over their lives. I feel no different to the child who was in SCBU versus my other babies who I could bond with immediately. Don't beat yourself up if they need top ups of formula, just do what you can. Do you know how long they need to stay in the unit? Hopefully they will get big enough to come out soon.

I agree with everything the PP just said. Twins, arriving early, different deliveries, emergency c section: any one of those things is big and you’re processing all of them at once. That’s huge. This is a marathon not a sprint. Bonding will come. Getting colostrum is an absolute nightmare, but your milk will come in and when you’re feeding twins be as pragmatic as you possibly can. Take care of yourself and I hope someone is also taking care of you. And congratulations.

@PrincessOfPreschool @Letttherebelight thank you! It’s so hard! I don’t know how to manage the pain of the C section recovery, I just burst into tears because I opened the breast pump sterilising bag and it was still wet and I don’t know if you are meant to dry it. I’m so tired but I can’t sleep because I’m so uncomfortable. I feel like everyone on the ward is so busy they don’t have the time to help and I have to keep asking for things. It’s just a horrible experience

Ask the nurses for painkillers. You should be able to get stronger than paracetamol.

Congratulations on the babies!

Ask the nurse for the Volterol suppositories. They go up your bottom and help with pain. After about 3 days the pain gets less. Pumping when pregnancy was only 30 weeks will be hard. Just keep doing it often and eventually the colostrum will increase. Does your hospital have donor milk from other Mums you could feed your twins until your milk supply comes? Ask about it. If not ask about formulae top up for twins.

@caringcarer I’ve had some coedine but that didn’t seem to do much, managed to sleep for a couple of hours. I think if I knew about how long it should take to recover etc I might feel better, I’ve looked a lot up online but I feel like I’ve gone through this really hard birth and then been left in this little room with no idea how I’m supposed to care for myself or recover, then being told I need to pump pump pump at least 8 times per day…it’s hard!

You've been through so much. Don't be too hard in yourself.
Take the time you need away from the twins they will be fine. Express what you can.
You need to look after you, or your no Good to the twins
X

You really shouldn’t be moving around after just having your c section

Do not worry about ringing the buzzer and asking for help - it is their job to help you

@Quitelikeit Really? No one has explained this to me. I’ve been up and down to SCBU but feel like the pain is only just kicking in, I think earlier I was still in shock and just doing what I had to do, but now I can’t believe how hard it is just to get on and off my hospital bed! My partner is coming to help me in the day time and my mum has offered to travel to stay with us and help, I feel like I need all the help I can get!

They got me moving about 24 hours after c section. I remember the pain of schlepping down to SCBU and needing to leave my other baby when she was sleeping (but usually screaming when I came back). My husband could only come in a few hours a day but he had my little boy to look after too. However I had a planned c section, emergency might be different. Plus I had one baby with me which was a big distraction. Twin pregnancies do take it out of you massively. I got an allergic reaction (perhaps to the hormones or the c section meds), very itchy hives all over my body and it lasted for 2.5 months - an immune system response. I get this very occasionally and it's managed with steroids but they couldn't give me those due to breastfeeding.

It's very difficult, OP, I won't lie. But it's so so worth it. Are they girls/boys/one of each? Do you have names? They were hassling me for a name for the SCBU baby. I think (with hindsight) they thought he may not make it and wanted him to have a name. He made it and is now the strongest, healthiest, cleverest, kindest 15yo. I honestly think that SCBU stint and fighting for his life made him so resilient.

Congratulations on your babies! I was given a type of morphine for the pain after c section. The pain is intense ask for something more. Be kind to yourself too you have been through a lot.

Most people milk only comes through after a standard 40 week birth around day 3. So not having much on day 1 is perfectly normal.

As hard as it is, maybe just rest today. You babies will be fine in scbu, do you have a partner who can be with them?
You need to rest a proper 24-48hrs without shuffling up and down as much as possible. It will help with pain from c section. And bleeding from natural birth decreases a huge amount after day 2, so it’s more manageable to move around.

