Hi all, I posted here once before under a different topic. This is going to be a long post as I really need to rant.
I’m nearly 12 weeks postpartum. My lovely baby boy is nearly 3 months old. I feel like I should be feeling good now and enjoying myself more, but unfortunately my journey from the day I was in labour hasn’t been easy. I was having a homebirth and my labour was back to back with my baby, so it was really painful. We had everything prepared - the pool etc. But after having contractions for like the whole day my temperature, blood pressure and pulse all started shooting up and my midwife had to call an ambulance. I had to get an emergency c-section. Unfortunately, I developed an infection and then sepsis during labour, which started spreading to my baby, so we had to be separated for 5 days as he needed to be in the neonatal unit. It was so strange as I went from being very pregnant and having a peaceful homebirth to being rushed to the hospital and being in this strange environment and being separated from my baby and my husband. I later found out that I actually could have died due to the sepsis..
Then I was in pain from the c-section, but I was going to the neonatal unit every day to see my baby. I tried to breastfeed him, but it was extremely painful, my nipples started to bleed even through nipple shields (sorry, tmi). My milk supply was also low, so I had to pump every 3 hours to increase my milk supply.
When we got home after 5 days I was so tired I felt like I was floating. I gave breastfeeding a chance again and I stuck with it even though I screamed in pain sometimes. It still isn’t great even though I saw a few different lactation consultants. Later I found out my baby had a tongue tie, but cutting it didn’t really help to reduce my pain. On top of that, my midwife from the homebirth service was supposed to come to our house and help us 5 times I think after we came home, but because I received help in the hospital for 5 days they took me off the scheme without even talking to me first. I received these news just after I left the hospital.
The day after we came back from the hospital my PIL came and didn’t offer us any help whatsoever even though DH and I were in shock and I practically cried telling them what happened in labour. My MIL didn’t offer help even though she would tell me she would help us regularly when I was pregnant. My husband had to make them cups of tea and serve biscuits and then he had to confront MIL on the phone a few days after, so that should would do something, but even then we haven’t received much help. Thankfully, my mum came and helped us for a couple of weekends (she lives further away).
DH went back to work after four weeks and it was hard, but then I felt better for a week. I would take DS out for walks in the pram etc. My mood was also better, so it was nice. However, that didn’t last very long. After that week I crashed and started feeling completely exhausted even though DS is a good sleeper. To me it was a bit of a dramatic change from the week before. My mood was also all over the place and I cried almost every day. Last week I went to the GP and got a blood test. Yesterday I had to go back, because something was wrong and I received the news that I have postnatal thyroiditis. I’m in the hyperthyroidism stage and apparently nothing can be done atm, so yay, I have to keep feeling this way - exhausted, crying every day etc. Please someone tell me this will get better. I’m only 27 and I would like to enjoy my baby and my life, but I’m not having a good time atm 😔