Caesarean pain 12 weeks plus

[Artnoken]

Hi, first time poster. But hoping for some help. My partner had an elective c-section due to baby's size. Post op, baby was brought to neonatal due to issues breathing. He stayed in Neonatal for a week. My partner stayed in the hospital with him. But he was on a separate floor, so she had to walk from her room on the maternity unit to the lift and then down 3 floors to then walk from the lift to the unit. She would spend as much time with him as she could and on some occasion's was standing up looking into his incubation chamber. At the same time the hospital were really pushy on breast feeding. She had a wheelchair for the first day post op, but was then made to walk to him after this.

We are 12 weeks on from this now and my partner is still struggling with the pain. She can only walk short distances and as the day gets on she gradually feels more uncomfortable. She doesn't do anything strenuous and I help out where i can when i'm working from home.

She is considerably better than she was at 6 weeks, but i think she feels she is not recovering as well as she expected. She has contacted her GP who dismissed her at first, then she spoke to her health visitor who emailed the GP who eventually referred her to the gynaecologist. The gynaecologist doctor wanted to refer her for a scan of her scar but the consultant refused as her blood test did not show up any signs of infection. She was sent home with 3 days worth of codeine which knocks her out.

The reason I am telling you this is because she is really struggling mentally and physically. She had a vision of what her maternity was going to be like and this is not it. She often gets really frustrated at her ability to do things and is avoiding driving and agreeing to do things with her friends because she is scared of the pain etc. I've tried to encourage her to reach out for mental health support but she doesn't think she has any mental issues, just physical which in my opinion is compounding her mental health as a result.

We've talked about any damage she might have done whilst our baby was in Neonatal and we have read lots online about recovery times. But i guess what i'm really asking is for any mums that have had a similar experience or experiences around C-section scarring and recovery and hopefully some examples of recovery and how long it might have taken. I'd also be really grateful for any advice or tips on anything that can aid her recovery. She won't seek mental health support, regardless of how much I try to encourage her that it might help her cope with the reality that it is not going to get better overnight.

There is no rush from me for her to recover quickly. I'm happy for it to take as long as it takes. What i mean by this is that i'm not in any rush to be doing 10 mile hikes with her and the baby, etc. I want her to be ok, but I feel so out of my depth as i firstly have no reference point of what the pain feels like and secondly that my silver linings/positive spin approach doesn't seem to be working at all. This has all come to a head because the other night she was inconsolable and no matter what I said or suggested it did not help the situation.

If anyone has any advice or similar experiences i would love to hear from you.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and i look forward to hearing from you.

I was still in pain 12 weeks after both of my sections and I found it physically, mentally and emotionally draining.

My second child was in neo natal for 11 days.

It took me at least 4/5 months to recover from my first and 6 months for my second.

I didn't drive for quite a while either.

Is she still on pain meds? It's worth speaking to the GP about that. Painkillers really helped me function and cope.

It's extra annoying when people tell you that you are lucky to have a section or others who had a section tell you that they were fine after 2 paracetamol and doing yoga after 2 weeks so do make sure she's not exposed to any of those opinions.

She will get there but it's bloody depressing being in constant pain and worrying about when is it going to stop.

@MinervaMcGonagallsCat Thank you, she has stopped talking pain killers altogether. She says that she doesn't want to mask the pain incase she makes it worse.

Completely agree about the posts where people have recovered within 2 weeks. Some of our NCT friends have already recovered from theirs which i think is getting her down more.

Did you seek any support for your mental and emotional health?

I had 6 weeks pain relief volcanology. I didn't like codeine. She could have adhesions and they could have made a mistake sewing her up. You can ask for counselling as ptsd can happen etc. It hasn't gone to plan and that can be difficult. Get her to see other new mums at an nct get together or ask hv for help. Other people have issues after birth too.

Did you seek any support for your mental and emotional health?

I will be honest, no I didn't. I scoured the internet though looking to find out if there were other people like me - taking a while to recover.

I wouldn't have been able to cope without painkillers though. That would have tipped me over the edge. If she is in pain she needs help with it.

Painkillers are essential. I had complications. Re admitted etc. Painful adhesions. Sometimes problems with scarring.

What painkillers did you use, was it ok to use long term? Also what is pain relief volcanology?

thanks.

I'm 6 months post c section and I'm still in pain, have been advised scar tissue can differ between people and so more pain for some than others.
Might be worth a private consultation just to get a second opinion if it's something you're able to do.

And of course congratulations!

Hi, what painkillers did you use in the end, my partner is now seeing a physio who has advised her muscle has separated by 5cm and she had quite a few adhesions. She has hope now that she will get better but wants to know what painkillers your GP prescribed because they only gave her 3 days worth of co-codamol. Thank you, very much appreciated.

I was on cocodamol (30/500) for 4 months plus ibuprofen

16 years and my scar still hurts daily. If I bump against counter, table etc it is horrible. No-one would examine my scar and any report of pain dismissed. Now I have other abdominal op scars running through the CT scar, none of which have been examined since I left the operating theatre. Welcome to womens healthcare.

Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry to hear about the struggles you have. That must be awful to live with. I know it probably doesn’t mean much from a man. But what I have noticed since my partner gave birth is the complete lack of compassion for mothers who are in pain. The attitude is “it’s normal, stop bothering us, we have more important things to deal with” it’s disgraceful. Because I could guarantee, if men were giving birth, all the research would have been completed and they’d be painless and treated like kings.

my partner has found a private physio that specialises in post parfum recovery and this seems to be helping. (NHS wouldn’t even entertain her) Her physio said that she works with women at all stages and lengths of time, so not sure if this is something you could explore maybe that might help.

i hope it gets better for you soon.

I had issues with my Cs scar after DS2. I went to the GP a couple of times but just got told that it takes a few months to heal. I didn't have pain along the whole scar, just one end.

When DS was 4 months old the scar burst open at the end that hurt. There had been a huge abscess there. I will spare you the gory details but it was not pleasant. However, the pain stopped instantly.

After the abscess was sorted I didn't have any other problems or pain. DS is now 26.

Please encourage your partner to go back to the GP. I just took my GPs advice that it was going to take a while to heal rather than pushing for more help.

I really hope that your partner gets it sorted out.