Hospital beds are too high for a lot of people. In your position I'd take the opportunity to rest in hospital while you can. After both a vaginal birth and C section your body needs to recover. You've had a difficult start. Ask for more effective pain relief. Once you get home go to bed and let your DH and Mum do everything for you for a few days. They can bring babies to you in bed. You need to heel, rest and sleep to recover. 💐

The hospital should have porters chairs so some one (partner/relative) can drag you down to the SCBU. In our hospital they are just around in the corridors so any one can get one who needs one. Colostrum is very difficult to pump. Well done for trying. 8 times a day and some of those times should be in the night at that increases supply. Apparently! Ask if your hospital has a breast feeding establishing unit. Ours does and they will get you from tube feeding to breast feeding. However out of about 10midwifes that I saw 8 thought breast feeding was bonkers and over the top and 2 were really supportive of it. On the breast feeding ward! Hope you are feeling better soon. Twins are really tough. My twins are delightful now. Age 10!

Congratulations! I had v similar story (also 30&5 and emergency c-section after labour). First 2 days of pain were bonkers and hard to move at all but after that it did actually start easing enough to manage on paracetamol etc. On day 2 I could get to scbu on my own but I used a wheelchair as a ‘walker’ so I pushed it until I needed to sit and rest on it in the corridor. Took ages. Probably looked crazy but there was never anyone free to take me until DH came after work. Being on the ward without babies when everyone else had theirs was tough. Someone amazing found me a single room for this reason. I am eternally grateful for that.

Colostrum was a nightmare. After about 48 hours of nothing eventually some industrial looking pump helped me get one tiny tiny little syringe full and one of the midwife’s took it to scbu for me. They just had formula until I got a bit more milk. They weighed them twice a week and fed them ml of milk per feed depending on weight. I dreaded weigh day as then I had to up milk quantity again! Managed just about and actually established long term ebf. Expressing room envy in scbu was a real thing! But also great chance to sit and chat with others in similar situations. Setting my alarm multiple times at night to express when I didn’t have my babies for nearly a couple of months was tough and sad tbh but still easier to recover from c-section like that I think than going straight home with babies.

Bonding wasn’t easy tbh and although I spent pretty much all day every day there for 7 weeks before they came home, and did all their nappies in the incubators, and tube feeds when I could, then practised breastfeeding etc etc I really time my bonding from when they came home. No issues at all with long term bond.

It’s an absolute intense and unusual rollercoaster - hold tight and try and enjoy the ride as much as you can in between the anger and frustration. I hope your pain will ease a bit soon enough.

Sorry I’ve not replied to all your amazing supportive messages, it’s been such a whirlwind and I’m slowly beginning to adjust to things I think. Managed to pump a few times today and a decent amount, and my partner and I both had lovely cuddles with the girls. The nurses on SCBU really are amazing!!!
@Dahlia444 thats mad, so similar to me!! It’s such a shock isn’t it. And then having them rushed away from you at birth….so incredibly hard :( and such a hard situation to deal with. But I’m glad your twins are doing well and it’s really helped so much to know that I’m not the only person to struggle…I have such huge feelings of guilt for finding it so hard! SCBU really is another world isn’t it!!!

Thank you for updating us. I hope things are still going well for you and 'the babies' (that's what mine were called for months, poor things. They now have their own names!).

I was on a ward after emcs, problems bf, felt crazy

One thing that helped was getting outside, even if only for two minutes at the door of the ward. See the sky and birds and traffic, all going on as normal. Wards are so overwhelming and claustrophobic.

@PrincessOfPreschool its going a lot better thank you! My partner went back to work on Sunday so I’m just adjusting to hospital life without him. Still a bit stressed about the expressing but the nurses have reassured me that I am managing enough so feeling a bit better about it. It’s becoming less time consuming so I have more time to rest and spend time with the twins. they have moved to high dependency now and are putting on weight.
@Haroldwilson I find being outdoors really helps. I left the ward on day 6 and went home as I just couldn’t sleep there, felt much better when I got home and sleeping fine now. I’ve started to go out for little walks everyday to get some fresh air and also to help with C section recovery, it’s making a huge difference.