MiL issues

[jiashah]

Hi
Have MIL who is acting the victim. Just had baby boy three weeks ago. MIL forced her way to come over two hours from being discharged from hospital. Then she keeps asking for photos to send her family. I’ve already told her we hardly have chance to take photos let alone send them. She then calls my mum and cries over phone saying she so upset that I refusing to give photos. She then says she had shingles a month ago and didn’t want to worry us! We have seen her last few months and I was heavily pregnant with an older child!!
I have lost all respect for her. She hast even asked me how I’m doing after birth and keeps demanding video or photos. I’m exhausted and still adjusting to life with two kids. I’m borderline depressed already and had PND last pregnancy.
She doesn’t understand and I just need space from her. What shall I do?

I had one of those, you do nothing, just carry on as you are and get your husband to deal with his mother xx

MIL are the worse - I suspect I had PND from first pregnancy too cos my MIL was always criticising me and being negative about random stuff, staring at me breastfeeding and making me feel uncomfortable, forcing me to do stuff.
I remember she didn’t even once ask how I felt after my c section when I was in such pain and all she cared about was their baby - she made me feel like I was just a baby carrying machine and I remember she kept on taking the baby off me after each breastfeed so I didn’t feel like I bonded with my baby until ages later. I barely even hugged my own baby as she was also staying with us for the first month. I had to put up a “front” every day which added to my depression - was so relieved she left.

You should ignore her seriously and don’t let her get to you!! Hopefully she’s not in your face like mine was - She’s not your mum at the end of the day - can you ask DH to speak to her?? he needs to sort her out and handle/filter all comms between you and her.

Mine also wanted to be here for the second child (she didnt get how upset she made me feel) and I strongly said no chance..I was so angry and luckily put my feet down - after I gave birth she hasn’t even asked how I am once but I really don’t give a sh*t about her and her feelings anymore when she doesn’t care about mine. And I bonded so much better with this baby seriously without her presence.

Just ignore her and her messages and carry on - let DH deal with it

Ignore her, don’t respond, you don’t have to.
she can text your husband - her child and stop getting involved in your marriage by messaging you. You need boundaries. I don’t understand what is wrong with MIL with sons, get over yourselves!!!!!

I don't know. The shingles thing is awful but I don'r believe that you have no time to take or send photos of your baby.

I’m not quite sure what your point is about the Shingles. It is only infectious if you come into bodily contact with the fluid from the blisters.

i would ignore her. that may damage your relationship but put yourself first and ask your DH to respond to his mother. why can't he take and send photos/vids?